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kellierenee
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06 Oct 2013, 12:18 am

My DD4 has autism and cannot talk a single word. I feel so guilty because she prefers to be left alone. I wonder if it's my fault. I don't enjoy my own activities because I feel like I should be doing more with her. Does anyone understand where I coming from? Can anyone give me advice to cope with the guilty feeling? I'm so upset....



cathylynn
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06 Oct 2013, 1:05 am

true guilt vs. false guilt. true guilt is to get you to change hurtful behavior. false guilt is everything else. keep reminding yourself that you have false guilt and keep doing the right thing. eventually the false guilt will lessen.



kellierenee
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06 Oct 2013, 1:15 am

That's great advice Cathy. Thank you so much!



Thelibrarian
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06 Oct 2013, 8:59 am

kellierenee wrote:
My DD4 has autism and cannot talk a single word. I feel so guilty because she prefers to be left alone. I wonder if it's my fault. I don't enjoy my own activities because I feel like I should be doing more with her. Does anyone understand where I coming from? Can anyone give me advice to cope with the guilty feeling? I'm so upset....


Yes, there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Autism is a biological condition, and nothing any of us are going to change or cure, although it is certainly possible to treat the autistic better or worse. Traditionally, Christianity has explained our imperfections with the doctrine of original sin. Liberalism has its own version of original sin originating with Sigmund Freud. Freud believed that parents couldn't possibly rear their children without at least some neuroses. If we consider that with Christianity it was understood that parents weren't responsible for original sin, and that it could be expiated with baptism, it becomes clear that the liberal version of original sin is far more pernicious--and wrong.

All parents can do is their best, and realize that imperfect parents are not going to bear perfect children. All we can do is our best. Parents need to be okay with this.