isolation

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How do people deal with isolation and feeling like no one cares about them (except, maybe, their parents)?

I have a hard time with feelings of isolation. My Asperger's makes me feel like I can't enjoy life because of the mood swings, anxiety, sensory issues, shyness and stress what ruin my time and other people's time. Sometimes I feel like I might as well just wait to die like an invalid. I've got a long wait yet, as I'm only 23 and I should be out having fun. f**k Asperger's, it ruins everything.

My family are going to the USA next year and I'm not even going to get to go on any vacation at all. I would go with them but I don't think it's for a stressy person like me. They're going on a coach tour type of vacation for 2 weeks, but the whole vacation is just going to be about noise and socialising, which is not my thing. Well, I like it to an extent but not that much. Plus the plane ride is, like, 10-11 hours and the jet lag will just throw me back and cause mood swings. I do get very irritable when tired and hungry, which will spoil their time. I know I can eat and sleep on the plane but I can't sleep properly sitting upright in a seat. I know that flying for more than 6 or 7 hours will be too unbearable for me, so it's safer if I just don't go. So that's one thing that makes me feel isolated.

All my cousins around me are succeeding. For a start they're all NTs. One of my teenage cousins has fallen in love and is thinking about saving up together and moving away. My other cousin is 2 years younger than me and hasn't got a boyfriend but is very popular and has loads of friends, a well-paid job and a car. My other cousin is only 14 but has a group of mates and will get a girlfriend soon because he's already out and about and is tall and handsome and has some confidence. And who am I? A loser with no confidence. I only get married men after me, which makes me feel worse because I want them so badly but can't have them because they're with stupid wives. I have joined social groups to try to make friends but it hasn't worked, I'm too shy and boring. My life is going nowhere, and having all these people around me succeeding just makes me feel even worse. Plus I'm so bored and miserable in my job, which is low-paid and stressful, but can't get another job because of my stupid sh***y Asperger's and too many people in this country from foreign countries what also need to be housed and jobbed, and we have got such a f*****g useless government running this country.......

Sorry, rant going on for too long. It's never raining, it's always pouring for me.

A mental health professional told me a couple years ago about clinical studies showing that Psilocybin was effective in eliminating symptoms of chronic depression for up to 2 years after ingestion, by repairing damaged neural pathways. This was interesting, but did not particularly surprise me, as that was precisely the experience I had in the 1980s. I would certainly do it again if I had access to the stuff.


>>NPR: Your Brain on Psilocybin May be Less Depressed<< LINK

I go out a lot. I either spend my time wandering around museums, riding the bus between my nearest city and various areas of the Norfolk coast, take photos of the coast, sit in cafes drinking coffee and eating home made fridge cake (trying to find a paleo version) or I post on here. I also go to the gym and old people talk to me at bus stops.

That just about covers it.

Alternatively I ponder what life would be like during the paleolithic. What would our ancestors have done...I am very much in to our ancestors diet right now, what about other aspects of their lives.

Occasionally I wonder around to find things to sketch as I am learning to draw as well.

I keep busy basically.

Stuck in today though, no buses where I live on a sunday.

I live a pretty isolated life. I have no family or friends around. It's just me, which is pretty scary when you think about it.

I wake up, go on the computer, watch a little TV, cook food, clean up the apartment, pick up my mail.

One day a week I go to the food pantry. I buy beer every two-three days and only drink it at night to help me go to sleep.

If I wasn't so depressed I'd be spending my waking hours writing short stories or trying to get my stories published.

If I had the money I'd buy a keyboard and go back to producing songs with my computer.

I'm in a similar situation.

As morbid as it sounds I sometimes wonder how long it would take someone to find my body if I were to die unexpectedly. Would I be a rotting mess, a skeleton, if I get a pet will they eat me?

If there were such a thing as an after life would I stick around and watch as I decayed or would I just nip off to the next stage of existence and hope for the best that someone finds me eventually.

Can't help but wonder about these things.

It's easy to deal with; one has lots of time for their special interest.

It's hard to deal with being around others as far as I go.

There is also this way of looking at things. You can spend more time committing to your interests, you don't have to deal with all the people stress, you don't to cope with endless chit chat about stuff that is not entertaining to you, you don't have to put up with people upsetting any routines you might have and..and...you get the tv remote, dvd player and your documentary collection to yourself as well! (that's if you watch documentaries).

It is not actually all bad.

Last edited by bumble on 08 Dec 2013, 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree, except that I need to be with someone else who values me as a person and my company.

I can appreciate that.

I can go out but I struggle to interact with people in a way that results in any meaningful relationships being formed, so struggle with a similar thing myself. I just keep trying to get out when and where I can (the gym, i have a museum pass as I like them and it would be nice to meet someone who likes them too and so on) and hope for the best that one day something positive happens in terms of finding someone.

Not much else I can do really. Staying home doesn't help and internet has not worked all that well for me when it comes to finding people I can spend some time with in real life.

I don't cope with spending too much time with people though...I tend to like my socialising to be in short bursts. On staying that I still like to be out and about...it just means that sometimes I prefer not to have to interact with anyone.

I hope you manage to find some relief.

Not ashamed to say I feel like this more often than not. I deal with it by sticking to my video games or writing or just going out on my own.