How to find a good counselor

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Does anyone on here have tips about how to find a good counselor? I have a school counselor, but I am not sure if she would be willing to talk to me about the problems I am having socially in the context of possible Asperger's. I know she would not be willing to make a diagnosis. Of those of you who have found good counselors, any tips? Signs to watch for (positive and negative)? Should I talk to my primary care doctor about pursuing a diagnosis, or about good autism counselors? (She already said to go to counseling for social anxiety issues, but I was too awkward to ask her about my autism suspicions). I am very open to suggestions...

I've found them in odd places, like in the classifieds section of the newsletter for my food co-op or on a recommendation from another counselor who felt like I would benefit more from seeing someone more intelligent than she was, and more knowledgeable about ASD. You might just ask your school counselor if she knows someone who specializes in helping people on the spectrum.

I like establishing what I want to get out of counseling early on. The first session will allow you to get to know each other, but I'd suggest bringing it up early on during the second session if you have one. I like to get practical suggestions, which I then test. I'll pay for a professional adviser, but not for a professional friend.

If it's an Asperger's therapist you want, you can find them from Psychology Today. Here's the link.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/r ... _Therapist

Good counselors are hard to find. Your guidance counselor might know some good ones, though. They should make you feel understood and understandable. And you should feel you matter when you talk to them. And they should bring hope. I think it's a bad sign if they talk about working together to understand, may mean they find you incomprehensible. You should feel clearly from their words and actions that they want to help you grow, try new things. Also, separate from a diagnosis, if you find social interactions confusing, a fair amount of transparency by the counselor is better than too much privacy.

Two essentials:

A good counselor makes you feel safe
A good counselor makes you feel "heard"