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(Asperger's/HFA)... Are we "creeps"???

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ThomasL
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05 Dec 2013, 3:09 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
bleh12345 wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEikGKDVsCc

So, I'm a female. People think I'm creepy sometimes. It's happened all throughout my childhood, too. However, sometimes I'm grateful I'm not in a male body. I often stare, especially at children. I like children because their directness is funny to me. It also reminds me of when I was a child. If I was a male, you better believe people would think I'm creepy. This is unfortunate.

I've liked people before. My potential mates would find me creepy. *sigh*... Trust me, it's not just males. :cry: I think people fear others who act very peculiar to them. This then causes them to call you creepy, even though you are trying to be nice.

Ugh. Yes, I tend to stare at children, especially babies and I'm a tall, introverted, lonely male to boot. :roll: There are three reasons: 1) Babies and Toddlers tend to stare at me and go wild with excitement when they see me 2) Children are so pure and innocent it's like watching a beautiful waterfall or sunset and I love how direct and honest they are just like me and 3) I'm a highly visual person to the point I don't know how anyone who is blind can function at all. I was once watching some kids at a playground while I was waiting for my softball game (as it reminded me of how happy my early childhood was and brought back those pleasant memories) and someone quickly informed me to stop doing that before the police show up.

I rarely if ever have problems with mothers thinking I'm creepy (mothers seem to universally love me) but more than one father has given me a dirty look. If you are tall, you are always assumed to be dangerous even though I literally wouldn't harm a spider. It's like a previous thread where some young woman told me I look like a serial killer. How the heck would they know what a serial killer looks like? That's the whole reason they ARE serial killers: because they blend in so well and the law has such a hard time identifying them.

Schneekugel wrote:
Its pretty comparable with really drunk people, that make you aware, that their behavior cant be predicted anymore. If its about slender 14 year old drunk teenies, you wont feel bothered that much, while when its about drunken professional wrestlers, you will take care to have distance to them. ^^

How ironic that I would lay that charge against NTs, especially females. If anything my behavior is so predictable that a contract killer would offer a 50% discount because I would be such an easy target. My schedule and behaviour is *highly* predictable like most Aspies.


Oh my god - this too! I can't believe how much all these answers are resonating with me!



ThomasL
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05 Dec 2013, 3:22 am

League_Girl wrote:
Here is what I have perceived as creepy.

You're some random person and I don't even know you or we have just met and you're doing these things:
Patting my butt
Putting your hand on me and rubbing me
Making funny sounds at me
Excessive swearing
Telling me you want to go inside me and lick me down there and have sex
Wanting me to rub you down there
Already asking me about sex when we had just met
Getting mad and using threats
Talking to yourself and you're not even on the phone
Being overly friendly (yeah this is something people do as a way to manipulate you to make you comfortable with them so they can get something from you so creepy behavior)


I hope this helps. I have never met an aspie that acted creepy nor acted this way except for asking me about the sex part.


Ah, well thank god I don't do any of that stuff! I've never been so bold like any of that - more like meek and polite, although yeah, I can get angry/frustrated, but don't lose control or use threats, etc. I think that sounds like sociopath/psychopath behavior, not Aspie behavior. I suspect that most people would call that "obnoxious" behavior, and not "creepy" - which I think is much, MUCH more subtle?



ThomasL
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05 Dec 2013, 3:27 am

League_Girl wrote:
You don't find anything creepy about a stranger telling you he wants to lick you and go inside you and have sex? 8O

Also some guy got mad at the train stop because no one had a cell phone on them for him to use to call his girlfriend so he started saying how the world will blow up on us all day and he will live. To me that was creepy behavior but I could tell no one took him seriously because they were laughing and even I thought it was funny because it was so pathetic. Also some other man threatening to kill himself if he doesn't get food because no one had money to give him. Then finally some teen gave him money and he stopped and seemed all better and normal again like nothing happened. My mom, husband and someone online told me it was manipulation. Also I noticed he never got off the train to get food nor went inside the airport for food once we arrived there and he was with his other buddies and went to the smoking area instead. All that was scary stuff to me. I also find it creepy when a stranger walks up to me and starts talking about their issues and drama. For some reason it makes me uncomfortable and I am too afraid to tell them I don't want to talk because I don't know what kind of people they are and if they will get mad or not or hurt me.


No, I don't do any of that either. :) I would say that is crazy behavior, and scary, much more so than "creepy"... if my sense of what "creepy" means is developing properly? I imagine there is some overlap, but everything you've described goes way beyond creepy, I'm guessing?



ThomasL
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05 Dec 2013, 3:29 am

em_tsuj wrote:
I am constantly paranoid about creeping people out. I think it has to do with body language. People have a visceral emotional reaction to some of the things we do (like staring, or invading body space, or avoid eye contact, or not smiling, or being non-verbal).


Yes - exactly! I've gotten more and more paranoid about this too, as I've gotten older. I think people can accept introverted, creepy behavior more in younger guys... but middle aged guys exhibiting the same behavior scare people more?



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05 Dec 2013, 3:37 am

From Google after typing in the word:

Quote:
creep·y
ˈkrēpē/
adjective
informal
adjective: creepy; comparative adjective: creepier; superlative adjective: creepiest

1.
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
"the creepy feelings one often gets in a strange house"
synonyms: frightening, eerie, disturbing, sinister, weird, hair-raising, menacing, threatening, eldritch; More
informalspooky, scary, freaky
"the old apple trees look creepy in the dim



I think that words fits what I wrote in this thread about creepy behavior.


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ThomasL
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05 Dec 2013, 3:55 am

League_Girl wrote:
From Google after typing in the word:

Quote:
creep·y
ˈkrēpē/
adjective
informal
adjective: creepy; comparative adjective: creepier; superlative adjective: creepiest

1.
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
"the creepy feelings one often gets in a strange house"
synonyms: frightening, eerie, disturbing, sinister, weird, hair-raising, menacing, threatening, eldritch; More
informalspooky, scary, freaky
"the old apple trees look creepy in the dim



I think that words fits what I wrote in this thread about creepy behavior.


Hmm... yes, I agree, and thanks for that. I guess what I'm thinking is that even much more subtle "misbehavior" (such that I apparently exhibit) also causes the same unease and fear in people as the much more blatant behavior you listed. Does that make sense?



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05 Dec 2013, 4:13 am

Even slight facial expressions or light laughter can end up giving you that label. It's true; even if you dress "normal", you could still be labeled.

Some examples of what lead people to label me as creepy:
-Talking too much
-Being too direct
-Asking personal questions to strangers
-Being too verbally sexual (I'm like this when nervous)
-Staring at people or their body in a non sexual way (For example, if I like their clothing)
-Laughing too loud
-Asking odd/weird questions to gauge people's responses (To help judge their character)
-Saying "Do you want to be my best friend?"
-Acting a bit childish for my age
-Attempting to know as much information as possible about potential mates/friends
-Calling/texting people too much
-Always talking about dark feelings/depression
-Talking to children (like having a conversation)
-Telling people all about my horrible day/thoughts if they ask "How are you?" (One time, I was talking about remembering being molested because someone insisted I tell them why I'm sad.)
-Talking too much about a new friend (I could go on for hours because I'm so excited)

In all of those scenarios, I have no ill intentions. I understand how it's hard for people to know that, though. If a stranger comes up to you, you have no idea if they are on the spectrum, have mental health problems, or are trying to groom you in order to assault you. I hate to relate all of those, but it's true. I've known a few people who I tried to brush off as just having problems, only to have them try to assault me. Sometimes, it's really hard for others to tell.



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05 Dec 2013, 4:19 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Ugh. Yes, I tend to stare at children, especially babies and I'm a tall, introverted, lonely male to boot. :roll: There are three reasons: 1) Babies and Toddlers tend to stare at me and go wild with excitement when they see me 2) Children are so pure and innocent it's like watching a beautiful waterfall or sunset and I love how direct and honest they are just like me and 3) I'm a highly visual person to the point I don't know how anyone who is blind can function at all. I was once watching some kids at a playground while I was waiting for my softball game (as it reminded me of how happy my early childhood was and brought back those pleasant memories) and someone quickly informed me to stop doing that before the police show up.

I rarely if ever have problems with mothers thinking I'm creepy (mothers seem to universally love me) but more than one father has given me a dirty look. If you are tall, you are always assumed to be dangerous even though I literally wouldn't harm a spider. It's like a previous thread where some young woman told me I look like a serial killer. How the heck would they know what a serial killer looks like? That's the whole reason they ARE serial killers: because they blend in so well and the law has such a hard time identifying them.


I'm so glad mothers don't have problems with you. You must appear gentle to them :) I have no idea what those fathers' problems are. It's quite odd, if you think about it in relation to gender. Women seem more likely to misjudge a male for being a pedophile, not a male! I can't believe someone said you look like a serial killer. I would further question what *exactly* a serial killer looks like! They do tend to blend in, especially the ones who aren't caught for a while. They are very charming.

Babies also tend to get excited near me. I had one the other day who was maybe 13 months old. He was trying his hardest to stand up and follow me. Then he resorted to crawling. His parents noticed him and had to run to catch him, because he was determined. :lol:



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05 Dec 2013, 4:28 am

I've had people tell me things I do that are creepy. I have no idea what I do wrong though. One thing I've had an epithany of is when I suspect someone is paranoid of me I directly state that I am not doing what they think I am when they may have not even been thinking that and then because of my statements they think I am doing what I said Im not.

On the other hand nobody ever seems creepy to me. I don't notice odd behavior in others usually.



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05 Dec 2013, 1:26 pm

bleh12345 wrote:
Even slight facial expressions or light laughter can end up giving you that label. It's true; even if you dress "normal", you could still be labeled.

Some examples of what lead people to label me as creepy:
-Talking too much
-Being too direct
-Asking personal questions to strangers
-Being too verbally sexual (I'm like this when nervous)
-Staring at people or their body in a non sexual way (For example, if I like their clothing)
-Laughing too loud
-Asking odd/weird questions to gauge people's responses (To help judge their character)
-Saying "Do you want to be my best friend?"
-Acting a bit childish for my age
-Attempting to know as much information as possible about potential mates/friends
-Calling/texting people too much
-Always talking about dark feelings/depression
-Talking to children (like having a conversation)
-Telling people all about my horrible day/thoughts if they ask "How are you?" (One time, I was talking about remembering being molested because someone insisted I tell them why I'm sad.)
-Talking too much about a new friend (I could go on for hours because I'm so excited)

In all of those scenarios, I have no ill intentions. I understand how it's hard for people to know that, though. If a stranger comes up to you, you have no idea if they are on the spectrum, have mental health problems, or are trying to groom you in order to assault you. I hate to relate all of those, but it's true. I've known a few people who I tried to brush off as just having problems, only to have them try to assault me. Sometimes, it's really hard for others to tell.


I do those same things. I learn through broken relationships.



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05 Dec 2013, 2:49 pm

ThomasL wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
From Google after typing in the word:

Quote:
creep·y
ˈkrēpē/
adjective
informal
adjective: creepy; comparative adjective: creepier; superlative adjective: creepiest

1.
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
"the creepy feelings one often gets in a strange house"
synonyms: frightening, eerie, disturbing, sinister, weird, hair-raising, menacing, threatening, eldritch; More
informalspooky, scary, freaky
"the old apple trees look creepy in the dim



I think that words fits what I wrote in this thread about creepy behavior.


Hmm... yes, I agree, and thanks for that. I guess what I'm thinking is that even much more subtle "misbehavior" (such that I apparently exhibit) also causes the same unease and fear in people as the much more blatant behavior you listed. Does that make sense?


Yes.
I realize anything can be creepy. It's all about a feeling people have. Some might find something creepy and others may not find it creepy. I think it's caused by lack of understanding of a situation. You don't know the person so you don't know if they are autistic or harmless or if they won't pull out a gun or knife or start attacking.


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05 Dec 2013, 5:01 pm

Heck no!! !


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05 Dec 2013, 5:09 pm

I'm pretty creepy!:D


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05 Dec 2013, 6:53 pm

creepy is my middle name :mrgreen:



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05 Dec 2013, 10:44 pm

Yeah



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05 Dec 2013, 11:08 pm

My wife's friend told my wife she saw me in public, my wife asked her why didn't you say hi to him.

She said I am creepy and scare her, she thinks I am a serial killer because no one can be as CALM and NICE as I am all the time.

:( Talk about can't win for losing.

One time a woman working as an immigration clerk asked my wife if I was holding her hostage or something(to set the scene I was wearing my son on a papoose baby holder, standard issue for abusive husbands right) and my wife said wtf of course not. Then the woman asked her if I was abusing her or forcing her to file for permanent residency for me, my wife said NO WTF?! Then the woman said ok sorry to upset you but he is so strange and you look angry, and my wife said that is because I hate wasting time here and hate immigration agents like you. Then the woman acted all offended and never dealt or talked to either of us again.

My wife is kind of socially clueless too the more I think about it.