are there more milder aspie men

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I've wonder about this today,are there more
milder aspie men out there than thought there is.
mild as in ''pass as nt''. I believe men with mild traits,
are most likely,not going to see a doctor to see if something wrong
with them. I believe the aspie men with more severe traits and
behavior issues are going be more likely diagnosis,usually
because their parents or teacher send them to a doctor.

If you can "pass" as neurotypical, chances are, you're neurotypical.

If you're autistic, it's going to come out over time and you're going to be seen as an oddball. Whether it's minutes, hours, weeks or a couple of months, people will notice, even though they probably won't know what they're seeing is autism.

I don't doubt there are a lot of undiagnosed autistic adults still oblivious to their condition, who have simply accepted that whatever is wrong with them that makes them such social and professional failures, they're just flaws in their own individual personality. I was one of them.

But the people around me knew I was not 'normal,' and they didn't hesitate to point it out, so I wasn't "passing for NT."

And I don't believe there is any such animal as "mild autism." There are just more sophisticated levels of coping mechanisms.

Just curious, how can you tell if someone “passes” for being neurotypical?

I ask, because, to my knowledge, I have never come across anyone who is Autistic or has Aspergers (other than in the movies). Interestingly, I have worked in the tech industry for > 20 years. My guess is that I have come across people who are Autistic or has Aspergers, I just never realized it.

By the way, growing up, I thought I was the only normal person. I thought my peers were a bit odd. Go figure.

i still feel this way as if im the only rational person also iv been told "im not that bad" but people do get an odd vibe from me as people have said to me im a bit weird at times

Last edited by kazma on 17 Jan 2014, 9:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I fall in this category. My friend don't really believe me when I tell them I've been diagnosed... except for a girl I liked in college who brought be to a dance where I got massively overstimulated and had a meltdown.

When I was younger my symptoms were more pronounced. I would have screaming fits when My parents or relatives tried to hug me and I didn't like being touched in general. I think socialization might have been a special interest of mine. I recently booted up my old dell and I had spreadsheets listing social interactions and socialization flow charts I had created.

I read an article when I was 8 or so about a girl with ultrasensative hearing and the way they "cured" her was to put her in a room with extremely loud sound for hours and not let her out. After a while she acclimated and or became partially deaf which allowed her to function more as normal. I applied that lesson to myself by putting myself in situations where I would be forced to be touched/hugged and eventually I became able to tolerate or even reciprocate in those situations. While Most people see me as being NT I definitely don't for bonds the way NT's do because Nt's seem to be able to re-initiate old relationships and once I am out of the immediate setting that forms a connection with an NT they seem to want little to do with me. I have trouble with relationships because those kind of interactions are hard to observe.

I pass as NT. And I have AS. So there.

I come from a family where everyone has traits. Me and my mom are the only two who are severe enough to get a diagnosis. Our social functioning is very limited. Even I am mild and can function well enough to have friends and sexual/romantic relationships and a job. I think there is a cutoff between "having traits" and being on the spectrum. I think it all depends on how severely the autism traits affect your daily life, how many traits you have, and how strong those traits are.

For me, even being mild resulted in bullying, low self-esteem, confusion, hurt feelings, and a learned phobia of social interactions. That's why I don't believe in mild AS. Being on the spectrum in any form is a debilitating condition.

I think mild is like buffinator said. We have severe symptoms early in life but we learn to function over time so that eventually we fit in well enough to function in society. However, we are never normal. There is always something "off" about us.

I go to an support group and most of the men in the groups you can see the signs of aspergers/autism a mile away. I can pass as NT myself but engaging in small talk is a dead give-away that I am odd or otherwise socially defective. I just love talking about science fiction as of late and it tends to dominate almost any conversation I initiate unless I force myself to change topics. That and I don't really understand hidden meanings or sarcasm 90% of the time, which doesn't help anything. I'm pretty sure autism/aspergers is always visible in some aspect of our lives.

Considering AS wasn't recognized in the USA until 1994 AND even then the focus was almost entirely on kids and teens, I'd say a lot of men who may have AS could be misdiagnosed with some other comorbid OR just considered "eccentric" or "weird" by others in their community. All of those MAY be mild on the AS spectrum.

Oh yes, for sure. I know a few who can act NT quite well, but I can still see some aspie traits in them. They seem borderline autistic.

I believe the more milder aspie men wouldn't go to support
group.I believe support group have a more bias selection
of members(the more severe,unattractive,more nerdy aspie males
tend to join them)

when I went to support groups,there would be 10 males,all
nerds,2 females,and both females acted ''normal''

Most cases of Asperger's fall in the mild range (basic statistics dictate this, given that it's not a black/white question), but a lot of people seem to be missing what "mild" means. People with mild AS look normal, but have several hidden problems that won't appear on the surface just like that. Furthermore, if you get to know these people, you'll see after a few hours that they're not normal per se.

It was stressed during my screening that I was a mild case. I did not at all live a normal life during my teens and early 20's, and I can't work in a job that requires good social skills and multitasking, for instance.

Hmmm...How do we know that more people (i.e. especially neurotypical men) don't also suffer from the above. Maybe, secretly, they have the same doubts. But they just hide it better (and not to discuss it or think about it).

You're forgetting that for many who went thru stuff like that, they weren't diagnosed until they were adults, well past their 20s, even past their 30s.

That's the problem. There can be people whose traits are so mild, so borderline, that nobody notices and they never get ID'd and get help that might make at least some thngs better for them while they're growing up.

It is possible to have "mild leanings" towards autism, and yet nobody picks up on it. Not good, but it happens.

Attempts were made to diagnose me when I was very young, but they didn't know enough about it at the time - I was "too smart". For the most part, I was in mainstream schooling (which was both good and bad - I developed social skills, but was a victim of bullying), with some extra help to catch up (and eventually get ahead) in reading. I was finally diagnosed with HFA in high school, but for most situations I can blend in. A few things I struggle with - especially recognizing faces, and trying to flirt is completely out of the question.

I received my diagnosis because I couldn't figure out this triangle puzzle, even after being shown it. There are some types of thinking I just can't do and If I try too hard I actually can get a nosebleed. But on other subjects I'm almost savant. Until the puzzle the doctor was telling me he didn't think I was AS even though a separate research test from a different group showed that I was.