Your reaction to something I experienced?

Post Reply New Topic

Recently I was somewhere that had a PA system being used. I'd been working it.

Someone decided they wanted the low volume music that was playing in the auditorium turned off, and I missed them trying to signal me.

A couple people got my attention and I turned to the control box, only to see someone else who had NOTHING to do with the PA workings going toward it. I told them the number of the dial that controlled the music, but instead of turning down that one this person shut down the master volume control.

I asked "Did he ask you do do that?"

"No, he just wanted someone to do it, so I did it."

"Well," I replied, "We're not supposed to touch the master. I'm not even sure where the dial was set so I don't know how to get it back where it was, and we need it working later."

The other party immediately took a nutty.

"I've worked with stuff like this for a real long time! You don't have to be such a CONTROL FREAK!! !!"

My gaskets were immediately blown, and instead of replying in any way, I turned and walked away.

I spoke a few minutes later to a responsible person, who's also related to this other individual.

I was told the "helpful" person is suspected of having Asperger's.

Any comments regarding my reaction or theirs?

The guy was an @$$ and that has nothing to do with AS.

He shouldn't have taken it upon himself to touch anything, since you were already there. He should have just come in and delivered the message and gone about his business. Having worked around audio equipment for years, I consider it a cardinal sin to walk into another producer's studio and start adjusting things willy-nilly. I would expect to get beyotch-slapped if I did that, and I'd well deserve it.

Why would he have thought I was being a "control freak"?

(I've asked a few friends who know I may be on the spectrum, and the closest they've come is to say 'You do like to do things a certain way, but you're no control freak'.)

I had a similar situation happen to me with a soundboard as well actually. Willard is right, he should not have touched it Aspie or not. Why he called you a control freak? I do not know but that is his issue not yours. As far as I can tell you did not do anything wrong. There could have been more clear and concise communication on the parts of everyone but I don't see that you did anything wrong.

YES YES YES ! !! ! 100%

I have to take the other side on this one: If you have been doing this for such a long time, can you not figure out where the master control is to go after it has been moved? Where is the tragedy here?

For starters, it was him who said he's been "doing stuff like this for a long time", not me.

You're not quite paying attention to the account.

As for the setting of the master control, it was already explained above. The master control is never touched, so we don't deal with it. (You skipped that part too, right?)

Why would I know the setting of a dial we NEVER use?

And what is this "figure out" you're talking about? You need to know, not guess. Experiment until you get an approximate excuse for the original setting? In an empty room, maybe, after much trial and error, but not when the minutes are counting down 'til the next time the thing has to be up and running correctly.

Also, the question isn't what position the dial needed to be in.

The question is why would he nearly scream at me and accuse me of being a control freak when I asked why he was working the controls and explained that dial is never touched?

Did he not like being told he'd caused trouble? Did he not like being spoken to because he'd gotten involved in something he had no authority over and was just using bluster to cover?

Ummm...

Do YOU tend to get involved in other people's things without asking first?

Sounds like a normal exchange between two people aspie or NT.
He as being a jerk and overstepping his bounds.
I think he called you a control freak because you were rightfully reminding him of the boundary he broke.
Really nbd as i see it.

So you wouldn't advise burning at the stake?

Sethno are you actually asking why or do you want these things not to happen?

just someone trying to be alpha this stuff will happen now and again just one of there silly "social games" most are all bark and no bite you were in the right by the way

Ok, my bad, but why be so condescending? I have AS too but I have been taught by my parents not to "talk down" to people.



There must be a manual. Besides whatever happened to set it halfway and adjust from there? That's what refrigerator manufacturers recommend when you get a new refrigerator.



Again, why talk down to people here? I know it is perhaps an aspergers trait and is something I work on. Why don't you?



Tell him not to scream at you. To me, being screamed at is more distressing than the dial not being in the same position.



Well, my elderly mother sure does. Its a common thing that happens with seniors. Maybe this happened at a senior citizens center?

I haven't been talking down to anyone. You're coming across as doing the same type of thing he did, only to a lesser degree. I point out your error. That does not make me the bad guy, not does it mean I'm talking down to anyone. You however have been told you were wrong about something, and don't like it; naturally you say I'm talking down to you.

Both, probably.

You are very good at finding what other people could be doing that is wrong. And many times, you will be right. Not every time, though. If you want fewer confrontations, you could try coming on more like a person addressing another person, rather than bulldozing. Because you are talking down at people, and often, they will mirror back what comes across as an attack.

You started this thread and understandably want validation, which you mostly got. One person questioned you. Did you start sending him private messages he should not post as you did to me in another thread you started? And do you understand you really SCARED me? Coming on this strong may be necessary sometimes, but there is the alternative of analyzing the situation and having a more proportional response. Or even accepting that sometimes, people have other opinions that seem irrational and wrong and we are all better off not starting too many wars.

When we open our minds to the possibility that someone else may see something we do not, we open ourselves not just to attack, but to growth and change and sometimes good things can happen. It is usually harmless to listen. And much less embarrassing than going on about what we think we know when it turns out, sometimes, that we are wrong. Try listening to someone you do not agree with tonight, it may feel strange at first, but just listen first. There's no need to agree after you do so. Just listen.