Not anything...

Post Reply New Topic

Not Aspergers, not NT, not bipolar, adhd or BPD (don't fit the criteria)

What the hell is left for a person to be...do they need some new labels?

PN not talking about formal diagnosis...never been tested since i was 13 and all they found then was my wobbly asynchronous development as in having moral development etc beyond my years but also being emotionally immature at the same time.

Sick of the bipolar accusations by the way, I am nothing like someone with bipolar in the real world, I live a mundane sensible life where I spend most days riding buses. I don't see most bipolar people as not doing drugs, not breaking the law, not getting highs, needing 8 hours sleep and ridding the same bus routes up and down to the coast daily somehow. I think the bipolars might get bored with the daily repetition.

PDD-NOS ? It seems to be the "default" label for anyone who has some clear autistic features which do not form a specific pattern that characterize another disorder.

Also I don't know anything of you except your post so I have no idea if this is relevant, but you may want to consider intellectual giftedness. It is not considered a "disorder" since there is no impairment, but it can be lived in an extremely disabling and painful way nevertheless (being "different" is more than enough to feel lonely and be ostracised, even if you have normal social skills - ask any immigrant. And having an unusually efficient symbolic thinking means many things are seen as easy and boring, which can be depressing.) I mention it because it is linked to asynchronous development in childhood, and also often to hypersentifivity. And it is often misdiagnosed with ADHD.



I used to have a bipolar pal. Being bipolar is "just" being depressed and maniac in alternance. When he was in a maniac state, he was incredibly warm, happy, optimistic, full of energy, and prone to grand or exalted actions (like spending huge sums of money in gifts, travels, meals, etc.) When he was in a depressive state, he was so bad he often made suicide attempts if he was alone. Between those extremes, he was just a sensible, sociable, friendly and highly intelligent normal person. The states change periodically and are hardly affected by outside events (I remember at some time his doctor had asked him to plot his mood in function of time, with one point per day. It drew a near-perfect sinusoid.) It is a really difficult, disabling and hard to live condition, but it seems rather easy to recognize to me. I'm absolutely not a mental health professional but based on what I know I can't see how you could mistake that for an ASD, ADHD or that kind of trouble.

Why not just get evaluated?

+ Salicylate Sensitivity symptoms & IBS = Leaky Gut = Intestinal Dysbiosis = Candidiasis.

Deal with the digestive issue and all of those neurological/behavioural issues disappear. I know because I've been exactly like you & now know different, because I am different.

Seriously.
- Richard

what makes you think you arent an NT?

Because they wont accept me..i fit now where


Tonight i went to the pub..virtually no one would speak to me. They think I am too weird. When someone did speak to me it was because they like "unusual people" and they thought I was odd. i sat in the back room by myself for most of the night. I feel awful. I wish i wasdead/

I feel so depressed....it's awful. It doesn't matter what i do eveyone thinks I am weird, odd. strange


I am not anything. I don't fit in anywhere.

I like being different, even though I don't really see myself as being very different. I rather just choose or try to be myself without qualms unless myself is morally reprehensible by my own moral standards. Sometimes that means I need to alter my moral standards, like after years of trying to not be lazy and alleviate my guilt about still being lazy, I realized it was time to try to change my moral views of laziness that were instilled in me by my parents, mainly my mom.

If someone were to call you bipolar (or anything else for that matter), why would that be an 'accusation'? Aren't you right now trying to fit into a criteria for something and as such wouldn't it be good if you found you were bipolar? (I'm seriously asking this not trying to be facetious, you're confusing me.) I'm not saying you're bipolar nor do I actually think you are, (not that I would know anyways) but doing drugs and acting irresponsibly are merely people acting up due to their whacked out emotions. I guess what you just presented as counter-examples to you being bipolar I didn't see as counter-examples. If one were to act 100% responsibly but still have the crazy emotions, they would still qualify as being bipolar. In fact, if you have strong morals and a strong sense of keeping yours' and society's worlds running smoothly, I don't know why being extremely happy or extremely sad would change that aspect of yourself.

You seem incredibly lonely more than anything to me. What are the negative effects of chronic loneliness? Fiction certainly dictates to me that a person alone, say, on a desert island will go crazy somehow. Just throwing out ideas for you to chew on or look into I suppose.

Anyone who's had an unusual life will be seen as odd once past any social veneer they put on. Enh, a step further, anyone who doesn't veil themselves properly in the social veneer that helps us interact with each other will be seen as different too. Why don't you have Asperger's again?

I don't know how difficult it would be, but you need to get a second opinion, I think.

Why don't you go away please.

i try to socialise with people, try to be friendly etc and tonight I go into the pub and no one wants to speak to me because I am weird. It is not my imagination as I asked someone as they came up to me and asked me why I sat alone and said no one wants to chat with me because I am odd.

I really doubt diet will changet that as my IBS disappeared a lont time ago and nothing has changed.

I will tell my therapist what happened but it is not becuase I try to avoid socialising.

I even did videos online (more outgoing than usual for me) but still people avoid me for being odd, strange or I make them uncomfortable.

I don't even know why exactly.
Just go away goldfish, my soicial problems have nothing to do with the food I eat.

Right now I just want to die.

I don't hate being different, I want to be accepted for who I am but people are treating me horribly and ostracising me.

I shall tell my therpaist what happened but I tried and I want it noted down taht I tried to socialise and that I didn't avoid social interaction.

It is not all my doing if people won't accept me.

I wil carry on trying but i want it to be known it is other poeple who are causing the trouble and not accepting me an not me. I don't harm anyone. I am not dangerous. I am not violent. I don't always talk much but then I don't know what to say. I don't do drugs. ONce in while I get drunk but that is no crime. I don't hate myself and so on.


I am not doing this, other people are....I am still trying to socialise despite everything. it is others who are not giving me the break.

Because I've lived what you're describing & know first hand it isn't any fun. I also figured out what was causing it, for me, and if it's the same cause for you then I know how to treat it. what I've done for myself is the single greatest gift I can share with others who have similar symptoms. That's why I don't just go away.

Even if you're unwilling to alter your diet right now, you can do a simple experiment to find out if it helps. You've put all sorts of effort in other things to see if they'll help you, ie reading books, therapy/counselling etc, and clearly what you've done hasn't worked out for the greatest yet. So, why not try something you haven't tried yet to see if it helps? what I'd suggest you start with is epsom salt foot soaks every day/night, or the use of an epsom salt lotion. Then make sure you're drinking plenty of water every day. Even if you're still consuming salicylate acids, if it is a buildup of them that's screwing with you as they did me, then they'll detox over many days/weeks of absorbing magnesium sulphate in order to be able to have the chemical building blocks required to enable you to urinate them out. (hence drinking plenty of water.) when I quit eating/using all things with salicylate acids in them cold turkey & started using epsom salt lotion daily, the major depression (complete with suicidal thoughts) that I had had for 5 months was all but completely lifted in 5 days. Using an epsom salt lotion on your skin is not harmful nor expensive. If it works, you'll know within a week if you're going to start feeling better for it.

Sincerely,
-Richard

I have already changed my diet and I am not into strange rituals or bizarre routines like the ones your plan requires.

I don't get typical depression. I am upset over my social issues when my attempts to socialise keep failing and people keep mocking, rejecting or ostracising me. It is not like I have found a few people who accept me, I have not...the rejection is happening constantly no matter what I do. I have tried everything because everyone is obsessed with this notion that it is because I am afraid to socialise and if I just go out an act naturally I will find friends. But that is not happening

People think I am weird...I don't even agree with them. to me they are the ones who are strange and odd. Not me. I am normal. They are weird which is why I don't understand why everyone is being so mean to me. I don't get it. How can I feel bad about myself and hate myself when I don't even think it is me who is doing anything wrong? They are the ones who have odd beliefs and keep insisting I must hate myself because I an not what they think I should be as a human being. I think society talks through it's arse and should be more accepting of difference.

I ask people why they don't accept me and they tell me its because I am weird.

The fact that I don't have anything to say to them has nothing to do with food. I mean the hairdresser today was talking about big brother. I don't watch television other than the occasional 80s movie on the film channels and I recently canceled my sky subscription because I am never into use it. When I do use it I don't pay attention to it as I am knitting or reading or similar. What can I say about a program I don't watch and am not interested in? Do you really believe that eating certain foods or taking certain supplements will make me interested in certain TV programs just because the world is hypnotised by them?

i will keep putting myself through social experiences and recording what is happening (people telling me no one wants to associate with me because I am weird or complaining that I don't talk enough or mention that I ran out of things to say to people) but I don't see what more I can do.

eating different foods is not going to make me put my book down and start tuning into reality tv shows...

People and their advice of 'just go out and be yourself' is making things worse for me.

I am just being mocked and avoided by people all the time for being weird, which is driving my depression.

I don't know anyone... nor have I ever met anyone, who spends most of their days riding buses. That doesn't seem quite normal to me. Sensible... mundane?

If someone sitting alone in a bar drinking asked me, "Why don't you accept me?" I would pay for my drink and leave the bar. People... the people, aren't going to be interested in you, unless you are genuinely interested in them... and that is pretty hard to fake. Have you thought about volunteering at a church or mission?

What is wrong with riding buses around?

I am not native to norfolk and it has a lot of beautiful scenery..countryside and coast. As I don't know anyone here to show me around I had to find a way of touring the area for myself. I don't ride inner city bus routes as I don't like them. Instead I use the rural routes and visit the coast where I have lunch and feed the seagulls. I also have a gym membership that I can use in 3 of the local gyms and a museum pass. One of the gyms is in Sheringham, another in Fakenham and another in North Walsham. I visit at least 2 of them depending on where I feel like swimming or working out. As I live in a remote village this requires riding a bus to get there. There are also 10 museums I an visit in Norfolk for free with my museum pass as well as getting discounts on events and in their cafe and shop. One of the museums is in cromer...where I often catch the bus to.

Also I am learning to sketch and I like photography so i ride the bus around looking for pretty places to draw or take pictures of. For example there are some beautiful and unique windmills between Sheringham and Hunstanton on the CH3 bus route. I don't have pictures of the yet but when the weather improves I will get off the bus and take a few. I may need to stay over night at a hotel in that instance though as it is a long way to travel from where I live.

I don't work due to my social difficulties and resulting depression (keep bursting into tears and I don't think my employer is going to tolerate that) and I don't want to stay in bored out of my head all day. I like being outside, I love the feeling of movement when it comes to buses and trains, I love traveling and seeing new places so I go out and do that to take my mind off things.

That way I rarely have to interact unless I feel like it, so if I am feeling to upset to socialise I can go somewhere alone until I am done crying/talking to myself then go back to more social activities later. Still can't work though as I know from experience I cant keep hiding in the ladies room so i can cry in peace and quiet...the boss does not like it when you keep disappearing from your duties, even if it is to deal with your depressed/upset/hurt moment because of your social difficulties and loneliness.

Not to mention that other people won't work with me because they don't like me so group work or team work is out due to that. They won't put aside any personal differences or their personal feelings in order to do the job...I will, they won't. I simply can't work under such conditions.

Ergo I am stuck at home on disablement as a result. Why should I stay trapped in the house all day or spend the day in bed. I really don't think either of those things would help me.

As for volunteering that depends on whether or not the other volunteers are going to make my life a misery because I don't fit in or chit chat much or if I can cope with the social interaction that volunteering in group will involve. I find group interaction even more exhausting than one on one.

Also are you saying people will only like my company if constantly masturbate their ego by feigning interest in the mundanity of their existence such as what they had for tea and their social games and dramas (ie who said what to whom, what the local gossip is)?

Maybe I don't want to get involved with their constant social dramas? Perhaps I just wanted some congenial company with whom I share a mutual interest (ie musems, geology, evolution, traveling, photography, art etc)

If all socialising amounts to is being stuck in the middle of the latest piece of erroneous gossip then maybe I am not sure if i want to bother.

I care about people in the sense that I care for their general welfare and will stop and help anyone who needs assistance but being stuck in the middle of their gossip ridden social side show dramas is another matter...