what do you hate hearing the most from NTs?

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For me, its when i say to my dad that i have to hit myself sometimes and my dad says "well then just dont do that." it bugs me because he doesnt understand me that its just like an itch

or when my grandfather says "why dont you just concentrate in class like everyone else?"

and when my mom comes down from Calgary and says "change your shirt" and "why dont you just brush your hair? its not hard!"

Is there anything NTs say that drive you nuts?

"jerk yourself up by your own bootstraps" and other similar garbage.

I would put this in 400 point font if I could - YOU MISSED A SOCIAL CUE!

You're under arrest.

What do I hate hearing the most from NTs?

"What is the matter with you?"

"Why can't you be more like < name of someone else >?"

"Give me your honest opinion ..."

"I need your decision now."

"I'm only thinking of you."

"It's the thought that counts."

... more to come ...

"suck it up"

"a jobs a job"

"you're not the only one"

"You're autistic? I've got [insert distant relative] who's autistic! I know what you're going through!"

When I get nervous talking on the phone and my dad says, "Just say what you need to say!"

Once when my stepmom and dad were planning on going somewhere and leaving me with this girl who kind of scared me (I had a lot of scary friends when I was a kid, lol) and to get out of it, I tried telling my stepmom that I wasn't in the mood to stay with her, and my stepmom just said, "Well, it can't always just be about what LtlPinkCoupe wants to do." I ended up getting to stay home alone after all, but it still really hurt that my attempts at self-preservation had been misconstrued as my simply being a brat.

When I get reminded that I need to lose weight, that it will take me longer to graduate from college, and that my older stepbrothers are far more successful in life than I can probably ever hope to be....I KNOW all that already; I don't need reminding.

Definitely all of the above. I am sure I will think of more later.

Fnord, you mentioned " I need your decision now." I have so much trouble when someone wants to know how I am feeling or what I am thinking or what I want NOW. Why do we have so much trouble with this? Sometimes when people insist that I tell them NOW it is so stressful for me it sends me into meltdown. Do you know why this is so hard for us?

"You seem "normal" to me"

"You are doing so well for someone with your condition"

"Why is your apartment so dark all the time, wouldn't it be nicer if it was brighter"

"You are technically the best person for this job but the customers have reservations about you" usually followed by "I don't think your employment here is working out, you may want to consider other options"

No.

... more ...

"Does < someone > have Asperger's Syndrome?"

"Does (s)he love me?"

"Why does (s)he treat me that way?"

"I seen 'Slingblade', so I know what Autism is all about."

"'Autistic' is just a fancy word for 'ret*d'."

"You need a girlfriend."

"You need to get laid!" (I'm asexual)

"You're so quiet."

"You should talk more!"

"You just need to come out of your shell."

"Can I help you?" (at a store)

"Come out to a bar with us!" (Especially when they keep asking after I decline)

"You know, you don't need to stay in your room all of the time."

"Are you sure?" (when I decline an offer of something)

"smile"

I've heard my mother asking me "Why are you walking around in the dark? Why don't you turn the lights on?" a lot when I'm visiting my parents. Although she's done a lot to understand me after being diagnosed she doesn't seem to fully realize my light sensitivity and that my night vision ranks nearly up there with cats.

I also hate it when people come to my apartment and start gushing about how much stuff I have or my artwork that's on display, especially if I don't know them, it makes me
very uncomfortable. Fortunately, this very seldom happens.

I used to hear a lot more things that nearly annoyed me to death before and shortly after my diagnoses and still lived in a home, including:
"Keep your voice down"
"You need to stop being in your bedroom all the time"
"You need to understand and accept that (insert name) acts that way because he/she has (insert mental illness)"
"You're selfish and immature"
"Time for your hygiene" (our daily showering and washing)
"Did you wash your hands?"
"Did you wipe yourself?"
"You need to socialize"
"You need to just get over it" (my depression and anxiety after going through hell and back before my diagnoses)
"They're allowed to (insert behavior I can't stand such as blasting heavy metal music when I'm trying to sleep at night) because that helps them cope with their (insert mental illness).
"If you have one more outburst (i.e meltdown), you're going to be (insert punishment).
"Get up now or you'll get extra chores"
"Time to do your chore"
"We have to come here when *you're* sick" after I complained about staff coming in when they're half-dead with the flu.
"You're just as bad with cartoons, only worse!! !" after I had made fun of a staff's obsession with a soap opera.
"WELL YOU SURE LOVE TO YELL!! !" after I got into an argument about how much I hated noise, especially when it's made in the wee hours of the night by two drunk residents and making my insomnia even worse, with a staff. I still hear that phrase over and over in my head years later.

I very seldom hear NT people say things I hate now these days however, because I practically live like a hermit now. But now the boredom, isolation and loneliness is gotten almost unbearable at times. Can't win.

When I was a teenager, I also hated it when my stepmom would ask me "Are you using deodorant?" "Are you using facial wash/Clearasil" or "Are you using plenty of toothpaste when you brush your teeth?" as if I wasn't doing all those things.

I hate when my mum asks me when I am going to get my hair done or when people tell me I am fat like I don't have mirror or a scale.

I just don't understand why it bothers people if my hair is not done. I live in a single braid or ponytail. If I'm fine with it why should they care?

I hate when people tell me I should dress up more. My clothes are clean, usually not torn, I do have a pair of sweats and a pair of jeans that are and I love them that way, and one pair of sweats has paint handprints and splotches on it from when I painted the garage which I also love, but all my clothes cover everything that needs to be covered. Why do they need to be more than that?

I can dress appropriately if I have to like for a job or a nice dinner or something, but just every day hanging out or being home or doing errands, if I want to wear sweats or jeans or cargo shorts with tshirts and crocs clogs what's wrong with that?