So I want to try and make a long story short, but whenever I say that, I jinx myself and I end up writing a massive long wall of text, because I go off on a tangent.
2011 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after mental health complaints for a couple of years before that. I felt it didn't completely sum me up and how strange I am and everything I do and say in life. Something is still missing.
Last year I read up on Aspergers and such, and it fit me, so I spoke to my psychiatrist about it at the time and she said she thinks I do have it. Nothing more was said on the matter, I don't think she cared, because I took information in on the next appointment about AS and she said she would read it, never did.
I gave up on her, and gave up on the idea that Aspergers was the reason I'm such an eccentric character.
This year again, someone posted on Facebook about women with Aspergers, and wow did it sum up my life even more!
I hear a lot of the time that BPD and Aspergers go hand in hand a lot, because of the stress dealing with Aspergers, develops a personality disorder later in life, which makes an awful lot of sense.
I was bullied terribly because I was such a strange child, and 4 out of 5 days a week I would never really bother going to school because I hated dealing with being around people, let alone the miserable time of being bullied. I just really don't enjoy peoples company as someone else usually would.
Anyways, I made an appointment with the doctor last week, and spoke about it today, and she (the doctor) validated me so much. She said that it's often Aspergers goes undiagnosed in females because it's more 'viewable' on the surface in males. I guess females when they're children, they're just often seen as shy, whereas male children are often outgoing, so when a boy is relucant to play with other children, it's more obvious.
As I say, I really felt validated that she brought up that females are underdiagnosed than males.
She has referred me to a team where they assess and diagnose Aspergers (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and now I just have to wait on a letter for them.
I guess now it's likely that I'll be diagnosed if she thought it would be better to refer me to the team. Obviously I do have a case here, otherwise she'd probably send me packing saying it's just the depression and anxiety or something.
What I want to do now is learn more about myself, learn more into Aspergers. Even if I'm not diagnosed, I'd like to learn anyway, as I have quite a few friends with Aspergers and would like to understand them better.
On a whole, I want to understand everyone better. People are too hard to figure out.
Thank you for reading this.
24 Jan 2014, 4:22 pm
