Lately I've been feeling more lonely than ever. I think it's because I've become too conscious of my social status compared to all my cousin's social statuses. My youngest cousin is 11, and even he has more of a social life than I do. My second youngest cousin is 16, and is always staying out with mates, and I know as soon as he reaches 18 he will be into drinking and clubbing. I just know he's that kind of boy with that kind of intention in him. And my other cousins are all young adults now and either have a boy/girlfriend or have a lot of friends and are going on vacations with them. I then take a look at myself and feel that I haven't got a friend in the world to do all those things with, and it's been making me feel depressed.
I don't really have any particular interests where I can join clubs and meet people. Even if I did do that, I doubt I will make friends what will be close enough to start wanting to go on outings and vacations with me. Maybe if I admitted to people how lonely I am, someone might say, ''oh, you ought to come out with me/us some time''. Instead I feel so embarrassed about the lack of friends that I have that I sort of pretend that my social life is more interesting than what it really is.
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Female