This kind of rolls into unspoken rules but basically I have trouble with my inner definitions not matching most peoples, like say for example.(the following is totally fictional and just for illustrative purposes).
Say I had a frantic phone call from my sister(who is a hooker) that she is being attacked by a customer. I rush to the location only to find her in a clients house being attacked. I get her out of there defending her and call police.
Now in my mind I think they will see a regular guy who saved his sister(who commits minor crimes) from possible rape or murder, and I will be in the right.
Instead they slap cuffs on me, tell me I'm obviously a pimp exploiting my drug addicted sister(they find a joint in her purse) for profit, forcing her to gave sex with sheevy clients. Oh and by the way the guy you two criminals tried to rob is a fine upstanding citizen, he told us the true story!
At this point I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and betrayed angry and misunderstood I can't even respond and just go mute.
This is fictional but crap like this has been happening to me since elementary school, it has made me terrified of all contact with authority. I often quip I could be so grossly misunderstood by the police before I know it they would deport me to Nigeria or something, and I'd be so shocked I couldn't put up a good verbal defense.
I know the problem seems to be my internal definitions and self image, it makes me misjudge how other people will see me and my situation.
05 Dec 2013, 11:30 pm
