Drinking and socialising

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Does drinking improve or worsen your social skills?

In one way it improves mine. I am more able to talk to people more as I don't feel so shy (pn shy in some contexts not so much in others)

In another way it worsens them. I will babble on about anything that happens to enter my head (no filter..I have trouble with filtering at the best of times. It is worsened when I am drunk apparently).

I am braver though so I get around not being able to tell if a man fancies me by just asking men I find attractive outwardly if they find me attractive too. I am usually too shy to ask such a thing when sober.

They really shouldn't give out free drinks at the pub, now I have a hangover.

A chappy walked me home though. That was nice of them.

Do you find drinking changes your ability to socialise?

Alcohol only makes me sleepy. Or sick if I have too much. My mental state doesn't seem to be affected by it. So my weirdness doesn't change.

My ability to control my tendency to give out too much information is diminished
I become somewhat more outgoing or chatty (more social)
I am braver and will do things I am too shy to do when sober

Last night I chatted up and snogged 2 men which is not something I would do sober as I am shy. I basically just tell them outright I find them attractive and ask if they find me attractive too (can't read it very well otherwise and it saves time without all the game playing people tend to want to do). I hope I didn't offend anyone actually as I was chatting one up and then got distracted by another one and ended up chatting them up too forgetting about the other one in the process. I assume he went home as he disappeared. Did I make a social error?

I did a similar thing some years ago on a works night out. I was flirting with my boss then got distracted dancing with another work colleague. My boss didn't like me very much after that and stopped being nice to me.

It also used to make me go shopping for things I didn't need.

Booze can do bad things....

Flirting to me equals

"Hi I find you very attractive, do you find me attractive too"

I think drinking does help me socialise better. I certainly think that it helps relax me and I find it easier to keep conversations going. Of course, I do not use this as an excuse to get drunk so I can communicate better. I know what my limits are and usually restrict the amount that I end up drinking. There have been exceptions though!

I was actually just out drinking a few hours ago. I find that it makes me more talkative, and that I socialize more easily under the influence, but at the same time, I tend to say really stupid and/or blunt things when I'm drunk.

I'm the same as this, but I'll add that I often have poor limits around alcohol, so I have to be very careful not to overindulge. When I do, things tend to get sloppy...

I don't like to drink too often as it can give me migraines, which this time it has.

Alcohol doesn't really improve my social skills.

I've worked hard to be sociable without the aid of alcohol.

It does help a little, but I think it loosens up everyone in the room in general. I still am able to maintain a filter. I handle my alcohol pretty well; I'm not prone to saying things I'll later regret.

Well I tried that for 5 months and, unless it's an old lady, no one speaks to me when I am sober.

Also if I do find a man who wants to meet up they seem to want to drink. As people don't seem to want to spend time with me unless I am drunk, occasionally I do what I have to do to get the socialisation I need. It's not what I want as I prefer not to consume alcohol at all (I don't really like being drunk that much), but it's either that or complete isolation it seems.

I do sometimes like having company even if I do like to potter around on my own most of the time.

I just can't do it very often as alcohol makes me poorly.

I dont know if it made me a better socializier when I was drunk, but I do know that I acted like a totally different person. I remember the occasion where I was speaking in a Scottish accent, and when trying to speak again in my normal accent, I couldn't.

I stopped drinkng because I realized I had a tendency to be meaner and angrier when drinking. The last time I remember being drunk in public, I said something that made my date cry. So yeah, no more drinking after that.

I managed to find a way to improve social skills while sober in the last year. I don't drink anymore, and somehow I am finding a way to overcome social problems.

So how do you cope with the pressure?

Its like last night when I went in the pub. They asked me to join them at the bar because the last time I went in there I went and sat alone and they don't like to leave people sitting alone there.

That is very nice of them and last night I did want to socialise but it means I can never go in there if I want to sit quietly by myself and have a pineapple juice, read a book or similar. I am now under pressure to be social when I don't feel like it. I could stay in but I don't like to and on a Sunday there is no where else to visit if I want to get out of the house. No buses out of the village.

Same goes for the evening as buses stop running at 5 pmish around here. Means I have to stay in the house all night and as my place needs some decorating and I always alone and never have any visitors I don't really want to sit in it.

I like being out and about you see and I can enjoy being around human beings but I don't always want to interact with people...

I am not a hermit who likes to be completely alone 24 hours a day but I cannot cope with always having to interact with people either. I also like to live alone as I like the freedom it offers me in terms of being able to have my samenesses and routines.

I don't cope with the pressure to keep making social chit chat or of having to interact when I don't feel like it, that's why I developed a drinking addiction many years ago (it;s not as it was yet, as I can still just about control it, although I am not happy to keep pushing it as the cravings are coming back a bit which is another reason I'd rather not drink alcohol).

I am actually upset about events last night and now I realise I will not be able to visit the pub again because the pressure to have to socialise with a group of chatty people sitting at the bar will always be there now. I don't know how to tell them that I like sitting by myself sometimes without coming across as unfriendly.

See this is why I hate trying to do the social stuff....too much pressure!

Even if I do make contact with people it falls apart after that because they always think there is something wrong with wanting to be by yourself sometimes.

I can't cope with it. It's too much.

People get moody with you when you don't want to chit chat and take it personally and then there are bad feelings and you end up with no friends because you can't keep up with all the energy it takes.

I can't cope in a society that is osessed with the notion that its always a bad thing if someone sits by themselves for a while.

I want to be able to go out without having to interact. This does not mean I will never interact but I like to keep my interactions short and sweet most of the time.

I was going to join a group to find a friend but am I going to have the same problem?

It never used to be as bad as this when I was growing up. People didn't mind my wandering off alone quite so much. My parents just used to let me disappear off by myself. I used to spend a lot of time in my bedroom back then...on my own not with friends.

People just left me alone.....well my parents did, everyone else bullied me.

Can't win with me. It is very nice of them to be friendly but then I can't cope with it when they are.

This is terrible. Im stuck....and I don't see a way out.

Can't see my therapist understanding
Can't see people in general understanding

And just to add to my misery my freezer seems to have broken down and the contents have defrosted (including the ice cream i was going to eat).

Merry bloody xmas.

Its not their fault...its me.

They were very nice.

I hate this.