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Joe90
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02 Feb 2014, 1:38 pm

Lately I have found that when someone lies, part of me knows that they're lying or could be lying, but I still believe it. I don't know if I strongly believe it like a naive person, but I get a strange feeling about it either one way or the other. I think it's because I try to look at both the true side and the false side of what the person has told me. I think ''hold on, it could be a lie because.......'' and then I think, ''but maybe it could be true because.......''

Obviously I don't believe it if it's too far-fetched. I analyze what I have been told and think ''hold on, that can't be possible because of........, so they must be lying.''

Analogy:-
If someone said to me, ''look outside, it's raining frogs!'', I will not attempt to turn around and look out of the window to see if it's raining frogs. If somebody said, ''look outside, it's raining!'', I would turn around and look out of the window, even if it's a sunny day, because there are two possibilities; yes it might not really be raining and they could be lying, or it might well be raining. You can have rain whilst it's sunny and not notice it's raining until you look out. So the simple statement ''it's raining outside'' can possibly be a lie or possibly could be a truth. So I'll usually believe it (in most general contexts). If somebody said ''it's raining frogs'', I am smart enough to know it does not rain frogs, so I will immediately know it's not a truth.

Do you see what I mean? A statement with both a true possibility and a false possibility without any proof can trick me but I can still have my suspicions that it could be a lie. A statement what sounds too ridiculous to be true does not fool me.

Any thoughts on how lies are interpreted?


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Waterfalls
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02 Feb 2014, 3:49 pm

Yes, I find it hard to believe or understand someone intentionally acting with the intent to deceive. However, contradictions that appear sometimes make it evident that the person may be lying. I don't really understand lying though. Other than obvious lies that serve to protect a person from getting into trouble.



Willard
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02 Feb 2014, 4:01 pm

Wikipedia wrote:
Raining animals is a rare meteorological phenomenon in which flightless animals "rain" from the sky. Such occurrences have been reported in many countries throughout history. One hypothesis offered to explain this phenomenon is that strong winds traveling over water sometimes pick up creatures such as fish or frogs, and carry them for up to several miles.[1] However, this primary aspect of the phenomenon has never been witnessed or scientifically tested. Sometimes the animals survive the fall, suggesting the animals are dropped shortly after extraction. Several witnesses of raining frogs describe the animals as startled, though healthy, and exhibiting relatively normal behavior shortly after the event. In some incidents, however, the animals are frozen to death or even completely encased in ice.


See also The Books of Charles Fort: The Book of the Damned; New Lands; Lo!; Wild Talents



dianthus
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02 Feb 2014, 4:34 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Lately I have found that when someone lies, part of me knows that they're lying or could be lying, but I still believe it. I don't know if I strongly believe it like a naive person, but I get a strange feeling about it either one way or the other. I think it's because I try to look at both the true side and the false side of what the person has told me. I think ''hold on, it could be a lie because.......'' and then I think, ''but maybe it could be true because.......''


I am like this too. I find it really hard to believe a person could be lying to me. I will want to disbelieve myself and disbelieve what I know to be true rather than believe they are lying. I end up going back and forth on it debating both sides of it to myself.

I'm not naïve, I know people can lie, I can tell a lie myself if I feel the need to, but when someone else does it I just can't reconcile it logically. Especially if a person might be lying about something subjective, like their feelings or intentions. It's hard for me to just act on a hunch or an assumption. I feel like I have to have proof that it's a lie before I can really believe they are lying. Otherwise I just keep looking for the possibility that what they said could be true.



Marybird
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02 Feb 2014, 4:45 pm

When I am talking to people, I always take everything they say as fact. For this reason I don't argue my own point of view, I'm not quick enough or something. When I analyze the conversation later though, I sometimes realize I may have been lied to or manipulated.



Eloa
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02 Feb 2014, 5:08 pm

Marybird wrote:
When I am talking to people, I always take everything they say as fact.

I relate to this.
It was confusing to learn, that people do not always mean what they say, but how can I know if they mean what they say or not?
Like your cat in avatar very much.


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Marybird
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02 Feb 2014, 5:44 pm

Eloa wrote:
Like your cat in avatar very much.

Thanks. I think I'll keep this one.



Eloa
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02 Feb 2014, 6:15 pm

Marybird wrote:
Eloa wrote:
Like your cat in avatar very much.

Thanks. I think I'll keep this one.

Is this your cat in real life?


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Marybird
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02 Feb 2014, 7:09 pm

Eloa wrote:
Marybird wrote:
Eloa wrote:
Like your cat in avatar very much.

Thanks. I think I'll keep this one.

Is this your cat in real life?

No. I found it on the internet. I wish it was my cat. It's so cute.



Buttercup
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02 Feb 2014, 7:34 pm

I have recently found I was lied to for many months. I did not comprehend he was lying until I saw a pattern in his actions which helped me understand he was hiding something.
I struggle a lot with why so many people lie so much. How do they keep up with what lies they told and to which persons?
So many people nowadays almost make a game of it. The honest, and those who have difficulty with social clues (& maybe language) seem to be easy targets.
I have enough difficulty simply trying to juggle a conversation and appropriate affect that I rarely catch a liar in the act. I have even studied the signs of lying and I still don't catch them!

So, I'm sorry we all seem to have trouble with this. :(
And the kitten is very cute!



daydreamer84
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02 Feb 2014, 8:12 pm

Yes, I have difficulty telling whether people are lying or not.



GivePeaceAChance
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02 Feb 2014, 8:21 pm

Marybird wrote:
When I am talking to people, I always take everything they say as fact. For this reason I don't argue my own point of view, I'm not quick enough or something. When I analyze the conversation later though, I sometimes realize I may have been lied to or manipulated.


I used to take everything as fact, now at 51 and having been stolen from and scammed so many times I am nearly the opposite, I almost think everything anyone says to me is a manipulation or outright lie if they are not a person I already know well. (and then I get messed up with sarcasm and jokes and when they are serious or if they ever do decide to turn on me, which friends have done in my life with far too much regularity)


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CockneyRebel
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02 Feb 2014, 9:33 pm

Eloa wrote:
Marybird wrote:
When I am talking to people, I always take everything they say as fact.

I relate to this.
It was confusing to learn, that people do not always mean what they say, but how can I know if they mean what they say or not?
Like your cat in avatar very much.


I'm also the same way.


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CockneyRebel
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02 Feb 2014, 9:34 pm

Marybird wrote:
Eloa wrote:
Marybird wrote:
Eloa wrote:
Like your cat in avatar very much.

Thanks. I think I'll keep this one.

Is this your cat in real life?

No. I found it on the internet. I wish it was my cat. It's so cute.


That cat's very beautiful and adorable. :O)


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EzraS
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02 Feb 2014, 9:43 pm

Im by nature very untrusting of people and by nature take what people say "with a grain of salt". I dont let people put me on the spot or get me to do things. I have a natural avoidance to that. So they can lie to me all they want and I may not know they are lying, but they will still not be able to manipulate me much if at all. And I always ask someone close to me in my family or my friend for advice on people and what there intentions are. I think NT's can pick up on that, because no one tries anything on me the way they seem to do with others. Especially creeper PM's in the forums - i basically never get them, but my internet friends have.



League_Girl
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02 Feb 2014, 9:55 pm

Only way I can tell someone is lying is if they are saying something I know is not true. Like if you told me the sky is pink and it's actually dark blue, I would know you're lying. No wait I would just think you're teasing me.

I have known some pathological liars in my life. I was informed they were lying. My pesky neighbor was one of them and one time his bike got stolen and he said he always had it chained up to the mail boxes right next to our driveway. I knew that was a lie because he took the bus to school every morning and I always drove to school and I always left after him so I knew he was lying because I never saw any bike against the mailboxes. In fact i didn't even know he had his bike dumped in the tall grass always because I never looked there or paid any attention. But my mom always saw the bike and she thinks someone may have thought it was abandoned so they took it. It was on the side of the road and if he would have left it on the driveway, it would have been obvious it's not abandoned. But yet part of me thought he was telling the truth and I have to pay more attention to my surroundings because I didn't even notice his bike. But Mom confirmed it was a lie. I just have to trust myself, not giving myself doubts thinking "Maybe I really did do this and I have no memory of it" Maybe I really did do this and wasn't aware" "I really have to pay more attention to detail and get out of my own world." I even believed for two years I stabbed a kid in my class with a plastic fork and it got jammed in his neck and stuck but this school mate told me at a party that was all made up by the kid because he wanted to be cool and have kids think he is cool. So for two years I have been admitting something I did I never even did. Then the following year, I was selling chocolate bars for some fundraising thing and this one boy in my art class told me he gave me a dollar and I never gave me a candy bar so I started to count them and the money and I saw he never gave me his money. I just had to count because I was doubting myself thinking I had no memory of him giving me the money. Now I trust myself more and if I know I didn't do something or if something ever happened, I say it didn't and refuse to believe it. They would have to have proof. But yet I still allowed myself to get manipulated online by a creep who was my friend and he claimed I said this or that to him and after I had blocked him, I looked through our IM chats and saw I said non of those things and he was a liar and I was done giving him the benefit of the doubt. How long can you keep giving someone the benefit of the doubt before deciding they are lying or have an agenda or doing what you think they are doing? I had to go through the IM chats so that means he did get to me because I had to look through the chats. Even on here, a former mod told me I had more accounts than I really did and made other claims and I know they are not true but I do think I may have been impersonated by trolls here more than twice and trolls who would come here the former mods thought it was my sockpuppet. There is me giving them the benefit of the doubt again than assuming they are straight out lying to me.


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