When the different become the suspect

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So, something bad happened in my apartment.
Im relaxed regarding the law and police, they have proven im not guilty.

But, people where I work now know it happened in my apartment. And because im different from them (im extremely calm and I enjoy myself alone more than in the company of them) they are misjudging me. Because in their minds im a "wierdo".

They only have a vague idea of what happened and dont know nothing about it actually. Pure speculation. Only my manager knows it because I told her, and shes on my side.

What should I do? Pretend nothing happened or talk to them?
Its a team of 50 people, if a bad atmosphere turns out in the following days, even if im clean my manager is probably gonna have to dismiss me.

I'd talk about what happened casually with a couple socially connected people. Word will get around, and it might help clear the air. Otherwise people are probably going to assume the worst.

And include as part of it, "I'm sorry someone was hurt" (if that's what happened) "but I was not responsible"

And maybe also add, "It does bother me. I would like to how to handle similar situations in the future."

Be both concerned as a decent human being and matter-of-fact, and yes, you can pull that off. And I agree with the previous person, tell two or maybe three people.

There is a poster on the local train platforms that shows a lady on a cell phone in the foreground, a cluster of people farther in the background and an unattended backpack in between. The tag line is 'if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't' and people are encouraged to call in suspicious packages and persons to the transit police.

Unfortunately, the same logic will be applied to us. You are guilty until proven innocent.

It isn't fair but you should act to protect yourself. Having allies who are socially fluent and well connected is an excellent way to bridge the gap. It helps to have any kind of shared interest, such as film, but it is also good to have some currency that can be used in social gestures, such as a technical skill that can be deployed to the benefit of your allies.

Good luck! It sounds like a pretty bad situation, but one that you can get out of.

Last edited by Adamantium on 08 Nov 2013, 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Different have always been suspect but it is a lot worse now.

As Adam implied post 9/11 fears, post Columbine/Sandy Hook fears and every bad thing immediately goes viral leading to a perception that things are more dangerous then they are.

It's your manager's job to deal with this. You did nothing wrong, your manager should nip office gossip in the bud and put an end to it before it becomes a problem in the workplace.

Things seems to be better today. Havent got a different look yet.
And yes someone from my own office hurt himself badly when he was in a deeply depressive state.

Okay, Wow, I am sorry the person was hurt.

I agree with zer0netgain. And in addition, there is a method if things become a problem, and that is to tell your manager,

"It is starting to become a problem."

Even if things are clearly a problem and have been for some time, saying "starting to become" seems to be a show of strength and confidence and calmness. I'd say it works about 70% of the time, which given how unpredictable people are, ourselves included, might be about the most we can get. And then the next 70% method as need be, etc.