Socialising advice please.

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Ok..

Been to gym..people don't speak
Been traveling around....people don;t speak
Been to local pub....people don't speak
Been to cafes...people don't speak

I;m trying so hard and nothing.

How do I fidn friends please.

I want to die, how can making friends be this hard..why are people so unfriendly?

I am going to slap the next perosn who says I dont put effort in

Ive bene out every day since august
starting going ot local pub and still nothing

I am polite.

I am friendly if people do speak

nothing is happening

why does nothing happen

Youd think the universe would give me a break now

I try so hard

why cant it igive me a break

why?

Why?

why?

I am not am monster

why does no one speak

because you live in Norfolk and English people don't talk to strangers if they can help it.

your options:

Move up north. Move to a big city. Move to a different country.


Seriously, I am not even being sarcastic.

I am thinking I definitely need to move somewhere because the people up here are horrid.

So unfriendly. Hideously so.

yeah, I wouldn't try socializing where I live either.. you like traveling so why not check out some interest groups in nearby towns?

anyway, not sure if this will make you laugh or not.. but here goes https://www.facebook.com/pages/Things-N ... 9143566314

I am seeing the therapist on tuesday, i shall tell her I am trying very hard and no one is being friendly.

I really do need to move I think.

Norfolk is horrible. pretty landscape but people are not friendly.

Where do you live?

And lol the link is funny.

I am not originally from Norfolk, I am from the Midlands, UK. Poeple are a bit more friendly there but not by much. Poeple always seem to know I am not from their region as I don't pick up an accent. My original home town was Cheltenham UK.

I keep thinking joining a book club (like a reading circle) would be a good way to meet people and have something to talk about, but I have no idea how one goes about that. And what if they kept choosing books I hated?

That is a good point...what kind of books do you like?

So far I have tried a gym, well..3 gyms, traveling around from Norwich city to the coast, sitting in cafes, the local libraries, local bus stops, the local pub, Norwich city...

I am booking a place on a pottery class if I can get one.

Am running out of ideas.

Have you tried something like meetup.com? It might work better because it's aimed at people who are wanting to be sociable.

I think the places you've listed are difficult for making friends. Some people do make friends there, but they're usually outgoing or lucky people who can easily make friends anywhere they go. At the gym people might be sweaty, gross, and feeling shy, or just there to get out of the house, work out, and head home. At a cafe they might be waiting for someone or just want to eat.

I visit cafes sometimes and usually the only people I see anyone talking to are the ones who came in with them, the staff, or the ones they were waiting on to arrive. Where I live they're social places, but only for those who already know each other to stop and relax. It's rare to see conversations between strangers and they don't last long.

Most friendships I know of come from school, social clubs, or work, but I've heard of volunteer work providing some opportunities, too.

I have tried. There are no groups on meetup.com that interest me and I don't even have odd special interests. I like cooking, baking, making bread, and the grocery store. I try being friendly, initiate small talk, get along well with my coworkers. I don't get it.

What you said implies that you are waiting for others to initiate interaction with you... Maybe you should try doing so with them? I far prefer waiting for someone to talk to me first as well, but initiating it may be your only option. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

How? I tried starting chit chat about the weather...the conversation just dies out.

I'm 38 and can't even get a date...I wouldn't mind but I am not that unattractive. I am quite pretty in my own way actually.

I have been trying since the beginning of august to find social contacts up here, have been here for 4 years...but was too ill to mingle for the first 2 or 3 years before that (migraine issues that left me stuck in bed most days and unable to leave the house).

The people here are awful...the only people who ever speak and whom want further contact are people who come in from other cities and they say the same thing...Norfolk people are unfriendly.

Unfortunately these are usually men wanting just sex and as I'd rather have a relationship I am not really interested (I don't like casual sex with random people I hardly know).

I am seeing a therapist on Tuesday but I don't think I have the heart to try anymore. I mean nearly 5 months and no one wants to give me break or a chance now?

I am not accepting all the blame for this...I am not rude when out as I stick to formal polite and conversation about light topics such as the weather, the bus service and so on. If people speak I speak back and do not ignore them. I smile at them. I don't talk about myself or my hobbies...instead I let them talk about whatever they like.

I wish I could think of a non scary way to kill myself. I just really want to die. I mean I'm not even ever going to get to go out on a date again and it never used to be like that in other parts of the country. I never had girly friends but men wanted to date me, they thought my quirks were cute. Up here I can't get any interest from anyone interesting at all.

I really really just wish I could die now.

I have tried and tried and tried really hard to be friendly and find social contacts. Norfolk people have made it obvious that I am wasting my time and they are not going to give me a break.

I can't afford to move unless I can get a transfer...my bungalow has been up for transfer for a long time. No luck so far.

I am wondering if I should go to my drs for antidepressants so I can save them up and kill myself with them.

I think the pottery class idea is definitely good/in the right direction. You need to find an activity that people inherently do together: classes, games, charity work, etc. You could also try online socializing activities/places like online gaming. You can have a lot of serious emotional bonds and good friends across a good MMO. I've done it before, and I'm working on doing it again.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was your fault. It's not.