So there's this guy that I'd like to get to know better. However, we're struggling with actually holding a conversation.
We've only known each other a bit - about 2 months. For the longest time, I thought he was the problem - that he wasn't trying hard enough. He'd start a conversation, but somehow, it'd always end abruptly, and I was left wondering what went wrong. So after analyzing some past conversations and with the help of my friend doing the same, we've realized I'm probably showing signs of disinterest to him. So now I'm planning to try to plan out a conversation (surely others do this too?) so that it can go relatively smoothly.
One of the main problems is I keep missing those stupid cues/hints people give! I don't realize it until I analyze the conversation or until someone points it out to me. Like for example, a couple weeks ago, he told me how he was driving back to school (after winter break) and was busy most of the day. Me, being... well, me, didn't even think anything of it. My friend made me realize I could have used that as an opportunity for him to tell me more about what he's studying and to get him to open up more.
Another time, he told me how he'd thought about doing something, but changed his mind later. I think he changed his mind because didn't want to seem rude to this other person. Later I realized he probably expected me to ask WHY he changed his mind, because the conversation ended shortly after that.
No one else I know seems to have this problem, and I've been lurking (I'd forgotten my account details) the forum for a while now. You guys seem like the only ones who could possibly understand :S
My friend says to show interest I need to ask questions, however I recently realized that that doesn't come naturally for me. I don't ask people "How are you?" or "How was your day?" or any other types of questions. To be honest, I don't even think about asking them how they're doing UNLESS they ask me first. (Personally, I find those kind of questions pointless anyway. I'm not sure if that's part of the reason I don't think about them or what...) And the other problem is, I can't ask a question if I'm not truly interested. I cannot fake interest. I've tried, but it doesn't work.
Help :S
Also, has anyone else been told this or realized it later? Or is it just me?