What is it like to be in a psych ward for being suicidal?

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I have been severely depressed for a long while, and have been contemplating suicide just as long. I need help, and I want help, but I am broke. I am 18, a senior in high school, and living on my own (was kicked out). I just can't bring myself to ask the family that kicked me out for help. My family is not abusive nor negligent, they were against my drug use (really strict father). Hell, I don't even know the first step to "getting well" and finding mental health care.

I have an identical twin brother, but we are polar opposites, despite us both having ASD. The only family member I can talk to is my older sister, and I am very open with her. She is concerned, and suggested the idea of going to the hospital if all else fails.

If I keep self harming drastically, and have one more night where I really want to kill myself, I might just walk up straight to the hospital. Sounds dramatic, but I still have family, and I don't want them hurt more by my death. I just can't think rationally when I get into the stupor of suicide.

An example is I am an alcoholic, smoke more bud than Tommy Chong, and smoke over a pack a day. Yeah... I am pretty compulsive, and being upset and irrational does not help my case.

I hope it doesn't come to me having to go there, but does anyone have an experience they would like to share? Also, any advice would be helpful to find low cost mental health care.

Edit: I added a few more details. I appreciate all the replies so far.

It's not 'fun' by any means, but they will keep you safe until they feel you're ready to be released. That might mean the police taking you in handcuffs to the county psych ward, where you spend several hours handcuffed to a chair in the waiting room, before you're finally chained to a bed in a giant room full of severely disturbed people.

And they can legally keep you there for 72 hours (I think?), and longer if they have reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others. In my case, no one forced meds on me, but in the end they agreed to let me go if I would take one antidepressant pill as a gesture of good faith.

In short... Not a fun experience, but they do keep you alive, and it's a safe place to be if you're truly feeling like there's no other option. I'm sorry you're feeling so low, and hope things get better for you!

well i can only speak for canada, i was put in the adolescent psych ward for contemplating suicide last year, i stayed there for 3 days but for 24 hours i had to stay in my room (which was boring as all hell) and had to stay in a hospital gown, after the 24 hours i was aloud to wear my own Pjs and clothes and i was aloud to leave my room during the day (but not the ward) i had 3 meals a day of my choice and i could play video games and watch TV after 6pm to 9pm. i could talk to the other patients on the ward (in my case it was just one other patient, the other two were sick) i had some interviews with about three doctors and they all thought i had ADHD and OCD.

you should go to a doctor and ask to be admitted. they can help you.

Hi Plagued,

I am really sorry to hear that you are experiencing the things you are. I can relate. It's really tough to go at it on your own and hospitals can seem so overwhelming especially if you haven't been to one before for this reason. They aren't as bad as they seem and most really want to help you the best they can. I don't know what location you are hailing from, but if you are in the States, you can walk into any emergency room of a hospital that has a mental health ward and ask for help. I would tell them that you have been feeling suicidal and that you are worried about another night alone.

They will have you wait till they have a room in the ER available and will have a doctor talk to you about what is going on. Be honest and let them know that you have been doing self harm and that you are fearful of what might come next. The only way they can help is if you let them know.

They will assign you a case worker who will help you apply for financial assistance for medical and whatever else you may need to be able to survive. They will also help you get connected with care after your stay. The average stay is 3-5 days. They won't solve your problems, but they will help you find the resources and get you stable enough to attend those resources.

If you find it too difficult to go alone, I would call a family member and have them meet you at the hospital. That or many areas have a suicide hotline where you can talk to a trained individual who may be able to find you the support you need to be able to go. No one will think poorly of you for doing this. It's a very brave act to admit that you need help and to ask for it.

You shouldn't put this off till you are in that mood again, as you stated you aren't thinking clearly at that moment. So do it now while you are.

It is extremely common for people on the spectrum to contemplate suicide. I've had my days as well, so don't be ashamed for asking for help. I really hope that you take action for your own health and well being. I will look forward to seeing you again after you have gotten some help.

I've never been in a mental institution, but I have a close friend who has had many mental health inpatient experiences due to suicidal thoughts/attempting suicide, and based on what she has told me, it is not exactly a fun experience. However, as others have said, it will be a place where you will be safe from harming yourself, so if you are feeling suicidal, it is worth it. Death is so very final. It was a major breakthrough for my friend when she became capable of recognizing when she was a danger to herself and was able to commit herself voluntarily during dangerous times, rather than being committed involuntarily after being found after a suicide attempt. It takes a strong person to do that, and I am lucky that my friend is that strong, because it means she is still here today. Please seek help.

Do you know you can email [email protected]?

They have volunteers who ask questions about how you're feeling.

Talking about suicide is something they specialise in.

Well, my friend gets put in a mental hospital sometimes for being depressed and suicidal. He describes it as being boring, but I haven't asked very much about it I think, but if I did, I forgot.

I swallowed 48 sleeping pills with Michelob beer. I eventually passed out and ended up in an acute care hospital where my stomach was pumped. Afterwards I was transferred to a psych hospital for two months. That was one of the lowest points of my life. The psych hospital had issues, like the aides abused the non-compliant residents when no one was watching. But I suppose it saved my life. I wouldn't want to go back, though. Still, I always feel depressed. I could never say I'll never go back. At least now I know what to expect.

Many high schools have counselors and social workers. They would have information about mental health care in your area.

School staff may be upset if you choose to share your concerns about suicide and alcoholism but that doesn't mean they can't help with information about available services---and hopefully they do care and can show it!

Same as any mental hostel visit -- you just are watched a lot more if suicidal.

Meaning, like hospital ("hospital" being of varying levels of comfort based on various factors).

Disorienting
Intrusive
Ignored

Just my experience a very long time ago.

You are 18. Are you really at that point where you truly need to hospitalize yourself? Because if you do, that is going to be on your record forever and that could affect all kinds of things down the road. I suggest you avoid hospitalization and all forms of institutionalization, if you still have the strength... Yes, the hospital is there if you need it, but wouldn't it be so much better to just ask your parents to take you back for a while until your depression starts to clear up, since they want to help you anyway? If you tell them you want to check yourself into a hospital, they will listen up!


Hello again...just wanted to add there are a lot of free suicide hotlines across the country that you can call..... For example, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. Know that they WILL trace your call and send an ambulance if they think you are on the verge of suicide. But aside from that, they are trained to help you sort your feelings out or just listen.

It sort of depends on the facility....last time I was in a psych ward for being suicidal it really wasn't too bad. A bit boring at times but that's to be expected since you're stuck in the hospital and its easy to run out of ways to occupy yourself. Basically I told my therapist I was feeling suicidal and we went from there I ended up going to the ER and then the psych ward of another hospital from there.

Basically the idea is its a safe, secure environment to become more stabilized mentally so you can be discharged. Where I was after I was off the 72 hour hold they put me on I was able to go for scheduled walks with the staff, and I was allowed to go to the off unit cafeteria. Aside from that there were groups to talk about issues and such and sometimes group activities. They also should help you figure out a follow up plan for when you get discharged, like help set you up with therapy and meds and such.

But yeah its certainly a last resort....it is a good option though if you feel like you're unsafe and might harm yourself.

I was in the hospital when I was 10 and 13. I don't really know what the value of being there was other than to remove me from the situation and prescribe me medication that made me have violent outbursts. The thing that really made a difference from me was the composition of the other patients. My first time it was a bunch of cliquey people who made me feel like s**t. The second time it was only 4 others and I and we were very friendly and I almost didn't want to leave but then I had a trippy experience and wanted out asap.

After the second visit my parent's told me the insurance notified them that it wouldn't pay for me to be put away again and so I resolved to stop talking about it. I'm still suicidal but my plan is just to not try to stop myself from dying if it is happening anyways.

If you feel like you can't be safe around yourself any longer check yourself in by all means, and try to talk to the staff there if you can manage see if anyone knows of any therapists nearby you can go to that operate for people who don't have as much (I used to be able to see a regular therapist on a sliding scale for about 5 bucks a visit so it wasn't to bad and I could make an appointment any time I wanted.)

What it's like inside varies from place to place, but they normally just watch you, take away anything you can harm yourself with have some doctors talk to you there's maybe a T.V set you can watch there or some books/magazines, it's not terrible but it's not amazing either, some places are better then others.

I hope you get the help you need,

I have never been in a psychiatric ward but my mum was. She said they were not very nice but then that was back in the 80s in the UK. Personally I am too used to my independence and living on my own (even if I do need financial support as I am unable to work due to my issues) to be able to cope in a hospital so I would tend to avoid such a thing if possible. I don't think I could cope with being around people 24 hours a day for more than a few days at a time at most and certainly not people who could become violent or whom I feel uncomfortable around because they are disturbed in ways that don't make sense to me. I have a hard enough time figuring people out as it is because they are often illogical and irrational.

I have never found anyone who understands me in mental health support groups and their treatments are often detrimental for me so I suspect that time in a psyche ward would not benefit me.

The therapist that I saw yesterday did at least pick up on the fact that I don't hate myself though...kudos, she is one of the first people to actually notice that I LIKE most of my quirks (I don't like the yelling and head hitting when I get upset though). I'm gobby sometimes when I sound off mid meltdown (more likely to rant to myself about what I am upset rather than scream at other people as doing such can frighten them and I don't like upsetting anyone), and I may sometimes think about suicide, but as I don't act on it these days (there were a few overdoses as a teen but I grew out of doing that) and I am not prone to committing crime, taking drugs, don't drink often, don't self harm (other than head hitting and hair pulling when I am very very very very upset and I prefer to avoid doing that if I can as I don't really want to damage my head in any way) etc they don't usually suggest I spend time in one anyway. They usually think I am too rational and send me home.