Don't like guests or carers touching my stuff

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AspiePride12345
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26 Oct 2013, 9:03 am

When you have guests or carers do you find yourself coming across as overly nice and wanting to do everything like do their washing up, getting them things etc because you don't want touching your stuff? I'm very like "whats mine is mine" and protective over it, and get anxious if they do things like they will judge me etc. Or am I too self conscious?



justkillingtime
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26 Oct 2013, 11:04 am

I had a co-worker who kept using my mug. I bought her a mug so she would leave mine alone.

I also waited on people visiting and did not let them help washing dishes, etc. I found having visitors was an ordeal and I stressed before and during the event. At one point I had almost nothing for them to sit on to discourage visitors. It worked pretty well. I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings but I just hated it. Meeting outside home, like at a coffee shop, worked well.


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BirdInFlight
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26 Oct 2013, 12:01 pm

A friend of mine keeps putting his used tea mug onto my drying rack without actually washing it, when he visits. Because I'm usually in a talking jag and can't calm down and notice things that are happening, I never catch him doing it until it's too late. I want to keep an eye on things and stop and say "Oh, I'll take that from you!" when he gets up and heads to my kitchen, but for some reason everything is a blur and I never manage to do this. It's because of my social anxiety in the situation.

It drives me nuts because that drying rack is to air-dry dishes and cups that I've washed properly, with dish liquid, and rinsed. Then I place them to dry in the rack. Dirty things waiting to BE washed (I often feel too busy with my other stuff in life to do it right away...) get put into the sink or on the worktop next to it.

He goes to the sink, runs the mug under the tap, then sticks it on my drying rack. It's not clean!! It drives me crazy but I always find it after he's gone, and like I say, somehow I always miss the actual moment. It's one of the struggles I have with issues of maintaining presence of mind when I feel discombobulated. And although in a sense I do enjoy the social visits, they discombobulate me all the same.



justkillingtime
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26 Oct 2013, 12:12 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
A friend of mine keeps putting his used tea mug onto my drying rack without actually washing it, when he visits. Because I'm usually in a talking jag and can't calm down and notice things that are happening, I never catch him doing it until it's too late. I want to keep an eye on things and stop and say "Oh, I'll take that from you!" when he gets up and heads to my kitchen, but for some reason everything is a blur and I never manage to do this. It's because of my social anxiety in the situation.

It drives me nuts because that drying rack is to air-dry dishes and cups that I've washed properly, with dish liquid, and rinsed. Then I place them to dry in the rack. Dirty things waiting to BE washed (I often feel too busy with my other stuff in life to do it right away...) get put into the sink or on the worktop next to it.

He goes to the sink, runs the mug under the tap, then sticks it on my drying rack. It's not clean!! It drives me crazy but I always find it after he's gone, and like I say, somehow I always miss the actual moment. It's one of the struggles I have with issues of maintaining presence of mind when I feel discombobulated. And although in a sense I do enjoy the social visits, they discombobulate me all the same.


Could you put a sign, explaining your system, next to the drying rack? I had a friend who did that. I thought he felt he was being polite by not having me pick up after him.


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BirdInFlight
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30 Oct 2013, 5:53 pm

Putting a sign there is not a bad idea actually. I agree with you, he thinks he's just being helpful and polite by dealing with his mug instead of leaving it sitting around. I wish I could find it in myself just to speak up and say with a smile "Oops lets just put that in the sink for now!" or something.



pama
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09 Nov 2013, 7:21 pm

What is a carer?



MynameisAnna
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09 Nov 2013, 9:28 pm

a girl drinks from my shiny blue cup
with the HP on the front.
I said NO
do not ever
touch my cup
she said sorry
so now
I wrote my name on it
on the front.


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ritualdrama
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09 Nov 2013, 10:41 pm

O..O My acquaintance's girlfriend came to my house to give me something. She picked up my journal and was going to open it but she suddenly gave up and put it down. WTF, who does that s**t? Especially when the book has one of those straps that wraps around the loose ends of the pages to keep the book closed!