Is this a really bad faux pas?

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I'm not sure if you consider this a really bad faux pas - I had mixed feedback from my family and friends on it. Some said it was no big deal, some said it was a potential deal breaker and was really bad.

The situation: I had a job interview for a small software company, which I read great stuff about and I really liked the job description (it had to do with software platform configurations at large companies, dealing with clients directly) - the job took place at a pub, in the early evening, the two guys giving the interview were more laid back but still somewhat business like...at the end of questioning, I was told that I really know my stuff inside-out, and one of the guys - the owner - said that he'd like to give me an offer this coming Monday. I just needed to send him my reference sheet for him to contact.

I said I was very pleased to hear this, and then as I got up and shook hands with them, I realized that I'd ordered and drank two ginger ales (no way was I getting alcoholic drinks!) so I said "well, I'd better settle my tab before I go" (just sounding responsible, that's all).

The company owner replied "Huh?" to which I repeated, "well, I need to settle my tab...right?" (realizing during mid-sentence that I'd created an awkward situation by not picking up on the "Huh? (subtext: I can't believe you just said that)" - he didn't say it in an angry way, but more puzzled. He said "No, don't worry, that's on OUR tab!!" I instantly shrugged and laughed sheepishly saying, "oh! well thank you, that's...that's great!" And since they were both remaining standing, I thought for a moment they were going to walk out as well - I just had a brain freeze - but I should have noticed that they still had incomplete drinks on the table, so they awkwardly extended their hands to shake a second time, then I said "thank you, we'll be in touch!" and walked out.

When I got home at about 8:30 that Tues night, I immediately contacted my references via email to tell them, sent this guy my reference sheet, and told him that I took down several notes based on our conversation & what he told me about his company, to convey my enthusiasm. Yet I never heard back from him, like a "thank you for that, I'll contact those references and send the offer to you by Monday as I stated earlier." - which I take as a negative sign.

I have a job already, but have had my workload reduced b/c they found out about my inherent differences and challenges - it seems this tends to happen where I get into a pattern of "underemployment", fortunately there have been spells where they overlooked or didn't notice my oddness and my great technical skills prevailed and shined, so I can only hope that I'm about to enter a new spell as such. A lot can have to do with the people and culture.

I just hope these guys don't write me off as "one of those weirdos" who's unfit to interact with clients, because of the parting mishap (if it was indeed one). And on that note, I'm wondering if I should contact him by next Tuesday if I haven't heard back from him (with the offer as he said) by then -or if I am expected to "take the hint" (wouldn't be the first time...)

If I had been interviewing you, I might have thought you were awkward, but unless the job itself were highly social, it would be your job skills that mattered more, because you were obviously not being antisocial--just socially clumsy. But NTs differ in how much they mind nerdy social interaction from their employees.

I don't think it was a really bad faux pas. Perhaps you mixed up the signals and thought the meeting was over when it actually wasn't. It does sound awkward. But if they are so touchy that they would be offended by a mistake like that, then I wouldn't really want to work for them anyhow.

Don't beat yourself up over it. You sound like you've analyzed the situation, learned what you could from it. That's all you can be expected to do.

I don't think what you did was so bad. you will likely get the offer Monday. but if you don't hear, take the hint and let them respond in their own time, if they do.

I third that emotion. I don't think it was that big a deal. Embarrassing for you, but once you'd left they probably moved on to other topics and never gave it another thought. Only way to know for sure is to wait for Monday and see what happens, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if I were you.

I don't think that was even blip bad. Lot's of people have little moments during job interviews. Take heart!

It's a minor blunder, but not such a big deal IMO, especially having worked in the bar/pub industry myself.

I'd wait until wednesday to give 'em a call back if you haven't heard anything and tell 'em you appreciate that they're busy people, and that your references can be as well, so if there's anything you can do to facilitate communication between them you'd be more than willing to do so - ie checking with your references to make sure they're available to take calls, or getting their email addresses if a call just can't happen easily etc.

Good luck!

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

This is a software house? They will be used to aspies. I think you'll be fine.

It wasn't a faux pas at all, and since it's not for sales but for R&D, it's perfectly fine. I am in Sales, and even though I'm an aspie, I often find it hard to relate to the guys in R&D they're so aspie-like. Don't worry in the least. If you don't hear from them ever again, it probably means they found a more suitable candidate - these things happen, it's life - and didn't have the business sense to update you and keep a good image of themselves and the company they represent with you.

That said, it's the norm that when you're invited (even if for an interview), you don't pay anything. Especially because they're not paying either, it's the company that's paying the drinks. But your offering to pay is not a faux pas, just being nice.

I don't think it was too bad at all. Maybe you were meant to leave at that point and if you'd have stayed it would have been awkward? From how you describe it it was ambiguous. I'm NT and I think everyone has moments like that. I remember in an interview once the interviewer reached out to shake my hand as I picked up my jacket with the hand I should have been shaking with and we had a little shuffle going on of swapping shaking hands/jacket holding hands before we finally got to shake. And I still got the job. These things happen.

I have no idea why that would have been a faux pas. But then again, I don't understand these things very well either. But I would probably have asked about paying for my drinks too.