Suspect Asperger's but not sure how to approach my doctor

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Hello. I don't want to go on a huge life story so I will just give some facts. Couple years ago I had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized. I am not diagnosed with Borderline personality, depression, and anxiety. Up until this week I was okay with that diagnosis, while I did not feel I fit with all the points of BPD I just accepted it was the closest thing to explain my poor social and coping skills.

Skipping to this weekend, some one ask me if I was aspie. I had no idea what they even were talking about. So I did what I do best, jumped on my computer. I researched it, and the more I read the more it seemed to fit.

I brought it up with my mother and she pretty much agreed (she never agreed about a single thing about my mental health), I was surprised. That night I figured it out. I had a few odd memories of when I was little of having lots of testing and one of doctors putting wires on my head. Up till that night my mother said it was to long ago and did not remember it.

So I called her last night asking her again to please tell me why. Turns out growing up I was always behind my pairs but really smart too, by second grade I was diagnosed with ADD. When I was in fifth grade my mom had enough, apparently the ritalin never helped me and was making me sick all the time. My mom tried to take me off but the school would not take me back if I was off it unless a neurologist cleared me. Turns out they did not, they told my mom I had abnormal brain functions and again diagnosed it as ADD (this was the 80's before Asperger's was being diagnosed). Also found out I was late to talk and walk.

Now with this new information I of course want tell my doctor and see about changing my diagnosis. The primary issue I have is Asperger's is no longer recognized in the states and I worry if I mention autism at all they may dismiss it since I am intellectually high functioning. A question I have is any one in the states, when you talk to your doctor do they still call it Asperger's? Also how do I explain it to her with out looking like I am self diagnosing. It's not without merit if they look at Asperger's symptomology, but will they seeing it's no longer in the DSM.

My sister has BPD and we both share traits of eachothers disorders.

dont go to any doctor, go to a specialist that works with all kinds of autistic people and listens to you as an individual

doctors today are very reluctant to give out the autism diagnoses and i can understand why, its a big one. remember: ask lots of questions about your symptoms, if they dont add up to autism: fine,

dont go to your doctor and say: I think im autistic, they almost never listen, list off symptoms you are concerned about and they may suggest autism if it fits, but, keep your mind open to other things, which can be hard for both someone on the spectrum and those with BPD

I have given it much thought. I know BPD can be similar to AS but in my case AS fits more then BPD.

I spend most my time on my special interests which is building pc's and running fluid dynamic sims for computer animation.
I need at least 6 hours a day by myself or I get very anxious and hate to be interrupted
I never look at people when I talk to them, if I do I worry so much about eye contact I don't hear what they say
I was never social growing up, never played pretend, and never did anything other than what interested me.
I am also very face blind to the point I won't even recognize family members in public places even when they walk up and say hi, I have been known to just be nice and say hi back. They are like "what you don't want to talk to your aunt", really embarrassing.
I also can't lie, I am honest to a fault. The few times I tried I went back and apologized out of major guilt, within minutes after the lie.

These are just a few things I can think of that are more AS then BPD traits I have.

Tell your doctor about the stuff you discovered about your childhood--about how you were behind in some ways despite being good academically, how you had atypical neurology, how they thought you had ADHD but Ritalin never worked for you. Then someone mentioned AS to you and it explained all those memories--why ADHD never quite fit, why you had such trouble learning social skills.

They call it "Autism spectrum disorder" now, or just ASD. It's still the same thing and the docs are starting to realize that autistics are often pretty smart/talented/ahead-of-their-peers, especially when we're doing whatever we happen to be good at.

Your doctor might not consider you diagnosable as an adult, but even if that's the case, ask whether you might have been diagnosed with an ASD if it had been well-known when you were born. From your childhood history, it sounds like there was something odd going on, and there's evidence that it might not have been ADHD. Explain to your doctor that you want to know more about yourself--that knowing more about how you think and how you learn might help you. After all, if you had diagnosable ASD as a kid, you either have it now, or you have ASD traits, and that's always a useful thing to know about.

Do you have sensory issues?

Do you sometimes like to stim? (which I think is functional since it helps deal with sensory issues, helps to maintain concentration, as well as at times adding joy to life)

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Please note: These two issues are not emphasized by DSM, but I kind of think they should be.

yes, I do stim, though never had a name for it now. If I am overwhelmed and there is room (my living areas tend to be small). I will pace till I put a rut in the floor. Growing up my house was 1 floor and the kitchen and living areas were open on one side and they both connected to the hall to the bedrooms on the other side. I would walk around that loop for hours. When that pissed my mom off she would make me sit down. At that point I rock a little and my legs are in constant motion. Many people make that observation that I never stop moving. Especially when nervous or thinking deeply.

Now I can control it better and my public go to stim if you want to call it, is rubbing my finger nails together briskly. It's not as obvious as moving my legs or rocking, and it does help (though not as much)

In conversation I constantly scratch my left side of my left hand. If its a long appointment it's usually very red and noticeable, I know my nurse has noticed, she mentioned it once but I quickly changed the subject.
Since I have a history of cutting I thought they would see it as self harm.

As for sensory things, would the face blindness count? Also reading people is impossible to me. I can't sleep unless it's completely quiet in my room. Even the hum from a speaker left on the most people can't hear will drive me nuts. Only white noise I can deal with (like a fan), if its not symmetrical or its patterned sounds it will bug me. I just end up focusing on that rather then sleeping. Non symmetrical sounds bother me, and loud noises I am not ready for especially at home instantly instills a flight response.

Also if I am interested in something, could be a commercial, something outside interesting, or even a sudden spark of creativity, I am gone. I have had people make conversation with me and not even notice. My last roommates used to joke I was not there and just waited till I was back to start talking again.

One more thing, I don't know if this could be related, but I want to know, it's another big puzzle piece of my life I want an answer for. When I was 5 or 6 almost over night I developed a fear of wind. Not like really windy made me nervous, more like if it was breezy out I had the fear of death and my mother would have to drag me kicking and screaming. I remember her having to pick me up from preschool on a couple windy days cause I just shutdown. Then we got a hurricane a year or so later and my sister some how talked me into going out side (prob cause I thought it was cool at the same time as scary). After that the fear was gone for the most part. Still if its a really windy day where you can hear the wind hit the house and swear I can feel it, I get anxious.

Request a referral from your general practitioner to see a specialist.

Don't see just any psychologist or psychiatrist.
It needs to be a specialist.

People with Asperger's aren't known to have delayed language.

If the OP began speaking "late", this suggests if anything classic autism, not Asperger's.

If the OP's actually got any concerns about the fact "Asperger's" is no longer a preferred term and the general term "autism" will be used in any diagnosis, well...

That sounds just about right.

I don't really care what I am labeled. The question about that was referring to how to speak to my doctor about it. Getting answers to why I am the way I am is what matters to me. If its not autism, fine, but BPD just does not fit me. I suspect autism, I could be wrong. This is the closest diagnosis I have to explaining me.

Also 2 months premature, so that could also explain talking late. If anything from my above posts does not sound like autism feel free to tell me I am way off. I am grateful for every ones blunt honesty. I will see if I can get a specialist, since I am under state funded care that may not be possible.

Hi,

Just wanted to thank you for your time with my questions. I saw my psychologist and turns out she has already noticed asd traits. Without too much knowledge on my childhood (also the team I am seeing is focused on crisis management, and coping skills), the whole story never came together. I now have a appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday. From there she may/may not refer me to get screened. My psychologist is behind me 100% but she is not the one who can make the referral.

She also agrees that since moving to a place where I get all my time to myself I no longer fit the criteria for a BPD diagnosis.

Thanks for your feedback.