I feel like a machine

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I just had an incredible sense of focus earlier, involving me hating someone, but I've now lost it and feel sleepy. I have goals, but it will take lots of positive action by me to attain them. Unfortunately, I tend to have little initiative. I often feel like a broken machine, that doesn't run quite properly but keeps doing its thing over and over again, but that I can't change the program without an operator. I feel trapped in an eternal present, or even a loop, if you will. My goals are as far away as ever.