how do you control your rage attacks?

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what is your experience with rage attacks? what kind of trouble had it gotten you into? what do you feel when having a rage attacks, and what triggers it?
i pinched another little girl's arm in school because she provoked me, dont remember now what exactly she did. but i wouldnt let go, and i saw a red fog and didnt remember afterward what i did.
i tried slamming a heavy suitcase into a man's head because he touched me (sexual assault) and then him and his friend kept walking. so i ran after them, (i was moving from one house to another). and i went for his head and he ducked, and then i tried slamming the suitcase into the other man, right between the legs, but he backed off. they were scared and walked away. but i could've killed him and ended up in jail.
there are ways to control rage attacks. i learned to control mine http://booksonaspergersyndrome.wordpres ... e-attacks/
what's your experience? and what other methods are there?

WOW, I don't have ASD but my 7 year old daughter has Asperger's and she often has rage attacks. She usually doesn't remember what the person did to anger her or, she thinks that the other person was in the wrong when, in fact, it was just a misunderstanding. My husband went his whole life misdiagnosed with ADHD (he unfortunately committed suicide in 2011) and I remember him having the same issue. He would misinterpret something I said or did and it would be the battle from hell to try and get him to understand what I actually meant. I'm happy for you that you've found ways to manage your rage. I'm hoping I can help my daughter do the same some day.

WOW, I don't have ASD but my 7 year old daughter has Asperger's and she often has rage attacks. She usually doesn't remember what the person did to anger her or, she thinks that the other person was in the wrong when, in fact, it was just a misunderstanding. My husband went his whole life misdiagnosed with ADHD (he unfortunately committed suicide in 2011) and I remember him having the same issue. He would misinterpret something I said or did and it would be the battle from hell to try and get him to understand what I actually meant. I'm happy for you that you've found ways to manage your rage. I'm hoping I can help my daughter do the same some day.

As a kid, and even adult, I guess I couldn't control them.. they'd just happen.

Sometimes when I knew I was going to lose it I'd remove myself from the situation. ie physically turn and walk away to avoid getting into a physical altercation. That's worked a lot.

Other times I'd lose it, then realize I lost it, calm myself and apologize and carry on. Better than that is to realize you're going to lose it, take a few deep breaths, use some meditation techniques and prevent yourself from losing it in the first place if you can. For a while when I was pretty wound up I found that daily meditation helped keep me much calmer.

http://www.freemeditation.com

Mine, which come rarely, are specifically provoked/triggered by injustice being served. More often in defense of another person, as opposed to my own. If someone is wrongly mistreated, it takes everything inside of me, not to tell the person, off. It is hugely impulsive, and I don't give any thought to the proper way of speaking to the person. It is bittersweet, when it happens, as the problem gets addressed, yet, afterward, I deeply regret the tone in which I have taken with the person I am giving a piece of my mind, to. I literally despise seeing others mistreated.

My parents successfully raised me with a lot of their morals of apathy, whippings, and "not my problem" attitude.
As an adult, I control it by realizing that their IQ is probably half of what mine is, and that they probably don't understand what they're doing any more than I do. It is very calming for me. I get set off mostly by people I consider to be my peers doing stupid things.

Hey, it's better to be arrogant than to be a serial killer, amirite?
Actually the IQ thing is usually true....
Now when I see something wrong in this world, I just hyper-process it and solve it for when I take over the world.

it is for me just like you said, I see red and then fly into a rage and explode.
usually there is a grown up around who knows how to talk me down.
They are hard to control cause they happen so suddenly.
I guess just telling myself "don't freak out" has helped some.
I know i don't get them as often as i used to.

Thank you all for answering this question. My daughter, as I explained is 7 years old. She has Aspergers or HFA whatever they recalling it today and, she has such a difficult time controlling her anger. I've been that parent that spanked but, I try really hard not to let my own frustration from not understanding result in spankings which have never proven effective and have actually resulted in a bigger negative reaction from her.

It's interesting and helpful to hear about y'all's personal stories. For that thank you all.

There is only one way: TRY TO AVOID THEM! This means avoid opening yourself too much to people you cannot trust, and be careful even with people you think you can trust.

My therapist taught my parents how to talk me down when I go into meltdown.
that is the only thing i will respond to - the only thing that works.
the first thing i respond to is sympathy. then i will be willing to listen to how to
more constructively deal with the situation. I respond well to structure and we
have a system of accountability that I have to follow.

Ezra, that is fantastic!
Ilovemyaspiegirl: glad to have been of help. In addition, if it helpful to know, I calm down fairly quickly, once the event has ended, and no matter how angry I become with said person, I have never held a grudge against anyone. Perhaps other's here, will say it is a different situation for them, personally. There is something about 'justice' that is of incredible significance to me.

using logic to examine my own thought processes that led up to the anger helps. If i am too deep using disarming self talk to myself or to others, then the logic when i have calmed down so i wont Dwell on the emotion.

I got a massive rage attack when I came home from celebrating New Years. It wasn't pretty. I threw stuff around, ended up damaging a chair and was generally off my mind.

I don't go into rages with others than my inner family, 'cause I'm not comfortable enough around others to get that carried away. I do try to keep from going mental around my family too, but I'm not always successful.

It can be the most ridiculous thing that sets me off. Like with this incident at New Years; my dad was asking me if I might've taken my brother's tiny speaker (as in, instead of my own, 'cause they're pretty alike), I said no, and that his was still in the package (when I left, at least). Then my father proceeded to show me my own speaker, saying something like, "yours is here", which I already knew, and then I was suppost to take something else from that statement, but I couldn't understand what that was. Then he said that sometimes I make it really hard (to say stuff, I guess), like I was not understanding him on purpose, which I wasn't. Apparently what I was supposed to take from this, was that mine was lying there, and his wasn't, therefor it was a logical conclution that I might've taken the wrong one. Which I hadn't denied, so I didn't understand why he was telling me this, and then it proceeded into a huge fight, mainly from my side. And suddenly my father claimed not to have said some of the things I knew he had said, so that made me furious. Now Im feeling I should move out, 'cause I feel horrible.

Last edited by Trontine on 06 Jan 2014, 7:20 am, edited 3 times in total.

That's really great. When I get into a rage, there's no reasoning with me. People trying to calm me down only makes it worse.

There's two people in my family that give me rage attacks, my mom and my sister. Knowing this, I just try to protect myself from them as much as possible. I'm thankful that I have a patient, kind step dad who listens to me and makes me feel calm.

My suggestion is if a rage attack is happening, to be kind, gentle, patient, just listen to feelings and say "let me know what you need. I'm listening. And I'm wanting to help you". My step dad has always taken me down from the ceiling by being understanding like that and not judging me for going off the handle. I usually am in anger because no one was listening to how I was feeling or I was getting ganged up on. So by listening to my feelings, not judging, and attempting to understand me, makes me feel better.

Don't have them.