Moving for academic/professional life

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Who among the young adults here has moved to a different part of the country for college/graduate school/a job? I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who grew up in suburban or rural areas where life was "slower" or at least there were plenty of places to get away from the crowds, and moved to a large metropolitan area. And also, people who moved from the west to the east coast of the U.S. or vice versa.

I am looking to apply to graduate programs soon. So far I have lived my entire life, including college and some failed attempts at graduate school (for social as opposed to academic reasons) in California. I have lived in small towns and a small city, but never in a large city like San Francisco or, even more, Los Angeles , Boston, New York, etc.

Some aspies I've met have said that living in a large metropolitan area was easier because it provided more opportunities for making friends. In my experience, while I have gone to cities for certain social events where I knew people, I've always felt out of place trying to interact with random people there, and the constant contact with people wears me down.

I'm curious how others managed to adjust to a different environment in their day-to-day life.

Wow! Going to graduate school while living in a truck? That sounds awful!

Hello.

Well for a start I would say go for it! Whatever you are feeling nervous about, know that there will be people at hand at the university or out of the university that will probably be able to help you with whatever you are feeling anxious. It is a huge leap living somewhere else but it will feel like you have accomplished something greatly if you do it. Also, if you are very passionate about your subject university will provide you with a fantastic amount of educational resources so you can expand upon your intellectual obsessions to a further degree, which is surely a fantastic thing. Anyway, sorry I am beginning to sound like an idiot.

I am currently studying in London, the biggest or second biggest(I cannot remember) city in the UK and have come from Cornwall, which is tiny rural area in which there are more sheep than people It is extremely desolate and the complete opposite to London. There aren't many people, everyone shops at local shops rather than huge commercialized chains, there is no public transport and the silence is blissful, especially if you have problems with sensory overload. I found moving exceptionally difficult. I could not connect with anyone for the first year, my room got exceptionally messy to the point that I couldn't live there because I was so depressed and could not bring myself to do anything. However, the university have been a big help. There are autistic meeting groups in which other people with aspergers meet up every month or so and it is a fantastic way of making friends with people who suffer from the same condition and think in a similar way. That helped alot and made me feel less nervous. Also at universities, they should have societies that specialize in particular interests so that is great way of making friends. There should be debating societies, feminist societies, marxist societies, knitting societies, poetry and so forth. They are also a great way of meeting people similar.

The university was also fantastic when it came to organization. I have a severe problem with organization and going to university was absolute hell- finding out where my lectures were, when work was in and so forth. Luckily however, a woman meets up with me every week and helps me sort everything out about what I have to do. Such services should be available to you if you have been diagnosed and they can be very helpful. Free counseling should also be available, which I have also found helpful in times of need

The main thing I have found difficult, as I know other people have as well, is the amount of sensory stimulation in the city, which for me can get very overbearing. There is so much noise and you are constantly surrounded by people on their phones, people having business meeting, groups exchanging small talk in coffee houses and this can become almost unbearable to the point that when I go out into central London, I come back and I am in tears for some unknown reason. If you have a nice place to stay though, just stay in there for a while and do not feel obliged to go out into the external world.

Anyway, it is an exciting time and one just has to bear in mind that everyone is nervous when they get to university. People may put on a facade that they are oozing confidence but deep down, every single person will be scared to be there. It is a wonderful time though and I am sure you will meet some fantastic people and learn some great things. Anyway, I hope this rant wasn't too long and pointless. Often what I say is meaningless, so sorry if this post has been slightly moronic

I recently moved from a nice quiet suburb in Phoenix to downtown San Jose... The difference was day and night. The noises, the traffic, the smells... everything was different. When I first got here, I didn't even have a place to live, so I hopped from hotel to hotel based on the lowest rate of the night. I also had no money, so I was living on credit. Talk about scary...

I got lucky and managed to find a place within a few days of moving out here and when I finally got a few boxes unpacked, I collapsed both physically and mentally. I literally hid under my bed with my laptop and my fuzzy blanket for two straight weeks. It took a long time to get used to the changes. I got lucky and had an extremely talkative roommate, which made it hard to just hide all the time. I really think might have helped (despite the aggravation of being interrupted while in my happy place)

I have noticed I am far more... autistic... since I moved. I am far more shy, more sensitive to noise and light, more caught up in my own head... I think this is because it is also the first time I have ever lived on my own. The transition is still quite stressful and I think that might be the cause for my more severe symptoms. After nearly a year, I have started adjusting to the sights, sounds, and smells of my new home, but I still find it difficult to cope sometimes.

I moved to a metropolitan area to go to college. I mistakenly chose to move back home for economic reasons. I have been trying to get back to that city for several years now. I refuse to live any other place than a metropolitan area unless forced to by circumstances. It is my only chance at having a social life. Also, there is anonymity in being part of the crowd. Deviance is tolerated in metropolitan areas. It is not tolerated in rural areas. There are also many, many more support groups and special interest groups and intellectually stimulating things in a metropolitan area. I lived alone when in the city. I asked for a single room from the housing department so I could always go back to my apartment to disconnect from the outside world and recharge.

I am not young, but when I was young I moved from Somers, Montana to Hackensack New Jersey. It was an NT [late husband] who actually gave me some tips for making it easier.

Even NTs' can have problems with sensory overload in a large city, so they tend to make certain accommodations that can also, though that was not their intention, make it easier for autistics as well.

For instance, there are always many small town-like neighborhood shops inside any large city [ the larger the city, the more neighborhood shops.] The very first morning after we arrived in New Jersey, he brought me to a bagel shop. He was going to be starting his job at a trucking company the next day and I was going to take a few weeks to get situated before starting work. He told me to start coming into the bagel shop [alone! yikes!] every morning at the same time and order the same thing. Which I did. Within a week, whenever I walked in, the owner was waiting for me with my coffee and onion bagel with a "schmear." That really comforted me.

Larry also advised me on the wear black and dark sunglasses rule, which keeps unwelcome attention away. And, to really show my age, in Montana I had never even SEEN radios with ear phones before, and it seemed everyone was wearing them. I did too. And in our apartment I wore the same type of ear plugs used in Montana for hunting.

I would have loved an autistic group, Of course there weren't any back then [plus,I had no idea I was autistic] but I would advise you to find one.

I wasn't viewed so odd as I have in other places. I mean, I was considered different, but mostly because I was an unsophisticated young woman from rural Montana. People considered me endearing, and, more than anything acted protective and nurturing of me.

I didn't have to worry too much about how to make conversation because, seriously, there were so many people back east who loved to talk so much that they didn't notice I wasn't looking at them , nor was I getting stressed out from trying to politely take in what they were saying because they were too busy yakking to notice if I was paying attention or not.

I know before we moved there I was beyond terrified. For me the anticipation proved much worse than the reality. It was nice not having to talk to everybody, and when I w craved a little human contact it was nice to have my bagel 'with a schmear" waiting for me.