Do you think the way I was teased is wrong?

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EzraS
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02 Feb 2014, 4:11 am

Ok, on one of the other forums im on we have a game called "Ban the user above you". And this one guy wrote to me "banned for having a faulty brain". And he knows im autistic. Now I laughed cause he's a forum friend and a truly very nice person. I think its okay to joke with people about stuff like that as long as its not being done maliciously. Anyways the person below him, who neither of us know very well, wrote "banned because that was mean".
So... what do you think?



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02 Feb 2014, 4:18 am

The person took your friend too seriously.

I thought the banning the user above you game was meant for fun and you ban them for any silly and ridiculous reasons. He could have wrote "banned for having autism" and would he still have a problem with that?


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Norny
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02 Feb 2014, 4:19 am

Funny, I was reading that thread a few moments ago.

I think it all depends on how you perceive it. If he's your friend and his intentions were not to harm you, and you do not feel harmed by default, then I guess that what was said is ok. However, in the sense that he could give onlookers the wrong idea, it isn't ok. I'm sure he was just trying to be funny, but others won't be aware of the relationship between you two and may start thinking of individuals like yourself in the negative way in which they were presented.

So while I don't believe that such a comment is necessarily wrong between two friends (to a degree; if he knows his limits, intentions etc), it isn't something that you should announce publicly like that.


EDIT - Just saw that you wrote 'I think its okay to joke with people about stuff like that as long as its not being done maliciously', that's essentially what I think too, with reasons.

EDIT II - Ok so I just specifically looked at the exact case, Mr. Kashmir, and I'm not even sure if he was taking in to account the fact that you had autism when he said it (he may have been, but it isn't obvious). Before he replied with the faulty brain comment, you wrote 'Banned for making my brain short circuit.' This adds a whole new level of context, but I can't be bothered elaborating, all that matters is that you feel ok.


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Last edited by Norny on 02 Feb 2014, 4:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

EzraS
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02 Feb 2014, 4:24 am

Norny wrote:
Funny, I was reading that thread a few moments ago.


aargh I'm being stalked! lol :P



Norny
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02 Feb 2014, 4:31 am

EzraS wrote:
Norny wrote:
Funny, I was reading that thread a few moments ago.


aargh I'm being stalked! lol :P



Scared? :wink:

Nah but in all seriousness I was just looking through the site because you sent it to me, not stalking. I do admit though, it was fairly obvious who you were based on your typing style and images.


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02 Feb 2014, 4:39 am

Sounds completely innocent. He's your forum friend and you weren't hurt or offended, so there's no reason to worry about what someone you don't know well thinks.
This person who said it was mean might not have meant it seriously either, they may just have been playing the game.

Ezra, I couldn't agree more with your statement that its okay to joke about stuff like that as long as its not done maliciously. You do make jokes with people you feel safe with.


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hanyo
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02 Feb 2014, 4:52 am

I don't know but I don't participate in forum games like that because I would take it seriously even if I know that it's not meant to be taken seriously.



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02 Feb 2014, 5:12 am

It's normal for friends to tease one another (although I personally don't have a thick enough skin for that). But if a stranger says something similar, it's a personal attack, and I guess that's how the other poster perceived the situation.



EzraS
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02 Feb 2014, 5:43 am

Norny wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Norny wrote:
Funny, I was reading that thread a few moments ago.


aargh I'm being stalked! lol :P



Scared? :wink:


Hell yes, because I recently changed my name from Ezra there (just because you can do that there) and people who know me there are having trouble recognizing me lol.

Anyways.... I feel kinda stupid at this point, because part of this was someone responding "banned because that was mean". The problem with that is, that was on an entirely different page from way back on another tab, because I was trying to track someone down (talk about stalking haha) who used to be in that thread and disappeared. So, I got my faulty brain wires crossed (the irony).

But it doesn't change my curiosity about the situation in general and how people might perceive it.

Norny wrote:
Before he replied with the faulty brain comment, you wrote 'Banned for making my brain short circuit.' This adds a whole new level of context


True, but the wording matches up with something that was being discussed in another thread, where I was specifically talking about my autism. I'm pretty sure thats where he was going, the same as me in a way.



Norny
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02 Feb 2014, 6:03 am

EzraS wrote:
Hell yes, because I recently changed my name from Ezra there (just because you can do that there) and people who know me there are having trouble recognizing me lol.

Anyways.... I feel kinda stupid at this point, because part of this was someone responding "banned because that was mean". The problem with that is, that was on an entirely different page from way back on another tab, because I was trying to track someone down (talk about stalking haha) who used to be in that thread and disappeared. So, I got my faulty brain wires crossed (the irony).

But it doesn't change my curiosity about the situation in general and how people might perceive it.

Norny wrote:
Before he replied with the faulty brain comment, you wrote 'Banned for making my brain short circuit.' This adds a whole new level of context


True, but the wording matches up with something that was being discussed in another thread, where I was specifically talking about my autism. I'm pretty sure thats where he was going, the same as me in a way.



Dear god.. LOL. You got trolled by your own brain. Don't worry, happens to me a lot too. XD

This link is relevant, but I warn you, only click it if rapidly flashing lights (epilepsy/visual sensitivity) won't hurt you. Also turn your computer volume way down: Link


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02 Feb 2014, 9:21 am

hanyo wrote:
I don't know but I don't participate in forum games like that because I would take it seriously even if I know that it's not meant to be taken seriously.


this exactly, I avoid politics, religion and so forth, and any game that I may take offense at, I am quite sensitive and get in enough trouble just for not understanding sarcasm - all my friends have been told to tag it and they try to but THEIR friends often have no idea and get bugged when I take them seriously


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CyborgUprising
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02 Feb 2014, 11:12 am

League_Girl wrote:
The person took your friend too seriously.

I thought the banning the user above you game was meant for fun and you ban them for any silly and ridiculous reasons. He could have wrote "banned for having autism" and would he still have a problem with that?


In which case, we'd all be ever so profoundly f***ed.



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02 Feb 2014, 12:32 pm

Ezra and Norny, you two are so cute! I think life with Autism can really super suck at times and more light-hearted you are, the more you are able to find humor in things, the better off you will be. At this point you both seem to be doing great with that. But no, if he didn't mean any malice, I wouldn't assign any. It could actually be his tough guy way of saying he loves you (as a friend).



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02 Feb 2014, 12:49 pm

I would ask if the response felt wrong to you. If not, then no issue.



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02 Feb 2014, 2:31 pm

EzraS wrote:
Ok, on one of the other forums im on we have a game called "Ban the user above you". And this one guy wrote to me "banned for having a faulty brain". And he knows im autistic. Now I laughed cause he's a forum friend and a truly very nice person. I think its okay to joke with people about stuff like that as long as its not being done maliciously. Anyways the person below him, who neither of us know very well, wrote "banned because that was mean".
So... what do you think?


One of the few people I can call a friend was with me when a few acquaintences stopped at a McDonalds.

After sitting down, someone noticed the table we chose had a wheelchair/handicapped symbol on it, and we realized we'd chosen likely the only table in the place that was useable by someone in a wheelchair.

He said "That's okay. We've got Sethno with us. You're disabled."

While he was right to a certain extent (tho' we all knew my disability isn't so physical to warrant using that table), I still didn't like it.

Then, he went and used the same joke again when somehow we sat at the same table the next time we were there.

I liked it less the second time.

Sometimes someone who's a friend just doesn't get it, and starts doing stuff that isn't all that friendly. :?


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