Hi I am NT. Please help.

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Curious Mom-

I know my reply is a little late, but I skimmed through this thread and have some thoughts.

First of all, it's awesome that you care so much, and your post has led to a really interesting discussion.

As for how to approach the woman who is bothering you (if you haven't already)- I would just ASK her, really directly, if and how she wants you to share her feedback with you.

For example, just say:
1. I have some feedback on our friendship, relationship, etc (whatever you want to call it). Are you open to hearing it?
2. If she says no, then she probably isn't open to what you have to say. At that point, make the decision to do what's best for you as far as how much time you spend with her.
3. If she says yes, ask her what time would be good for you guys to talk. Don't go into the feedback unless she says "now" is okay. I would then be tactful but really direct.

I really hope this helps, and good luck. I suspect my mom is AS, and I see a few similarities between her and the woman you're talking about. This is exactly how I would approach my mom if I had something really important to convey to her.

Hello

Your biggest problem in this scenario is that you do not appear to know how to assert yourself. You probably fear self asserting because you believe it will alienate people. I'd recommend taking some courses, this is a valuable skill for anyone.

Aspies self-assert naturally, but not always in socially acceptable ways. I am guessing the Universe keeps sending you autists in order to get you to learn how to assert yourself (hopefully in a healthy way).

Good luck. Also, that other lady is lucky to have met you, but you are not obliged to turn your world upside down for anyone.