Killing all emotion

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How do you kill all emotion, the anger, the pain, the hurt, the envy, as well as the joy, the pleasure, the pride? I would be willing to sell my joy, pleasure, and pride to end my anger, pain, hurt, and envy once and for all.

I want to completely demolish all emotional experiencing.

It simple. You let no one in. You care and have opinion about nothing; and most importantly you have no ideals or values on how you would base right and wrong.

I tried it for a bit when I was 20. It lasted 20 years. Now I regret ever have doing so. Now I am 40. Divorced. alone. I am not allowed to see my children. I work and go home and sit on the internet till nine then I go to bed and start the next day of the same blandness. I have tried to kill my self 3 times and now I just realize I am a coward.

I don't want to live anymore but have no strength to actually kill my self.

Personally if I were you at your age .. I would just experience the emotion and continue on. demolishing all emotional experience would just lead to a life similar to mine.

I tried the whole I-don't-want-to-feel-anything bit once. It sucked royally; I'd rather feel pain and know that I'm still alive than to feel absolutely nothing at all and feel like a total zombie.

That happened to me once as a side effect of trying to control anxiety. I had no problem with it; I just used reason in order to make decisions without having to deal with emotion getting in the way.

Why on earth would you want to do that? Emotions are what I live for. Maybe if I only experienced fear and despair or some such, I'd want to abolish my emotions.
There'd be no purpose to life without emotions.

Ugh. I just made a big mistake. I hate hate hate myself.

I've never drunk regularly before, and only very sparingly, and I've never abused drugs, except when I overdosed in a suicide attempt, but now I'm wondering if I should buy a whole bunch of alcohol and keep smashing myself.

Bah! Alcohol won't help you abolish emotions... It opens you up to emotions and destroys what inhibitions you have already built up to squelch emotions.

I've lived with and without (well, what I call with emotions was either Believing what I felt/observed/wanted to feel to be emotions)
I can tell you it's not better to be without. No matter how much you want to control that roller coaster ride of ups and downs that overwhelm you, and make you want to end it.

The answer is control. With aspergers the ups and downs are magnified (or at least our perspective makes them seem magnified) If we control them, then we can experience them, but only when we want to.

Don't ask me how, that's what I'm working on right now, and I don't think I even have the start of the answer yet.
I lived emotions, and now i live emotionless. I've been alive and dead. I want an on/off switch and I know I will find it. Booze is the ONLY thing that works as such a switch now.. it turns them ON, not off. Weed will turn physical sensation on, but has no effect on emotions per se.

Life is about balance, not extremes. We do have to seek out extremes sometimes to balance out other extremes, but in the end we need to find balance, and it's harder for us....
If the balance we seek were where we sit on a teeter-totter, we are elephants, and the slightest step one way or the other is so magnified that one end will slam into the ground rattling us off the teeter-totter and leaving us in a bruised pile on our butts on the ground.
But what choice do we have but to get back on, and try again to find that balance?

Bah! Alcohol won't help you abolish emotions... It opens you up to emotions and destroys what inhibitions you have already built up to squelch emotions.

I've lived with and without (well, what I call with emotions was either Believing what I felt/observed/wanted to feel to be emotions)
I can tell you it's not better to be without. No matter how much you want to control that roller coaster ride of ups and downs that overwhelm you, and make you want to end it.

The answer is control. With aspergers the ups and downs are magnified (or at least our perspective makes them seem magnified) If we control them, then we can experience them, but only when we want to.

Don't ask me how, that's what I'm working on right now, and I don't think I even have the start of the answer yet.
I lived emotions, and now i live emotionless. I've been alive and dead. I want an on/off switch and I know I will find it. Booze is the ONLY thing that works as such a switch now.. it turns them ON, not off. Weed will turn physical sensation on, but has no effect on emotions per se.

Life is about balance, not extremes. We do have to seek out extremes sometimes to balance out other extremes, but in the end we need to find balance, and it's harder for us....
If the balance we seek were where we sit on a teeter-totter, we are elephants, and the slightest step one way or the other is so magnified that one end will slam into the ground rattling us off the teeter-totter and leaving us in a bruised pile on our butts on the ground.
But what choice do we have but to get back on, and try again to find that balance?

Gotta me a bit careful, getting rid of all emotion can be dangerous.

But believe it or not it comes as time goes. I often find it hard to even show emotion anymore which pains me sometimes, when i know my mother is sad, because i just stand there like a total idiot. Because i dont feel much of anything.

Its not so easy to reverse again, but its hard at first, but as with anything the human body or in this case the mind adapts over time. It protects itself from harmful feelings like those.

Edit:

Hmm can see we are same age. Maybe it doesnt happen to everyone. or is it only recently you have had it like this, Because if you have had it like this for many years 10+ i would have thought it would have happened. but of course as with everything else, not 2 people are the same.

Just never start drinking or some crap, thats not worth it, and will only lead down one path.

I mentally tell myself that emotion clouds judgment. It does. My... emotional self listens to that logic fairly well. Poof, it's gone.

You can't.

Or rather, you can, but it requires traumatic brain injury. And once you experience no emotion you will find it extremely difficult to make even the simplest of decisions. Emotions are a survival trait, and going without them will drastically impair you.

Zen Buddhism, according to some, is intended to help you reach and maintain a sense of equanimity, which my Webster's Collegiate describes as: 1. Evenness of mind, especially under stress.

The way to get to this desirable state of mind is through study and meditation. The idea is to retain this evenness of mind regardless of good or bad perceptions/experiences.

I'm no teacher so I'd suggest hanging out at some Buddhist forums, ask some questions and make up your own mind whether this will wok for you.

Good luck,
denny

You can't actually destroy the potential of emotions unless through physical means which destroys that part of the brain that produces the emotional response.

Perceptive functioning works by a process of association. Our perceived sensory input is associated with a subjective determination, and these are linked together in a manner most relevant to ourselves. While you can't destroy the potential of emotions, you can sever the associations.

The process necessary to sever these associations is extremely painful and damaging. While people generally accept emotions from their subjective experience of them, emotions are an essential element of psychological functioning, together with other elements of the motive system such as physical pain and hunger. I'm doubtful that an adult, especially one who experiences any positive experience, could be capable of achieving a substantial level of disassociation, nor to be functional if they did.

The emotional response alters our perception, provides stimulation and invokes the release of chemicals to deal with the perceived situation. Mediations aimed at altering our behaviour try to effect the chemical state. Some branches of psychology aim at re-associating the perceptions to something more subjectively pleasant. If none of these have worked for you then you may try a spiritual approach. I believe Buddhism is based on detachment from suffering.

If you do try the “Killing all emotions” approach and are successful, understand that you are dead. You are a walking corps that responds only to direct physical sensation, and these are dulled. While you are capable of anything, you will do nothing. Only acting carelessly to the immediate. You will also need a very strong mind to be successful. If you attempt it and are unsuccessful, the result will likely be extremely tormentive.

Keep in mind that I didn't completely kill emotions; it was just that my emotions became very fleeting, only lasting for a split second, and they weren't very strong either. That might have been why I was still able to function.

I'll admit though that before I got used to it, I felt strange and like a zombie.