Social games

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Perhaps this is just a bit of depression on my part, or maybe I am just tired or maybe I have just reached the end of my tether with it all, but do you ever find yourself feeling fed up with all the social games people play out there?

Gossiping, bitching, competing for social status, trying to be trendy and so on...

Wouldn't it be nice if people could just communicate in a straight forward but understanding way (I say understanding as people often use the excuse of communicating in a straight forward way to say things they know the other person is going to find hurtful...it is one thing to do so in error, it's another to just not care) instead of playing all the games with all the hidden messages.

It's my recent feeling that this is what makes finding a friend or relationship so difficult. All the game playing.

I don't know as I can be bothered with it anymore. It feels like it shouldn't be this hard. Yet it is.

Maybe I'm just lucky?
I make relationships with people who don't play social games for the most part...although I guess definition of 'game' may vary. And it's never been 100% no on the social games I suppose. Sometimes one just hates someone and so you'll hurt them in 'social games' ways because it's the only way you can without getting charged with assault. But really, I get turned off by social hierarchy and gossip etc.

And I don't exactly have lot of relationships either, downright paltry number compared to social butterflies. But it's enough for me, socially.

Why do people want to hurt someone because they don't like them?

I can understand feeling a desire to lash back at someone who has intentionally hurt you (even you don't indulge said desire, I understand why someone might feel it) but why would a person want to hurt another just because they don't have compatible personalities?

Qawer can answer that one best I think.

This is why I avoid socializing altogether... I don't understand it either!

Might as well get used to it, human society is dominated by nuerotypicals and that's just they way they like it.

The best you can do is keep to yourself and avoid NT contact as much as possible. I got lucky and found a career that allowed me to work alone 95% of the time, but avoiding the office socializing only made it easier for the gabby NTs to conspire against me and use me as a scapegoat to throw under the proverbial bus when they found themselves threatened.

Even among the fringe geeks and weirdos I chose to do my limited socializing with, there were drama queens in constant need of attention and petty manipulators who got some personal malevolent delight out of watching others embroiled in turmoil and conflict. You can't ever escape it entirely. Eventually you just become so cynical it ceases to have any meaning or effect.

They can only hurt you, if you care.

I took me many years to discover that is generally just the way group social behavior operates. Not always, but too often it seems.

I was particularly amazed to discover that people will actually put forth the effort to concoct and spread lies about someone they dislike. I was dismayed that I was the target of such a smear campaign. Oh well, lesson learned - even if it did take me 50 years to figure it out.

So now I try to be more discerning about the type of people with whom I associate - with the result that my social circle has become quite small. But it works well for me because my social needs are comparatively small. In fact too much social interaction gets me over-stimulated with undesirable results.

Yes, i'm pretty much over it. I used to make huge attempts to be social, nice, join clubs, be supportive , understanding etc. but came to the conclusion a hell of a lot of people are just out for themselves. As some one else noted some people put in an extraordinary amount of energy and time into bitching, gossiping, manipulating, brown-nosing and playing games: no wonder our best efforts often result in zero net gain.

I just try to hang around people who treat me right. they're out there, but they're often hard to find.

Gossiping and competition is especially distasteful to me, and I've experienced it in the workplace before. I have to wonder if it's ever worth the cost to trust and teamwork to trash talk coworkers behind their back. Thankfully, I've been able to avoid it this time around.