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I don´t know, if this is typical AS, - but often, when as few as four people talk (me being one of them), I lose track of the conversation.
We move from one subject to another, to a third and halfway back again, - and suddenly the others burst out laughing, - and I am lost and have to have an explanation. I am known as she, who never knows what is going on.
I feel SO stupid.
Very often I have to have an explanation more than once because I either miss something, or totally misunderstand, - more than others......not good at work!
My WAIS test showed a very fast conceptualization, - so I wonder why.
Do I share this with others?

I also find it hard to keep up with conversations with more than 3 people. It feels as if the conversation is going too fast to keep track of the subject, and if there's any background noise I totally lose track of what is said.

Last edited by jetbuilder on 12 Jan 2014, 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I drift off when people are talking to me. I don't mean to, it just happens, then all of a sudden I'm back in the room trying to guess what has just been said to me.

I seem to have got away with it up to now though. I'm pretty unscaved.

Same here. Sometimes feeling stupid when things go fast and at the same time being able to understand/design complex systems for example.

The worst part is when you're in a crowded room and the person talking to you asks a question, but your answer is in response to something said in someone elses conversation

While this specifically has never happened to me yet, I do have problems when I'm trying to communicate between multiple conversations at the exact same time.

Yes, my feeling is, that it sometimes moves too fast, - like I often have to focus on each remark in order not to lose track, - or I drift off, - like Babybird.
Background noise never bothered me.

I tend to be so focused on what I want to say that I tend to bring the conversation back to whatever I want to talk about.

This problem is associated with Executive Function deficits and small working memory, issues common with people on the spectrum.

Having a conversation with one person can be challenging at times for me, nevermind four.

I space out and get lost no matter how many people are in the conversation. So it is easier for me to be in a conversation with more than one person because the others will carry on talking while I space out.

The more people that are talking though the more confusing it is for me to keep up. And it can actually make me feel a little dizzy trying to listen to more than one person talking.

that's probably where being primarily nonverbal is to my advantage.
When im at a table or wherever and there are people carrying on a
conversation, i cant really follow it. Every once in a while it will suddenly
get quiet and someone will call my name and i realize something was directed
at me and it needs to be repeated, and then I usually respond by nodding,
shaking my head or shrugging.

If people stay on topic I'm okay but I have seen groups where several people are talking over each other at a time. I don't even think NTs could follow that mess.

[quote="dianthus"]I space out and get lost no matter how many people are in the conversation. So it is easier for me to be in a conversation with more than one person because the others will carry on talking while I space out.[quote]

Ok, Dianthus. I see, that you have ADHD, inattentive. So have I, alternating with speed-thinking and talking. That probably explains it. (all this is still a bit new)
I´ll just have to think out a reasonable answer to people who get irritated.
Thanks all.

I don't. I'm quite good at listening to conversations and keeping up with them. I just find it hard to join in, because of the fear of being judged or saying something silly.

Being bombarded by a constant barrage of information by multiple sources can be overwhelming, even to neurotypical individuals, and there's nothing to be ashamed about there. While I realize that me saying "Don't feel stupid" really does nothing to help: Don't feel stupid. Accept that you sometimes have issues keeping up with multiple conversations with multiple individuals, and, if you're one of the lucky ones on the spectrum with a good sense of humor, joke about it. It'll make people feel more at-ease than you getting embarrassed, and generally folks will be more than willing to catch you up to the conversation at hand if you explain that sometimes you wonk out when following a train of conversation, and that that's just a thing you have.

There are far worse things than being She, Who Never Knows What Is Going On - own it, laugh about it, and even love it, if you can. It's a part of you, and the absolute last thing you should do with a part of yourself is feel stupid about it.

1-on-1 is ok, add another person, and things go bad.