Can AS traits be worse around other people?

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For some reason I had dismissed the idea that my husband had AS for the longest time, but then I joined here (because of my kids, who are autistic) and I'm finding so much of what I'm reading on here matches, that I'm starting to suspect it. My husband has a pretty static default facial expression, which looks kind of angry but at the very least, serious. That's all the time, no matter who is around. But...

His body language is also extremely awkward, in public, but it's a lot more natural when he's at home with people he's comfortable around. In public his shoulders are very stiff and he holds his arms strangely. They can't be by his sides; they either have to be crossed in front or clasped behind his back (the latter is less standoffish). He sits really stiffly too; he always looks really uncomfortable even if it's a comfortable chair. But at home, he's nowhere near as awkward. Sitting he looks relaxed, and his shoulders are not stiff. He still does the weird thing with his arms though. He's the shyest person I've ever met, so prior to this thought about AS, I always just thought that was normal shy behaviour. If it changes from home to public, would that be shy? Because AS would be like that all the time? Or can it change like that?

It could be social anxiety or ASD or something else. It would depend on why he is different in public and if he had these types of issues at a very young age when he .

If the anxiety is caused by previous failures in social situations due to constant misreading of intent between him and others, if in public he is having sensory overload due to lights, noise, touch etc he would be a good candidate for ASD diagnoses. You are describing some repetitive body movement also indicative of ASD. It does tend to run in families and if you provided a Autistic friendly environment for your kids you might have unintentionally created a Austistic friendly environment for him.

Whatever it is seems to be causing enough impairment to warrant seeing a professional. But he has to be ready to receive this information. Guys because of denial, macho pride etc. sometimes are not ready until things are really bad. Hopefully this is not the case with your husband.

Your children clinician may or may not not be the right person for your husband. Autism presents differently in adults so he should see a specialist with expertise in adult autism.

I also think that it's probably social anxiety. Most people feel more comfortable with their family members than they do with others, and people who are on the autism spectrum can be very shy.

He does have social anxiety. Was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and I don't think anyone could argue with that. But one can have both social anxiety disorder and AS at the same time, no? That's the possibility I've been considering.

Social anxiety can definitely be comorbid with ASDs, I know it is with me. I am totally different around certain people and place that I'm comfortable with than people or places I don't know or aren't comfortable around. I can talk to my mother quite well but my interactions with others brings a lot of problems.

My autism traits are considerably more pronounced when I'm away from home. If you saw a video of just me and my cousin alone in my room interacting, I will not appear nearly as autistic as I would in a video of me in a public place. It all has to do with sensory input. How much stuff is being taken in, sounds, smells, lights, feels etc. All this will cause me to become withdrawn and to stim a lot.

Mine, to. That is why I hate going places.