whos happy?

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i am. im 25 and have been depressed for most of my life. in the recent years i started trying to get my act together. i started making music and i see a positive future. i have a s**t job atm and work with a bunch of idiots who mess with me a little but it doesnt affect me at all any more. sometimes, esp around females, itll get me down a little. but im pretty good. i see a lot of depression on these forums so im jw whos happy. if you're not happy i hope you can be soon, and you CAN.

<--- Not happy. Probably never will be.

I'm glad you're happy, mentallyskilled. I have been feeling a bit down and despondent lately, but I logically know that I have little actual reason to feel that way. So I often find myself counting my blessings: I am healthy, I have a good set of brains in my skull, I've access to water, heat, and electricity, and I can pursue my interests and ambitions without anyone standing in my way saying I'm not allowed to. And all that has to count for something.

I seem to be happy (or contented) in the last few days...

Oddly the improvement in my mood coincided with my removing gluten and cows dairy from my diet along with processed sugar (all of which was sneaking back in. PN I eat carbs just in veg form usually). Or it could be the new stuff I got for myself ( http://bumblesbasement.blogspot.co.uk/ ), or the getting out and about is doing me good...

Or a combination of things...

I'm not sure I even know what happiness is, at least in the sense that NT people use the word. I guess the closest I've ever come to understanding that was when my daughter was born.

Otherwise, I've known contentment for brief periods, but I don't know if that's the same thing. Maybe it is, I'm just not sure I understand "happiness" as a concept. I know Boredom, Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety, Anguish, Panic and Despair all too well, for me "happiness' is just the absence of any of those.

Strangely, I have had dreams on rare occasions in which I experienced intense, transcendent levels of positive emotion that I have never experienced in real life. Elation, joy, ecstasy, inner peace - states I had only read about before. How wonderful to die in one's sleep during a moment like that and remain forever in that alternate universe.

I'm happy! I work at it every day, using CBT methods, hiking ad working on my hobbies. I try to do one good thing for someone else each day to help with learning empathy.

To be honest, I'm probably a hypocrite. I do have things to be happy about.

I've been labeled as disabled by my state's DSHS which opened up a lot of doors.

A lot of things are being taken care of now so I really need to put on a smiling face and deal with life on life's terms.

I've been feeling very depressed lately, so good for you!

I think I'm as happy as it is possible to be in this imperfect world. What that means is there is very little I would change about my life. I have a good job, a wonderful place to live, interests that I enjoy and profit me greatly, and even a few friends.

I hope everybody here can say as much, at least at some point in their lives.