I have a question about going out please...

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Ok I am back to considering whether or not I might have an ASD and was wondering the following.

Do many aspies like to go out and about or do you prefer to stay in the house?

See I like going out. I don't always interact with people but I like to be out and about all the same. I get bored sitting in doors all day. I like going out to the gym, riding buses, visiting the coast, going swimming, hiking in the countryside and I even like riding roller coasters if there is a theme part nearby as well (although i prefer to off peak..too many people for me otherwise).

I have no problem being around other humans provided it is not too crowded, I just either don't want to interact with them or don't know how. I am most certainly not agoraphobic or too shy to leave the house.

This makes me think I don't have an ASD, especially as most apsies I have spoken to prefer to stay indoors.

Can you have an ASD and still like going out a lot?

I'd say yes.

If you have Aspergers you have the mind of a cat - cats like hunting, etc. too. What really matters is how much you like to/are capable of engaging in typical NT social interaction, because that's the kind of social interaction that is needed everywhere at jobs, among friends, at parties etc. etc.

<--- Prefers to stay indoors.

I get bored indoors sometimes; it depends what I'm doing. If I'm engrossed with a programming project I can spend the entire day for several weeks sitting at my computer. Otherwise I'm happy going outside and pottering around in my garden provided the weather is reasonable. I'm happy wandering around town or in the countryside too, provided there aren't a lot of people. I don't like to interact with others if possible. Interaction wears me out very quickly and the desire to return home or be on my own becomes overwhelming. I wish there were some roller-coasters around here! Nothing so exciting in the depths of rural France.

Bumble, if I recall, you are British. What I'm getting at is that I think living quarters over there tend to be smaller than in the US, and are more likely not to have yards. While I haven't been to England in years, when I was there, it was very common for people to visit, smoke, and drink in the pubs, and I was told cramped living quarters was a big part of the reason why.

While I much prefer not to go out, during the times when I have lived in an apartment, it just got to be too much, and I had to get out for my sanity. Now that I have a huge place, I would be happy to leave it only rarely.

Anyway, I'm not sure this applies to you; it's just a thought.

if u have aspergers you're probably used to watching life pass you by. it can lead to wanting to be out and about to see what you're missing. i did a fair amount of traveling when i was younger, i couldnt wait to leave the area i live in when i was growing up.

just as u say not so much with the interacting of people.

i would do more things like going to the cinema alone if i didnt feel so out of place.

the best way to think of aspies is that they develop independently and in so doing become unique. Very few aspies are alike even if there are common shared themes.

which makes sense because its nts that like to follow other nts, where aspies like to do their own thing.

A possible diagnostic signifier that occurs to me, reading your post, is how do you react when the stereotypical little old lady sits next to you on the bus and engages you in random chit chat? Gym chit chat, I imagine, is OK cos it's context specific...
I dislike bus and train travel cos of "little old lady syndrome", though of late have learnt to hide behind my mp3 player.

I love the silence and expansiveness of the sea, but find crowded proms and beaches really difficult - it's as if people's minds make a noise that affects me. Which is why i think i am a night owl - when others are asleep they make less "noise", so I can relax.

I love my local 3000' hill but prefer it quiet, and have been known to skulk outside the summit hut in foul weather so as to avoid having to say hello to anyone.

Indoors or outdoors is probably largely irrelevant; what's relevant is the strength of your social phobias and the extent to which they constitute a handicap.

I live in a country where houses in general aren't that big, especially in the larger cities (I used to live in Amsterdam, which is well known for its small, cramped houses). My own experience is that when you're autistic, it doesn't really matter if the indoors space available to you is 60 square meters or 30 square meters or 12 square meters. If you have your own stuff inside that's important to you, you're perfectly okay with staying inside, sometimes even for days as long as you get food. At least, that's my experience. I remember hearing a lot of people say "I really need to get out of the house sometimes, you know? Catch some fresh air, it gets so cramped sometimes," and me having no clue what they were on about. Give me paper and colouring pencils, and I'll be fine, save from the big bad outside world, is what I used to feel.

In later years, I've grown a far bit more outgoing, though I would never go as far as characterising myself as outgoing per se.

bumble,
everyone on the spectrum in its full self are different.
what makes aspies or auties not go out is often due to being introverted as well but there are a lot of extroverted spectrumers around.

just get a referal on the nhs for a asd specialist that will be more of a support than asking wrong planet as the site isnt a fair view of
autism.

I've only been to the Netherlands twice (Amsterdam and Rotterdam). I found both cities to be very picturesque, but also very crowded. (It is also the case that the only time I slept in a building over there was when I was partying with a bunch of junkie squatters; I wandered off from the group and passed out in a big trash pile where luckily they couldn't find me; my shipmate was robbed.)

I'm not sure if I'm more agoraphobic or claustrophobic. I don't like being in tiny, enclosed spaces, but I have little desire to leave my ranch either, even though I do have to go to work every day. I also find that as I get older, I'm getting generally happier, but also less tolerant of the physical presence of others. When I'm commuting, I find myself getting tense if I can see more than two other vehicles on the road in any direction. And if somebody is following behind me, it makes me uncomfortable. It's not that I'm worried they will do anything to me; I'm simply happiest when I have nobody else within miles of me.

As much as I like Europe and Europeans, I'm glad I don't have to live some place that crowded.

I definitely prefer to stay at home. Everything I like doing is here. My books, my computer, my video games, TV.

That said, I have no problems with public transport, stores or crowds. I don't get overwhelmed by it, or if I am affected then it's over the moment I'm out of there.
I'm not too shy to leave my home. But I never feel like it. I'm not bored at home and I don't get any feeling of being couped up from it like some do.

My therapist picked up on possible autism by my description of what I've thought of as agoraphobic symptoms.

He said my description of how it feels when I go out, and how I feel when finally I'm back home sound like what his autistic patients have said to him.

He never said he suspected Asperger's, just autism, but I've had no language loss/delay in my history. Still, with the variations possible on the spectrum (and the fact we hear about autistic kids wandering and getting lost), I'd say someone can be autistic, even an Aspie, and not have the agoraphobic type leaning. Just so long as they can take in what they want to, and not have to deal with stuff (or with people) they don't want to.

If someone with more knowledge needs to correct me, please do so.

Oh, PLEASE save me from friendly strangers in public situations who want to chat. I hate the idea of hurting someone's feelings, but that is the LAST thing I need in a public situation.

Another arrow pointing in a certain direction...

Last edited by Sethno on 27 Nov 2013, 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I love being outdoors but it always comes with a price of danger of people approaching me for a conversation. I can pretend to be sociable but it really stresses me out.

Someone on the forum made a description of going to work that really struck a cord with me: The whole day at work is marked by stress of not knowing what people I will encounter and what will they 'do to me'. It sounds very dramatic but for example I've had to ask people repeatedly not to sit with me at lunch because I can't cope with eating in company unless I've agreed to go to a restaurant and have psychologically prepared myself. I can listen to other people talking, as long as they don't pay me any attention, but people like to include you to be polite which is nightmare for me when I don't want to be included. Or just being stopped by someone in the corridor with a question or just them wanting to chat - I can do this very proficiently, but inside it's Always stressful. Even when it's people I like and want to chat to.

Now, I don't have a diagnosis, so not sure if this will help you any, but for me this part of my life (people-stress) and severe sensory issues is the main reason why I believe I'm on the spectrum.

I'm a poster boy for AS and I am nothing like a filthy, snotty cat. I despise fish and have never, ever destroyed furniture out of simple boredom


@Bumble: I can't speak to whether or not you qualify as ASD one way or the other, but though I stay at home far more than is healthy for me, it's not because I have an issue with going out of the house, or being around other humans.

It's because I relate so poorly to other individuals and have no particular method of being thrown together with them at the moment, so I have no friends and no way of meeting any, therefore I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. There are things I'd love to go out and do - I haven't been bowling in years and I quite enjoy that - but I have no one to do them with.

I'd really like to be working tattooing, but the NT universe has conspired against me, so I'm stuck indoors with nothing to do.

I'm not fond of crowds, but as long as I'm not required to interact with them, I can pass through them in a bubble of solitude.

I'm not entirely sure you know what a cat is.

Oh bumble you're still trying to judge yourself by stereotypical ideas of what it's like to have AS.

I have AS, and I enjoy getting out and about, listening to the birds sing, watching the passing of the seasons, standing and looking into a nearby river.

I also like travelling, and since my local London authority considers me eligible for a Freedom Pass, I get around a lot on public transport and enjoy exploring the city that way.

As I've said to you before: "If you've met one autistic person, all you can say is that you've met one autistic person."

While we do tend to have similarities (some of which are diagnostics) that doesn't mean we all have the same personality.