The one question that used to confuse me...

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Really? Where did you learn that?

This was the question that used to fry my circuits. I mean, it would really throw me for a loop.

In those long ago ages when I didn't even know about AS, I would get into many conversations that would end with "Where did you learn that?" And every time the question was asked, it would throw me for a loop. The permutations presented by the question was almost mind boggling. Being an Aspie, we all know here that I am terminally curious. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge that we all share here. So to me, fishing for all the knowledge I can absorb is an organic process. It is what I was meant to do. So I'm here night and day questing for knowledge. And I used to think everyone was just as curious as I am.

I used to stay dumbfounded at that question. It used to make me feel out of sorts, in a way. It used to make me feel like I was some kind of overly curious freak.

Is anyone else perplexed when this question is posed to you?

Last edited by markaudette on 06 Feb 2007, 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My issue is that I can remember obscure facts but not remember where I read or heard the info(sometimes)....Was it the discovery channel,scientific journal,web site or book?I did hear this alot and just answered as best I could remember...usually a vague...."I read it somewhere">It never occurred to me that they thought I was weird for knowing the info.Lately though,I have had more exposure to adults who seem to be totally void of ANY intellectual curiosity.That continues to amaze me.It is a concept that is beyond my understanding.I can understand someone who doesnt know something or someone wha cant understand something but not someone who doesnt want to understand.....very odd.

When I was really young <10, I came COMPLETE with a bibliography! I could tell people! SERIOUSLY! Today, I just smile, or something similar most of the time. I can't tell you precisely where I first heard perhaps 90% of what I know. HECK, MOST today assume I learned stuff where I never even was! I guess that is better than when I was a kid, and people figured a kid could never know anything!

Some INSIST on knowing, and I have to wonder WHY.

Steve

same here
its a constant problem for me helped in getting me away from people , its hard to understand why people refuse to KNOW , sometimes I get all pride to think they are awfully dum , because sometimes , they mock on me because of what I know or the words I might choose ( which they can't understand ) , imagine a young man in a very very small town in a third world country like egypt , who writes poetry in English , and obsessed about Edgar Allan Poe works , no one here heard about him before ! !! , you only can imagine .

other times I thought to my self , well, its their nature , and I am different , all the time since I was a very little child , knew I am different , but I didn't know why , until I found out that I have AS , of course self diagnosed , any word about a disorder , means I will live the rest of my life in asylum , which I hear horrible stories about it here in my country ,
and here I am , sometimes months pass me by before I go out to see the streets , Thankfuly I have a pension , which will end next june , I need to find a job before this , oh God , how would I handle seeing people again?! ! , I can't understand how they think , and all the time I share my thoughts openly and sometimes naively which always gets me in trouble , its horrible to cope with people who can't understand you , they will just ignore you , avoide you , or worse , mock on you and make jokes about you
its really the wrong planet for me

Wow, the more I read posts on WP, the more I amazed I am by how similar other aspies' experiences are to mine. Maybe all of us aspies really did have a common origin in the nation of Aspiergia.

As a kid, whenever someone asked the where I learned something, I used to name the title and author of the book I read it in. In response, adults laughed in my face, and kids responded with "you're stupid" or something similar. Both of these reactions puzzled me: why did adults find a kid being smart so funny, and how can kids think that someone who knows stuff is stupid? Later I realized why: adults, who believe that kids don't know anything, think it's "cute" when a kid says something intellectual; kids, on the other hand, don't give a damn about intellectual stuff, so they called me stupid for talking about it.

Now that I'm in my twenties, it's way better. People take a smart adult much more seriously that a smart kid. At the same time, I adjusted my responses. If the topic involves computers, I say I took a class about it in college. For information about trains, I say that I was into trains when I was younger, and still remember some stuff (despite the fact that I'm into trains now). For any other topic, I usually respond with a vague: "online somewhere" or "this book I was reading".

I would always be suprised when I'd hear that same question. I figured everybody knew everything I did. Or at least everybody was as interested in things as I was.

Sometimes I take that question as an insult because it's like they don't think what I'm saying is true.When i say something It's usually correct and when they ask that I just think to myself "why does it matter?! JUST AGREE WITH ME CAUSE IM RIGHT!"

HEY, people will sometimes say that to me even TODAY! They usually assume I studied this stuff in college, etc... ALSO, in my industry, I have learned that I have to tailor my opinion of my abilities, etc... Some idiots have a big ego, and I have to play dumb. Some others assume you must have certain SPECIFIC experience to do a job, and I have to act more confident than some might feel I should. Yeah, it's sad. Today, for example, I was spinning my wheels waiting for other things. MEANWHILE:....

Others tried scripting(I can do that NOW) I have programmed in Korn, PERL, and PHP for YEARS.(I have programmed in others, like C/PASCAL/BASIC/FORTRAN/COBOL/etc... but they aren't considered scripting languages.)
Waiting for a datamodeler(I can do that) I have done datamodeling on almost any database you can name.
Waiting for a UNIX ADMIN(I can do THAT) I have been an admin on almost every system you can name, ESPECIALLY UNIX and DEC platforms.

I just kept quiet. 8-( Just one STUPID thing I do to avoid being OVER worked, needless chatter, and appearing arrogant. 8(

And HEY, if they ask ME such questions(I'm older than you, and in the industry they still ask such questions about.), why should YOU be so offended. They probably figure it can be learned or something. CAPD or not, you may well be similar to others here. As someone in this thread already mentioned, it is ODD how many have such similar experiences!

I really have to wonder where I could be. I found out my math problem really is because of self talk. I guess it is similar to CAPD. Before I opened my eyes this morning, I was just multiplying numbers like crazy. About an hour after I woke up it slowed down a little, but I can still do it. I just have to avoid that stupid self talk habit.

BTW I asked a person here about her math gifts. Partly curiousity, and party because I figured that maybe I could learn if I was missing something. She admonished me that I couldn't achieve precisely what she has. I knew that, but she obviously has encountered people that didn't.

Steve

the answer is too complex for people to want to hear it, I am perplexed by how to answer it in that if I TRY to answer it they don't want to hear the answer, but if they avoid it my credibility gets shot down

I get the same thing...It alway amazes me when I run into people that aren't curious about anything, or don't care to learn anything new...to me that's the best part of life.

I get it, too. I think it has to do with the habit of putting people in "boxes" and getting disturbed when they don't behave according to preconceived notions or stereotypes.

For example:
When I was working at a convenience store, this guy came in and handed me his credit card to pay for his purchases. It was an unusual card with a famous painting on it.
Without thinking, I said, "Van Gogh, cool!"
The guy looked at me kinda weird and said, "How did you know that?"
"Well", I replied, ""A Starry Night" is a pretty well-known impressionist painting."
The guy walked out without saying another word.

Then it dawned on me:
Dumb-ass store clerks aren't supposed to know anything.
I was supposed to say:
"Gee, mister, them sher is purty colors!"

Anyway, I think when people ask "Where did you learn that?" it is because you have just rocked their world. They are confused. It makes their heads hurt. Congratulations!

I have a theory for his reaction. People, especially NTs, don't like to have facts to be thrown at them randomly. When you told the guy the exact description of the painting, he didn't like that, despite the fact that he could have known what it was. Which brings me to another point: the statement: "a well-known impressionist paining" was viewed as a put-down. Namely, he though you were calling him stupid for not knowing what the painting is. That's why he reacted the way he did. He didn't think you were stupid; he though you were calling him stupid. Strange but true. Besides, if he got a credit card like that, I'm pretty sure he knew what the painting was.

Instead of giving out an exact description, it would have been better to say: (A)"well, it just looked like a Van Gogh's painting". If you were in a joking mood, you could also add: (B)"he must have been on something when he painted it" (implying drugs). Another NT-appropriate response could have been: (C)"I saw a similar painting in a museum once." Using these reactions, you respond to the customer's questions not by throwing out facts, but on a psychological level. Here's how most NTs would viewed each "appropriate" response.

Response A indicates a recognition of something that looked familiar, like recognizing a face.
Response B indicates that you're a fun-loving person who likes to joke about the everyday life.
Response C indicates being comfortable enough to share something personal from your past.
As stupid as this sounds, this is what NTs like, not the sharing of dry facts, and since we live in an NT-dominated world, we have no choice but to adapt to that harsh reality. On a side note, """A Starry Night" is a pretty well-known impressionist painting" sounds kind of, for the lack of a better term, pedantic, and we all know how NTs hate pedantic phrases.

This scenario remind me of when I used to work as a cashier. This girl came up to pay for her stuff, and she handed me a credit card like the one you described, with the "Starry Night" painting. Now the store I worked at had a lot more women than men, and while I felt a little out of place at times, I learned a lot about how women communicate. So I told the girl: "nice credit card; I'd guess you like art". She smiled and responded: "Yeah, I'm majoring in European history, so that's pretty much how I got into it." We then got into short conversation about art history. After that, she took her receipt, said "have a good day", and walked away.

Hopefully, these explanations and examples would help you in the future. Good luck. It's both interesting and sad that NTs know all this intuitively, while we have to learn it the hard way.

I think people who know it all ask that question.

Of course, they don't really know it all, they just think they do. Why they do that is beyond me.

When someone asks me that the conversation is pretty much going to end there. They have just figured out that I really am weird.

When I was 11 years old I turned in a book report about human evolution. It discussed neanderthal fossils. My teacher said that it was too well written for a child, so she thought I copied it and gave me an F. I brought the book in and she couldn't find what I wrote. So she gave me a D. I was really upset. I had done very good work about something I really cared about, and this stupid person didn't believe me or give me credit.

People frequently look at me like I'm weird and ask me how I know something. Well, when I want to know something, which is always, I find out. If I hear something interesting I remember it (hopefully). I can't understand why people aren't driven by curiosity. It sounds like a living hell, to not be learning.

What? Do you believe that?

The thing that sends me through the roof is if they ask "did you learn that at school?" I say "no..." and then they say "then where?"

They forget that people are capable of learning from reading and not from an instructor.