Social anxiety, Aspergers, and ADHD

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So I'll try to keep this as short as I can (I have a bad habit of typing gigantic walls of text on another site).

Diagnosed with ADHD a year ago, and medicated (Vyvanse). Psychiatrist acknowledged social anxiety but thought it would get better when my ADHD symptoms were lessened.

I haven't gone for diagnosis but about a month ago I discovered I very likely have Aspergers. This just makes so much about my life make sense (not just because of the social anxiety, but that's a big one). I realize two things about everything social - 1) I have no clue. No idea how to be social, make conversation, be around people etc. 2) I also have crippling anxiety around everything social. I don't know which one came first, or which one should be fixed first.

The medication has helped with the ADHD symptoms. I thought that it helped with the social anxiety, but I realize now I just got better at avoiding social situations. I've been forced into a few social situations lately, and it's as bad as it has always been.

How bad? I call it near crippling. I couldn't go to work (or even leave the house) last wednesday because of it. This happens roughly once every one or two months - more often if I'm forced to be in social situations (because of my job). To describe my social situation in one sentence, I'm basically a 35 year old person who never leaves his house other than for work, and has no friends.

I've recently realized that I really don't enjoy being around other people (the anxiety outweighs any enjoyment I get), but I am very lonely.

Going to see the ADHD Psychiatrist on Tuesday for a checkup. I'm going to bring up the social anxiety thing. I'm not sure about bringing up Aspergers, because I feel like she'll think i'm stupid and make fun of me (thanks, social anxiety), or ask me really hard questions about why I think I have Aspergers, that I won't be able to answer. She might just prescribe me medication for the anxiety - do you think that is a good idea / would help ? (with the underlying Aspergers and ADHD)? Or would I be better off just going for therapy for the social anxiety? Is it worth pushing for a second diagnosis? Any suggestions when talking to the psychiatrist? (keeping in mind she's an ADHD expert, not a Aspergers expert)

On medication, any suggestions? Medications it would be good to avoid, medications it might be good to suggest?

If anyone is/has been in a similar situation (with or without the ADHD) do you have any advice you can give me?

Thanks.

the right kind of therapy can be a great help for social anxiety. I used to take meds for it, but now it's gone because I accept that i'm not great in social situations and that folks will have to deal with it. I used to always be late for events to avoid the pre-event small talk. Now i'm on time. I've learned to small talk a bit and ask questions. the best folks support me and the others don't matter.

The odds are that a counselor will be able to appreciate a situation that is a compound of two conditions, but a few seem to resent anything outside their specialty. You can check for open-mindedness. Some don't like suggestions from the patient, but that's the kind to avoid anyway. Try to have a few test scores handy.