Anyone Else Like This?

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I've always wondered if anyone else diagnosed with Autism feels this way. Growing up before my diagnosis I honestly thought I was just an A hole but I've been told time and time again by the medical professionals that this is a part of my ASD. The things that strike me odd or different are as follows;

I have no desire at all to connect to others or have others around me.
I never had a longing to be with someone or share special moments with anyone. Completely 100% fine being alone ALL the time. I do have a partner but she understands these feelings of mine thankfully.
I have no compassion or empathy at all. When someone cries, I do not care. In fact I find it a bother because I just don't get it and that makes me frustrated. I don't care for people complaining about their day or any situations in general. Honestly, I don't really care about anyone's emotions and I just don't get them. In my mind if something is a problem fix it. I do not understand depression at all. Sorry, I've just never understood it. It makes no sense at all to me.
I feel like I am in my own world and everything and everyone outside of it is a waste of time.
I don't have melt downs in the sense of acting out. Instead I act in. Vision and hearing become like a tunnel miles away and I just go into myself. Especially if my routine is forced to change.
Honestly, I've always felt good about myself and just viewed what everyone calls the NT world or society as just something I don't care about.
Also, I feel like I just act out a set script in order to get all of this stuff done so I can go back to focusing on things in my own perspective / world.
Obviously there are lot of ASD characteristic beside this but these are the things in particular that I wonder if other people with ASD feel as well?
Keep in mind there is no reason for feeling about behaving in the opposite way as these things. I just don't get them or care to. No offense intended.

Yes, these are similar to some of my traits. I don't understand depression either, and I have felt generally good about myself too, and what other people do that is different from what I do is something that I don't care about, but learn to deal with so I can do what I want to do in my life.

I can relate to most of it – not wanting to connect, preferring solitude, not caring much about the NT world, or anything outside my own head.

Though weirdly enough I do care very deeply about other people's feelings – I just lack the ability to interpret social cues, so I don't know what anyone is feeling, unless they tell me in a straightforward way.

Same here. I have empthay and lots of compassion. I am really justice driven.

i can relate to the "own little world" thing but everything else just sounds cold, i have a very very warm big heart, and i want to belong to a group and fit in with a crowd, i have intense feelings for people i admire, everyone else is unpredictable and scary to me. i always want to do things to make people like me but i never know what to do and screw things up.

Justice confuses me too. I understand laws and I guess a non emotional version of justice but I don't understand justice with emotions or when people don't follow laws / rules. For example with how in the states generally money will get you a lesser sentence or if you are a male or female. An example of this would be I once worked with two people (male and female who were dating each other). They both robbed over 100 houses and vehicles together in the state I was living in. The girl came from a richer family and was female. The male was poor and a male. The girl got 1 year in a state prison while the male got 10 years in a federal prison. People call this justice because they say the girl didn't know what she was doing. She was just a girl in love even though she was actually the one stealing and selling the goods while the male was just stealing and not selling. According to emotional justice she gets a smaller sentence because she is a woman and because she was in love. How is this justice? This is a legit thing that happened and I never really understood it. Justice should be without emotion and corruption from money shouldn't it?

I can understand how it seems cold and I can understand how people seem unpredictable and scary. Emotions from others are unpredictable and scary to me. I have a range of emotions but I've always thought or felt that they are very limited compared to others. There are things that I do get emotional about but they are not related to people. I am fascinated with writing and music. When I play, compose, or write I do feel what I think is a full range of emotions. I just don't really feel that way or want a connection to the NT world.

I'm not diagnosed, but as you're familiar, I strongly suspect ASD.

I relate very closely to much of what you said. I am quite apathetic towards people. If I try to comfort someone, it isn't out of sympathy, but out of expectation.

The only times I think I even appear to be concerned about others' well-being is when I'm afraid they might injure themselves seriously, in which case it's just my instinct to protect because other people will. No one should kill themselves/try but often no one else will take concern for these distressed individuals. It's just not right to let them go unnoticed. My overwhelming sense of justice usually leads me to babysit people until they are appearing more stable. Aside from that, I tend to be indifferent.

I was always a bit overweight as a kid, yet I was very confident in how I looked. At the same time, though, I've always been aware of outside expectations for how I should look. Hoping to please the few people who mean anything to mean, I metaphorically sighed and lost some weight. I feel just as confident as I was before, though. Why would I want to "get skinny" and look some prepubescent skinny girl who has yet to hit puberty?...(no offense to naturally thin women, I'm just justifying my reasons for liking my curvy body)

I don't want friends, or rather, I don't give a damn. But I sometimes put in the effort, simply because I feel like not putting in the effort to make friends means I'm a bad, heartless person. In fact, I don't take any judgments of me to heart, except when they solely attack who I am as a person, because it makes me question whether or not it's true. Of course I think I'm a good person, but I know I have a lot of views that aren't quite "right", so if someone tells me I have a flaw, I take it as gospel. Because, why would you ever say something that awful to someone unless it were really true?
Does that make sense?

Also, as a child I had countless emotional meltdowns, but from high school onward I turned to self-destructive means to regulate my emotions, rather than screaming and weeping. Not sure if that falls in line with what you're describing, though.

All of these are reason I think a diagnosis is important for me to seek. If it's really ASD, my life would make so much more sense, and I could work on improving myself with the understanding that I am not a bad person. If it's not, well....I need a lot of therapy and have to try even harder than I have my whole life to like people and please them, I guess.


**extra note: for me "justice" refers to my personal morals and what is (in my eyes) obviously right or wrong, not like, laws and rules.

This is what it means to me as well.

I second this except i prefer one or two friends over a crowd or group. I would be happy with just a life partner. A best friend as well would be a bonus. That is ample socialising for me.

I also care about others feelings/suffering/pain even if i don't always know how to show it. Sometimes if I am depressed myself I also cannot cope with it but I still feel all the same.

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I do desire special moments with someone. One special person. I think it would be incredibly beautiful. I dream of this. But I still don't want lots and lots of friends as although I can enjoy sometimes being social with people I really really like and have bonded with, I really do not like socialising just for the sake of it.

Wow you just wrote my life. Sometimes I act in though, and sometimes I act out, crying and crying. I used to have anger problems but I really try and stop myself doing that now.

I would like a partner, but I can't connect or attach to anyone, not even friends. I'm not even connected or attached to my family. I am attached to my dogs though, I would go as far to say I love them, I miss them when I'm away for a few days, and I am very happy to see them when I'm home.

I like being alone like yourself, and I like lots and lots of space with people. I can't stand it when the same people message me on Facebook a lot just because they see me online.

There's only one close friend who I can talk to every day, but we've always got something to talk about, and we don't really say goodnight much and just continue saying things here and there throughout the day. They have respected in the past when I have wanted some alone time though, great friend.