Why does my counselor think that?

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Today, I went to the counselor like I do every month. I sat at the beginning like I always do while her and my mother discussed my grades and teachers and fussing at the school system and whatever. Then, the counselor and I discussed why certain things happened like usual without my mom in the room. She read the book that she reads to me with random rules that seem pointless like usual.

This time, she showed me a couple of videos. They were of people talking to each other. After their conversation, I was to answer 3 questions. I didn't know what to answer for many of them, and the ones that I did answer were apparently the wrong answer, because she continued to ask the question differently.

She then called my mom into the room, and explained that she had other kids on "the spectrum" come in and watch the videos, and they knew what some things meant and whatnot and I did not. She then said that she understood if my mom were to find that "hard to hear." I know that that means that she'd understand if my mom were to get upset or unhappy about it.

Why would this make her unhappy?

She also talked about how I was confused as to why questions like that were even being asked, because I found them irrelevant to the videos, which they mostly were. Apparently, when I was explaining my train of thought about how to answer the questions, what I was thinking was apparently not needed to figure out the answers at all.

The questions were things like, "Will (person) want to talk to (person) again?" "Why did (person) keep looking around her shoulder?"

I also had the wrong explanations for why (person) did things with her face while looking, but how was I supposed to know if I couldn't see why or what she was even looking at when turning her head around??

Again, the main question is really about why my counselor would think that my mom would be unhappy, or just about why my mom would be unhappy.

That seems like a question you should ask your mother or the therapist since they were the ones involved in the conversation and interactions. Any suggestion as to it's meaning without witnessing it first hand would only be wild speculation and unproductive to finding the actual answer.

It's a harmless question that is best answered by them.

I feel confused what is happening too. Perhaps you could ask where we are going with this? A counselor's role is to counsel, to help, to teach, to support, to identify goals and work toward them.

My questions then are is your mother unhappy---observe and ask

Can the counselor please explain what the problem and how will we be able to work on this

Are you unhappy, and if so, what about?

I think it's important the people around you understand you are different, not bad. Your answers may be different, it's possible they are not wrong, even if they at first seem so, and if you are confused, that is worth helping with.

Well, I know that they'd be wild speculations and relatively unproductive, but I wonder what others may think regardless of how unhelpful it really is.

Ok, but call it what it is, avoidance. Rather unhealthy, but that is your choice.

I wasn't avoiding anything though. I was posting a question.

Rather than asking your mom or therapist who could give you a accurate answer. So you are avoiding asking them because you are afraid of finding out the real answer. You are hoping that people on here will give you an answer that is better than what you think is going on. That is avoidance.

I honestly am not trying to be mean or diminish your anxiety over it, but the only way to stop the wondering is to go ask them. What is the worse answer you think they will say?

She was afraid your mother would be unhappy that you are lower functioning than she previously believed, based on your poor performance on the video tests.

As a child, I really wanted to avoid getting hurt. One of the ways I tried to protect myself was by trying to give the right answers to questions. That helped me a lot because I was motivated to work hard in school.

I totally understand how a young teenager would hesitate asking more questions that betray ignorance to people who are already indicating that you are getting things wrong.

Your counselor is seeing you as having more difficulty wih social understanding than some other children/teens and wants to explain that you seem to have more trouble than some to your mother.

The fact that you are curious about why the counselor did and thiught things and why she'd think your mom is unhappy is a great one, though. Because think about it, the counselor felt you didn't do well with the videos, but in real life, you are trying to understand.

I think it's great you are curious and want to understand and means much more than videos that may seem completely pointless to you.

Life is not a series of videos, these are just tools. As an adult, now, if someone did that to me,
I'd want to yell at them and say, "hey, there's a human being in the room, I'm listening, hello??" I would not like someone talking this way in front of my child, either. I think be careful assuming too much. If your mother is upset, it could be because she was told you did not do well and agrees, or it could be she does not agree at all and is angry if she sees you differently than the counselor does. You're 13, kind of hard to know how far you'll be able to go. Don't let other people limit you with their assumptions, serenaserenaserena.

A lot of times people post questions on the forums because they are thinking about how to deal with things. Personally, I find your pushiness a little disconcerting.

With regard to the original question; Fu*k It. If your mother is disappointed that you're not picking up on the things in the video, too bad - that is her problem. Welcome to the world of autism. The counsellor sounds like an ass.

Perhaps the videos may not help you develop your strengths the way practicing actual conversation might. Again, I want to emphasize that if your mom is upset, it could be with your response to the videos but it could be with the counselor. Also, if she was feeling angry about the counselor's statements, the counselor would possibly notice she was upset without properly understanding why.

All people sometimes misread what others may be thinking or feeling.
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^^This would be my assumption as well.^^



^^Agree on both counts.^^

So telling a 13yo:
1. F it
2. That her therapist is an ass
3. That her mother is wrong(even though you have no idea what the mom is thinking)
4. That the Op should get use to it

Are all far more kind than telling her to talk to her mom. You're serious aren't you? That is just sad and telling of how overtly bitter and angry at life you are. I sincerely hope you the best.

Serena, we're here to support you, because we've each had experiences comparable to the one you are describing. But you really must ask your mother and therapist. They're the ones closest to you, so they can help you.

1. I'm sure she's never heard that before. (sarcasm)
2. Her therapist is an ass. Why say that in front of her if not to make her feel bad.
3. It's up to the OP if she wants to talk about this with her mother. It's the therapist who behaved inappropriately.
4. Get used to what? Encountering bad therapists . . . probably true.

Not sure why you are perceiving what I am saying as unkind. And again, I have no idea if it's a good idea for the OP to talk to her Mom about this or not and wouldn't advise either way.

Ok, you win.