Self flagellating hatred. Typical issue or not

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nouse
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29 Sep 2019, 11:01 am

Whenever people come to say positive things about me I just flat out say to their face that I'm actually terrible person and they have perceived things wrong and then I make cases where this applies particularly well.

When I'm at home I think that I'm a fraud and I have just been lucky whereas people see me as troubled. I also tend to downgrade my CV's etc.


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I'm probably a person with schizotypal/ schizo spectrum brain.


Fnord
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29 Sep 2019, 11:06 am

[X] - Not Typical.


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SharonB
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29 Sep 2019, 11:27 am

I am better but still do not take compliments well. I have read that's an ASD "characteristic" but not sure at the frequency of that observation, and of course the severity you are talking about for yourself is at the edge of that - I have been there in the past and still have acute moments of that thought.

For me, I was emotionally abused by my emotionally abused (and abusive) mother. She put down my "arrogance" at every turn. She flat out put me down pretty much 90% or more of the time. She admits this much now: "I was very critical of you. My expectations were not age appropriate." (I'm in my late 40s and her expectations are still not "age appropriate".) With my proud ASD-like daughter I handle it this way: "I love when you lift yourself up, you are skilled in that area, and remember to lift others up with you on occasion." for efforts, for other areas, etc.

I have a hard time validating myself. Understanding what I can do and can't. At this point it's been suggested I don't try to figure it out, but just go ahead and do it.

Wishing you more self-validation that you don't need to repel ALL outward validation (just the mean stuff, keep the good stuff).



skibum
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29 Sep 2019, 11:34 am

That's pretty common and it stems from always having been invalidated which is also very common especially for Autistics.


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