going to a party, what do i do?

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i dont like parties, but i haven't been in a social group of any kind since Autism camp, and these people are all neurotypicals. I want to go to get my mind of my hedgehog who is dying but i also don't want to go because is very 'sensory stressful' and i know i will shut down. do i interact? or do i wait for someone to interact with me? if someone wants to talk to me, what am i suppose to talk about, the party is tomorrow night. i'm quite anxious and don't know what to do.

I wouldn't go, but that's just me. I'm not recommending you whether to go or not I'm just telling you what I would have done.

Back in High school, I went to maybe... two parties? And I was only there to make an appearance, have a dance or two with some female friends, eat some food and then slip out the backdoor.

I always help the host/hostess with food. That way not only I'm considered pleasant, I also don't have to talk to the other guests. There's so much to do preparing and serving food and drinks, refilling them, cleaning up. You can even offer to take care of the food serving so the hostess can go chat more. All you have to say during the entire night is "Can I help?" "Oh OK, that one, yes, oh, OK, yup...etc." Or I just hang around the food all the time pigging out. Food is my party focus.

Get drunk
Stay in the kitchen
Play with the kids
Leave early

Option A) Don't eat or perform your ablutions before the party. Arrive late, eat slowly and perform your ablutions. Spend about 5 to 10 minutes in the kitchen between activities, or wander from place to place like you have a purpose. This way you only need to nod or say “Hi” to people as you pass. When you've got nothing else to do, explain that you have to get up early the next day and leave early.

Option B) Eat well and perform all your ablutions before you go. Arrive early, before most people. Select the quietest, most isolated spot in the place, and set yourself up. Sit there and get into your head with something interesting. If anyone looks at you just act like you're tried, drunk or similar. When everyone else has gone, casually walk out thanking the host on the way.

Option C) Put a peg on your nose and ring up a few hours before the party. Express your sorrow and disappointment, but you've come down ill and can't make it. Then spend the time doing something interesting and more meaningful.

Option D) Go to the party when you like, Leave when you like. Take breaks by going into a quite room or a wander outside when you feel overwhelmed. If you don't know what to say to someone, just smile and nod. Talk about what you want to talk about. If people respond well, good. If people don't respond well, good. If you really don't enjoy it, next time select A, B or C.

Really, if you want to get your mind off your sorrows at home, you could go to a movie, museum, library or a coffee with friend or family. Rather than an activity akin to stabbing yourself in the eye with an ice pick.