how do say a person have 1 aspie trait but is not aspie?

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i have noticed a lot before on lot of forums related to mental or physical health that like wp, that some people seem to think you dont knowthat a nt person is definitely non-aspie but just happen to share one aspie trait.
eg - i have a friend who i know is typical nt but doesnt always keep up with the flow of the conversation,.
my nt friend is obsessed with cooking. i know an nt who lacks empathy. - ''oh how do you know they could be aspie and you not know it? yes they have many friends and are social but aspies can be social too and in disguise or denial, your nt friend could be aspie?' It gets a little frustrating at times when you are trying to get
a point across.

how do you prove online that you are talking about a normal (nt person )who happens to have one trait what aspies share but doesnt make that person aspie?

the inner workings of the minds outway the traits people display

my sister stims, obsessively thinks and has trouble socializing, but shes far from the autism spectrum

not all people with aspegers show the same aspergers traits, the traits are a result of how the brain works, if the brain works the same way as an autistic person, than the person is autistic, someone can have traits of aspergers and still think like an NT. you cant compare a brain function to a behaviour.

Broad Autism Phenotype, perhaps? It's a general term to refer to those who have more autistic traits than is considered "average," but not enough for an autism diagnosis:

http://autism.about.com/od/autismterms/g/phenotype.htm

Many of my NT friends growing up had some sort of special interest. It wasn't like an aspie's that is all consuming, but they were obsessed enough to get boring sometimes.

I would say that somebody who is a NT with one autistic trait...doesn't quite qualify for BAP yet

I think you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't have a single autistic trait.

i know that an Nt person can have one aspie trait what doesnt make them aspie in the least.

the point i was trying to make was

a thread talking about fussy eaters are aspies. a person writes 'i have an Nt friend who is a fussy eater, dislikes foods touching, doesnt like this doesnt likt that'..
then sometimes get one or more replies from other person says 'are you sure your Nt friend isnt an aspie in disguise?''

its like some people cant accept the fact that some Nt can still display an aspie trait, and that one Nt person with an aspie trait does not mean they have always been an aspie and you not know it. you know this Nt person you are talking about more than members here know that person.

I notice with NT people, people call their aspie traits quirks or part of their personality and say that is just them. I think some of them act worse than me and I am the one with this condition? My cousin for example. But then again she isn't really NT because she has ADD and has been diagnosed with Bipolar before. She just doesn't see the big picture so she acts all self centered and doesn't see other peoples point of view. Everyone calls it her. If she had autism, they would say it was her autism, not her. But that is what happens with NTs when they have an autistic trait. People say it's them or call it a quirk of theirs.

It could be that some people are just selfish and don't really care or they are just oblivious and lack that social skill so they do rude behavior like walking right in front of you and cutting you off because they were not paying attention. It always irritates me anyway when someone guesses is someone is on the autism spectrum whenever someone is rude or a jerk or acts unreasonable like someone's friend did in the other thread because he changed the time so the OP was on his way to show up and his friend was mad at him for "making him wait."

My mom can't even keep friends and was never good at it, she also doesn't like bright light and it hurts her eyes and so do fluorescent lights. My NT brother has acute sense of taste and smell and had difficulty with transitioning between things and my Dad has poor social skills. My mom says he is getting worse now. He even told me how he was taking a dump in the bathroom and dug it out of there and he has to eat less cheese. Six years ago he even called me on the phone just to tell me how constipated he is and how he dug it out. Mom told me that is not something you share with people and my husband told me the same thing. My mom has always seen his poor social skills as Dad. Our old neighbors used to joke to my mom about her having four kids instead of three.

Sometimes I think things are not autistic traits like experts have made it out to be like being impatient. Lot of people get impatient. I doubt they're all autistic. Sometimes I feel that way too but I don't blame it on autism. I just make sure I don't act like a dumb ass just because I am anxious so I have to remind myself how to act like wait your turn, wait for the other person to get done, stay right here, don't get close to that person, go the speed limit, watch for traffic, etc. I think this could be the reason why lot of people stim in that situation. It doesn't make them autistic so no way would I say I am stimming in that situation because I have AS but I am sure other people would blame it on that if they knew I had it. That is the way it is with autism. It happens with other conditions too.

I cannot think of any aspie trait my other NT brother has so I am guessing he has zero.