Do you feel like you have to settle yourself for less?

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Just to be away from people? I feel this way and was even hired a place at my mother's job working in a rice company stacking bags of rice, thanks to the small group of people there, I didn't have to socialize much because it was physically demanding, but honestly I left after a month because I just couldn't bear the heat, the major sweating, the loud noises of machinery, and some conversations I had to make with the boss. I honestly didn't do much after I graduated from high school. The horror of going to college is just too much to bear. But I'm already making plans to enroll in a nursing school, I know it's going to be challenging, but since life is hard, I just figured I have to suck it up if I want a better future. My mom knows I don't like to socialize, she thinks it's normal and that I need to go out and be with people. I'm still not sure if I have Asperger's or just plain social anxiety, but I just don't know how to connect with people and their intentions, too much information being thrown at me is just too much to bear when it comes to conversations.

Well i have to settle for so little i dont even have a job, im on early retirement thingy.
Kinda hoping to getting a job someday.

its gonna be hard, because you need a education thats a mile long, and places you get educated is full of people crammed into small rooms, with noise and very few teachers. On top of all that which is torture.

Then to get a job with little socialize is near impossible not to mention zero socializing.

And that will continue, as robots and android take over basic work. The only work that is left is stuff where we interact heavily with other people. That will never work for me sadly.

Pretty much the only way to get a job with little or no socializing is pretty much to go and start your own business, something online perhaps. but even then, there is always complaints and stuff.

Not to mention how overcrowded even the internet is, but finding some niche that would pay enough to get food, i would jump at, just to be self serving or whatever you call it when you earn your own money.

This doesnt apply to all however, from what i gather most people in here is on the high functional end, being able to have job educating and so forth. Im definitely on the low functional end. But im guessing it has to do with also having more than one diagnosis, not just aspergers.

Either way be it aspergers or social anxeity forcing it only makes it worse, at least it did for me, i kept getting told, your lazy, your not trying hard enough, it will get better with time. Well i tried for 8 years where i had worked at a slaugter house, pretty much only working go home sleep, finally after 8 years of that my mind almost broke, to the point i would just sit in a chair and drool.

If you wanna improve its gonna be at your own pace. never get people push you, its just not worth the risk. But yeah i believe we do have to settle for less. and i dont really personally have a problem with that. Because its not really funny not having a job, a job gives some form of value in ones life, at least it did for me. But going crazy isnt exactly worth it. lol.

You should definitely try and get tested, i know for me, that it didn change much getting the name, but it was nice to know what it is that was wrong with me, finally being able to understand it, not because i go around telling people yo i have aspergers, autism and tourette.. But its nice to have a name and accepting it. for me it was hard to accept being handicapped and different, but i always knew i was the odd ball, just didn know why. and its better to have a name of a diagnosis, than to think maybe i am just lazy and dont try hard enough, because that leads to depressions or worse.

Whatever you do, just to it for yourself at your own pace. I dont think i could ever get back in a class room again, i imagine how people have it in prison, thats what i remember from my time in school, being stuck in a tiny room, full of noisy people 20-24 kids 1-2 teachers. It was madness. at least in a prison cell your alone. I dont even grasp how people can learn in such an environment, i found it hard to stay sane.

The only thing i ever looked at in jobs back then was how little interaction is there with other people, i didn care about anything else, not even salary. Going with papers was pretty self contained job, sadly i wouldn be able to earn enough, unless i had like 30 routes., think my 1 route , that went out to 400 people with commercials 2 or 3 times each week, payed like 100$ a month or so.

I had a nursing license - have to give it up because I really can't handle the job. I was top of my class, too.
I have no options, so I'm going to start posing nude for a local artist - likely to be more pornograhic than "art."

I used to feel like I had to settle for less. For most of my life I've felt that way, to be honest.. and I did settle for less, or even intentionally seek out less because I felt worthless.

But now? Not so much. I feel much better. I have a far better sense of self worth & confidence. I'm working hard to continue improving myself and my career/finances. I'm working full time + OT and saving as much money as I can towards future financial and entrepreneurial goals. I feel like I deserve more & better for the first time in my life - but not that it should come easy or quick - and am working as hard as I can to make my dreams and goals the reality of my life. Sure, it's going to take years of hard work to get from where I am to where I want to be, but so be it, I deserve the rewards for doing the hard work and taking the risks.

Make this your theme song:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Dmilr2T10[/youtube]

Yes. I have a job that is far below my capabilities. Because of my extremely poor people skills (plus extreme indecisiveness, which I believe is also ASD-related and is also caused by social anxiety) I don't stand a chance at most jobs. For some unknown reasons people show open hostility towards me or they just shun me at work or anywhere else. Just being around people stresses me out because wherever I go I can sense their dislike of me in the air. I tried hard to be nice in the past but it never worked. I have given up. I can't see any way I can overcome that barrier. So I just have to be happy with what I have now. I'm still seeing if there's any way I can fully utilize my abilities without worrying about people around me. I'm hoping disability employment agencies might be able to help me.

I think nursing is a very stressful field. You will probably have lots of interactions with bad-tempered people and angry co-workers. I don't want to discourage you but if you think you have a disadvantage in interacting with people, then it could be even harder for you than for others. It's good to be positive and try to overcome your difficulties but is it really realistic to try that? I think there are other fields that are equally rewarding but less intense socially.

I couldn't agree more - even for NT's, it's an incredibly difficult field tp work in. I naively believed I could be successful becase I'm intelligent, conscientous and a very hard worker. Those qualities weren't nearly enough. In fact (and I mean no disrespect to all the great nurses out there, I'm just speaking from my own experience), I've noticed that the most successful nurses aren't particularly bright OR honest. Most of my former classmates have wonderful jobs - but a lot of them came close to failing nursing school...some more than once. Attention and focus is a huge part of the job - documentation is critical to patient safety and, ultimately, keeping your license. Plus you do really have to be a schmoozer, not just with your co workers but with families, patients and administrators.
Please think carefully before you decide to go into nursing. If you like science, there are other jobs you can train to do.

Yes, I do feel like that. My education is below my (supposed) intelligence level but I'm okay with it because I'm not unhappy and if it'd be more difficult and more work, I'd be stressed out and I don't think I'd make it. Maybe I'll continue on a higher level after I finished college, but that's still some time ahead. Besides, it isn't about proving intelligence (for me, that is) but about finding an acceptable and hopefully low stress way of earning an income.

Sometimes I do get a bit frustrated because I feel so many things are full of bullpoo but I accept it and go along with it as I'm forced to do so.

What I find troubling however is how some people want to force their career/success obsession on me. I'm not very ambitious in the career field and just want to be happy and relaxed.

[quote="YourMajesty, it isn't about proving intelligence (for me, that is) but about finding an acceptable and hopefully low stress way of earning an income.
What I find troubling however is how some people want to force their career/success obsession on me. I'm not very ambitious in the career field and just want to be happy and relaxed.[/quote]

I was really in a state for a while. Not just about the nursing, which I've accepted is over. I realized recently that I don't have a reason to be so unhappy about my situation. I get some child support (enough to cover basic expenses), very little debt and I get to stay home and do pretty much what I want. My poor boyfriend drives 45 minutes each way; he leaves before 6 am. Today the wind chill is around -25 He's sick, but refuses to miss work. I also get to be with my children in the mornings, help them get ready for school and pick them up in the afternoon. Last winter I was still in nursing - I left home at 6 in the morning and sometimes didn't get home until 5. Both my children suffered from that, but it was especially difficult for my son, being only 9 years old and full of anxiety, even at the best of times. I got in trouble at work becaus he called me mutliple times every morning. Poor little guy

Oh, yes...I'm always willing to go last, take the least amount of everything, or whatever scraps are left over if it means everyone else is happy.

That's what I'm aiming for and as much as I want to become a nurse, at least be a medical assistant, I know I'm going to have to deal with social interaction and probably be yelled at for not doing something right, which only leads to a meltdown as I can't stand yelling, it puts me in a panicky mood and I don't know what to do, I usually end up disliking the person for doing so even if I know it's a job that requires good order. But thank you for your advice, it was helpful.

I agree on being in a class full of students crammed up close to your space. I don't know how I managed to get through high school, but I did and am proud. My school years were terrible even if I did have my fun moments, but I always kept to myself, never called anyone, could never keep friends, spent more time at the library during lunch, and only had one friend, which unfortunately ended got pregant and dropped out. From there on, I only kept to myself. I will go get a diagnosis sooner or later, when the right time comes so that I can finally know what could be the name of my condition. I do suspect I have AS along with some other things.

That's what I believe life should be about, being happy and being comfortable in where you are even if it can get stressful. Everyone has the right to be live their lives however they want. There are high school people who manage to make it far in life with no college degree and are happy. Though college is important for a better future, I believe it's just one of the ways to succeed since there are different ways. The problem is, though I'm an adult, my mom sees me as a child who should go aiming for a bigger success and am trying to work on that.

She believes I'm just being lazy. Other people will never understand what goes around in our minds. My biggest flaw is socializing with people, not knowing the right words to say, I do say things that are inappropriate when I believe them to be appropriate, and I don't show much emotion, I only act and go with the flow if someone wants to make small talk or engage in a conversation unless they come up with one of the topics I'm knowledgeable about, other than that, I just stay quiet.

As much as I want to do it, another part of me refuses to accomplish it out of the "dangers of socializing," but thank you for your honest answer. Even when I turn on my positive mind, other people ruin it for me, especially if I take all their words threatening when they weren't trying to be mean at all. I don't want to return back to those exhausting situations I suffered throughout my school years. I'm going to have to change my mind and look for other fields that are rewarding. It's a bad thing I come from a family that expects more from me.