Why do aspies

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Rocket123
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07 Feb 2014, 2:49 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Like talking about themselves so much?

This is the only venue where I talk about myself (well, actually write about myself). Well, this and my journal.

Generally, when I am with other people, I dislike talking about myself. I am a very private person. If someone asks me a question that’s about me (i.e. a personal question), I will try to change the subject to something else (be it my wife, my kids, whatever).

daydreamer84
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07 Feb 2014, 3:06 pm

:lol: I do on here. I don't know, I guess that's just how I relate to people and think/talk about life.

trick70
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07 Feb 2014, 7:00 pm

It seems appropriate to give real life examples. Maybe the difficulty in reading social queues has us miss when it turns people off.

ASPartOfMe
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07 Feb 2014, 7:09 pm

mounie wrote:

ASPartOfMe wrote:

The style, flow and choice of words are going to be different

Thank you for the insight, ASPartOfMe, could you please elaborate , to help me understand better?

I am trying to figure exactly how this works myself. The posts here compared to NT boards here are much longer, paragraphs are longer, longer sentences, much less of the IDK type of shortcuts. It is like a volcano erupting where the lava has been pressing to get out for decades and finally completely breaks through flying out rapidly in all directions. An English major can probably explain it a lot better then me.

As far as in person after a support groups about half the people leave immediately glad the social situation is over I assume. For those that stay I have noticed is the conversations are intense, serious, very little giggling and as would be expected very little chit chat. People stand straight, arms at their side two feet from each other . Little hand or movement and don't hug or kiss each each other when saying goodbye as is common in NT social situations.

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Verdandi
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07 Feb 2014, 7:14 pm

pensieve wrote:

Like Bumble said, it's the only way I can relate to people and say anything at all.

I've been criticised for it before, but that person hated me so it didn't much matter.

I can't really show much interest in what people talk about unless I can relate to it.

We're also dead honest. People probably want to talk about themselves but to do so is breaking some social rule or something.

This makes sense. Often I relate something I experienced to people to illustrate that I can relate to something they said, but then it somehow turns into other things (whether seen as good or bad) and gets confusing.

XFilesGeek
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07 Feb 2014, 7:17 pm

I talk out loud to myself because it helps me concentrate and remember things.

Also, I'm the only person who ever wants to talk about things that interest me. :lol:

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billiscool
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07 Feb 2014, 9:07 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Like talking about themselves so much?

Something other people have noticed as well.

Because,Im cool.

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07 Feb 2014, 9:12 pm

To OP, not much

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wozeree
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07 Feb 2014, 9:15 pm

StarTrekker wrote:

I was of the impression that enjoying talking about oneself was a universal human trait not unique to AS.

Seriously true. Everybody is always talking about themselves, but back to me now...heehee.

hale_bopp
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08 Feb 2014, 5:26 am

Maybe it is.

I've just noticed the first things people post in a lot of threads about problems is some aspie ratting on about their own problems instead of answering the actual post.

I've been called up on this in the past and consciously fixed it.

droppy
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08 Feb 2014, 7:29 am

I talk about myself and my interests because what else should I talk about?
NTs talk about themselves and their interests a lot as well. It's just that they can focus on other stuff as well while I can't most of the times.

Erika5005
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08 Feb 2014, 9:06 pm

bumble wrote:

So if someone is talking about something they experience I will answer my relating one of my experiences to theirs and by describing my experience to them as a way of trying to connect with them. Or as a way of trying to say "I think I understand/I don't understand what you saying/experiencing...see I have/have not been through this too".

Unfortunately the world thinks I do that because I want to make the subject all about myself. However, oddly, when people ask me to talk about myself directly I feel uncomfortable. Any time someone says 'tell me about yourself' I can't think of anything at all to say and I hate it.

They have not given me a specific question to answer (it is too generalised...what do they want to know about me exaclty? I can't answer the question they have asked as I do not know what they want to know) or something to try to relate to. I am not really trying to talk about me you see, I am trying to relate to and connect to the other person via my own understanding of a situation we have both been though and comparing our experiences.

Same with me. I feel like I need to comprehend their situation. I ask a lot of questions, that I guess are not the acceptable ones, but the ones which help me analyse the person himself, and what he is feeling about it. And I do use my own experience to understand.

That is one of the problems. I often can't really listen to all the words they are throwing at me. So I sample sentences and mirroring the rest, asking questions and make conclusion and ask if I'm right. Someone really snapped at me when I've done it. Other asked me to stop analyzing her.

Usually I can't talk about myself for a long period of time, because I tend to stutter when I do. but when I ecstatic, it's not a problem.

but I do tend to listen to people speak. I just don't know if I handle it that well.

IKnowWhoIAmNow
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11 Feb 2014, 6:02 pm

bumble wrote:

So if someone is talking about something they experience I will answer my relating one of my experiences to theirs and by describing my experience to them as a way of trying to connect with them. Or as a way of trying to say "I think I understand/I don't understand what you saying/experiencing... see I have/have not been through this too". Unfortunately the world thinks I do that because I want to make the subject all about myself.

However, oddly, when people ask me to talk about myself directly I feel uncomfortable. Any time someone says 'tell me about yourself' I can't think of anything at all to say and I hate it. They have not given me a specific question to answer (it is too generalised...what do they want to know about me exaclty? I can't answer the question they have asked as I do not know what they want to know) or something to try to relate to. I am not really trying to talk about me you see, I am trying to relate to and connect to the other person via my own understanding of a situation we have both been though and comparing our experiences.

My god. This. It puts into words something about me that I hadn't consciously realised and has been dogging me for much of my life.

Erika5005 wrote:

This too, to a lesser extent, as I am getting better at understanding what people say right out; though I still get it wrong sometimes

Additionally, I sometimes talk about myself to excess because people ask me a question and I honestly give them the answer. Silly NT, if you don't want my life story, don't ask a question that requires it as backstory to answer the bit you actually asked about

Kurgan
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11 Feb 2014, 6:07 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Like talking about themselves so much?

Something other people have noticed as well.

I like talking about my special interests, but not about myself.

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