Salespeople...

Post Reply New Topic

So today I was at a large pet store to obtain litter and timothy hay for my soon to be roommate guinea pigs. I don't have them yet, i am just collecting the required items before I adopt from rescue. Anyway, i am in pet store with my ear plugs in as I always have when in retail establishments. I hear someone speaking behind me, I turn, it is salesperson asking if I require assistance. I say no. -I am able to hear enough through the earplugs to understand what is being spoken to me if the person is close.

Now, I don't like this sort of exchange at stores but I know it is the job of the persons working on the floor to do this. It is okay. I expect it to happen and am fine with simply telling them I do not require assistance.

But evidently for this salesperson, my 'no' was not sufficient. Suddenly I feel a hand resting on my shoulder. It is salesperson standing extremely close, hand on my shoulder, making some joke about the large quantity of items to choose from in this establishment. I flinch, do my nervous half-laugh because that is what I do when my brain locks up from unexpected stimuli, he goes away. *shudder*

That is not ever okay. For any person, autistic or otherwise. Never ever.

I can't imagine how anyone thinks that touching a stranger (beyond a courtesy handshake) is acceptable, but there are obnoxious types who seem to think they're bonding with you by clapping their hand onto your arm or shoulder, like they've been your buddy forever.

To me it feels like an act of aggression, like they're trying to initiate a fistfight. I hate that even more than I dislike huggers. At least unsolicited hugs don't come off as a threat of violence.

Totally out of line for anybody, you are right about that. Ick.

I agree. It's not okay to do that to anyone. I work as a salesperson myself. It is rude to persist after a person says "no." And it is totally unacceptable to touch someone that way.

In my current job I don't actually sell to customers, I sell to store owners and managers, but I come in contact with a lot of customers while I am working. In the last few weeks I've had 2 customers touch me unexpectedly. Both were men and both grabbed at me from behind. One had already been talking to me, joking around in a way that made me very nervous, and grabbed me as I was walking away as if to stop me. The other hadn't been talking to me at all and grabbed at me to get my attention to ask me a question. Both times I was really stunned and surprised and didn't know what to do. I just got away from them as quickly as possible. I am scared if I say anything back to people like that they might cause trouble for me or try to hurt me. It is hard enough just to do the actual functions of my job without having to deal with things like this.

Sometimes the people who work in the stores come up to me and touch me too. They will put their hand on my shoulder, or put their arm all the way around me and hug me. I just kind of freeze up. I don't like it but I tolerate it because I don't know what else to do. It's very disorienting to me to be touched like that, it stuns me. It's also hard for me to tell the difference between it being a friendly gesture, or flirting. I am always scared of what might happen if someone flirts with me and I don't recognize it. I don't really know how to address it anyway but I know from experience, if I don't somehow put a stop to it, it will get worse.

I have had a lot of jobs in retail and I think most companies train their salespeople to be overbearing in some way. My company has told us specifically to never take no for an answer, get in people's faces and be noticed, things like that. Those tactics never work, they just alienate people and I really resent being expected to behave that way as part of doing my job. It is not necessary to be pushy to be a good salesperson.

I hate it when I am shopping, and the salespeople keep pestering me wanting to know if I need help. Some places are really bad about having their people do that. Asking once is enough. It's even worse though when they try to make conversation.

All's fair in Love, War, and Sales.



apparently...

I hate sales people in general. Spontaneous conversation... uck. They seldom know the answers to my questions, and most the time the conversation boils down to trying to sell me something I don't want.

Not really knowing you, that salesperson was attempting to form a bond with you likely in order to sell you more product. Perhaps he is payed on commission, perhaps his boss has instructed him to do that, or perhaps he really just wants to sell some product. Regardless, he crossed a line he didn't know existed with you, and likely suffered because of it.

While people shouldn't make assumptions about what other people like or dislike, people will do this, especially in the interests of seeming "friendly." My best advice for when someone crosses one of these lines with you is for you to take a deep breath to calm your mental panic reflex, turn, make eye contact if possible, and tell them sternly that you'd prefer not to be touched, or to have whichever offending behavior they've displayed occur. They may react strangely, or take affront to this, but you can be damn sure they won't do it again.

Generally, not panicking if possible and standing up for oneself achieves a more desirable reaction and result than anything else you could possibly do.

This is good advice, and it's what I always INTEND to do in those type of situations, but for some reason I am not able to do it in the moment that it happens. I just have a total brain freeze and a delayed reaction. It's along the same lines of how I won't think of a witty comeback to something until 6 hours after the conversation, so I don't think it's just the panic that stops me.

Yeah, that's not very good. Especially if it's by surprise. A handshake is different because you can see it coming. The worst are the loudmouthed types that go around slapping other people on the back. If that happened I would probably let out a noise...

touching like that is very cultural. In rural areas and the south touching someone you are talking to to form a connection is almost mandatory and they will take offense if you refuse.