Anyone have experience talking to a family (of origin) about ASD without hurting them?
For context: My mother sees me as depressive and OCD, but I'm pretty sure approaching her with the information that I think I might be on the ASD spectrum instead would result in her telling me I'm overreacting and should just learn to be myself. However, I'm working on seeking treatment and screening, and she's the only person who would know things like when I start speaking, how my play compared to other children's, etc.
I also have a sister who I'm almost certain is on the spectrum and shuts down whenever I mention my looking into ASD and seeking treatment for myself around her. Since she's usually around my mother (she lives at home), that adds an extra layer of complication to things. Even if I talk to my mother in another room, my sister seems to have ESP for when I might be talking about anything 'abnormal' with anyone in the house. I would never diagnose her or tell her she needs to get treatment, but just suggesting that I might be on the spectrum around her is taken as doing so, for her. She gets teary and stressed and snipes at me. I can understand why; she's unemployed (chasing a dream job) and is feeling the self-hatred of not being able to find work and feeling friendless and uncertain where she fits in the world. I don't want to antagonize her, but I also don't want to have to pretend too much about where I am in my own life around her.
I'm thinking picking a moment to invite my mother out to coffee (or cleaning up my flat and inviting her over to talk) might be the best. Except I bet my sister would catch on to what I was doing there, too! My sister's one of my best friends, and I don't want to alienate her or cause her to shut down entirely.
15 Jan 2014, 1:32 pm
