Does anyone find themselves identifying themselves as NT?

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Some years back I used to identify as Aspie. Those days I was pretty much oblivious to my surroundings and to people's feelings. After some years at uni, however, I now find myself identifying more with NTs, but without the social skills. I find it easier to relate with introverted NTs than Aspies now. Even though I didn't really socialise in uni, I seem to be able to empathise much better. Before, I couldn't care about people's problems and was pretty much judgemental. Now I tend to be more accepting of (NT) people's flaws, and am able to understand why they do certain objectionable things, and I can accept their faults better than NTs do. I used to be puzzled with people's motivations and thoughts, but now it makes a lot of sense to me.

Has anyone experienced the same thing?

Yes. I have the same experience. I can relate more to introverted and quirky NTs than to Aspies. I also don't seem to have as much sensory or theory of mind problems that Aspies have. I just consider myself quirky. I don't think I want to identify as an Aspie or NT.

I can relate to a considerable extent; at the same time, I don't think it's necessarily that you 'identify as NT' per se. In my own case, it's because of the acquirement of social skills over the years, and doing this mostly on my own without having all that much interaction or communication with autistic age peers of a smiliar functioning level to compare notes with. I can say that I have met a number of autistics at autistic meet-ups and elsewhere, with whom I've found interaction somewhat difficult, simply because I had to move a little bit slower in terms of applying my full package of acquired social skills. An all-autistic crowd as in the autistic monthly meet-up I used to attend, may leave a bit to be desired in terms of reciprocity, empathy, and the like. It was a good crowd, certainly, but there are things find are missing when compared with a non-autistic environment.

So in short, I'd ascribe it to the development of social skills.

Sometimes I do things that make me cringe and think ''oh my God, that was so Aspie!'' Then other times I do things that feel so ''normal'' (is in something that most people would do, say or feel in that situation). I am not socially oblivious, and I can also empathise easily.

I sometimes just feel like a person who is socially hard work.

My experience has been that there is a definite arc over a period of years, in terms of social functionality, peaking at about age 30, so you are all as socially functional right now as you will likely ever be.

However, don't ever allow yourself to forget that if your brain is wired so that it has less than a normal capacity for recognizing nonverbal signals (autistic), no matter how well you may think you are functioning socially, you are not capable of always knowing when you're missing something and reacting inappropriately, unless others tell you.

And very often, they will not tell you, they will simply wait until you're out of the room and giggle behind your back, or just as bad, wink at each other over your head when you're not looking.

You can't ever know for sure just how socially functional you are because that's your disability.

You're right. You can't know how well you are socially functioning or know exactly what other people think of you. Guess what? NTs can't do that either! What a shock. A lot of NTs get gossiped about without knowing it. A lot of NTs misread nonverbal signals. That is what a lot of NT misunderstandings are about. A lot of NT girls think that people are giving them "strange looks" when they are really just paranoid.

As far as massive internet activity goes, i find myself identifying with both.
I hop between here and a couple of NT discussion forums and relate to what
is talked about there as much as I do here. - with exceptions of course such a my age etc.

I identify with nothing in particular, I am a person and no label shall limit me!

I'm about 50/50 now. I still can't express my feelings properly or even say 'hi, how are you?' but I understand people a whole lot more. Just when I get absorbed into something all the old symptoms are back; poor theory of mind, not empathizing and not able to transition from one thing to another.

I still get confused by NTs at times.

How do you do that, not having any kind of identity? How do you avoid needing to belong to some kind of a group in order to be satisfied? I really want to know how to stop these motives!

Also, I think I understand NT behaviour quite well, at least theoretically. However, that doesn't mean I can act like an NT in most situations. I blend in better in structured situations, like classrooms.

I'm against grouping labels as they don't really make much sense to me as everyone is unique and I myself am no exception. I may have white skin, I may be attracted to both sexes, I might have Asperger's, I might not have autism. I can identify as a Caucasian, I can identify as a bi-sexual, I can identify as a person with Asperger's, I can identify as an individual without autism. None of these defines who I am as a whole, they merely describe characteristics of myself, and thus I don't truly belong to a group. I am an individual comprised of countless identities, but nothing can describe who I truly am other than that I am me. This is especially valid from my point of view as my understanding of everything is based entirely around my experiences and what I've learned from other people's work, and those other people are NOT me, they are themselves unique.

If I had to answer the question strictly based on identifying with NT or Asperger's, I couldn't really answer. I don't need to belong to either group to feel satisfied, but knowing what fits a fraction of my neurology the best helps to create a small part of my identity. I guess I could say that 'I am a person without autism' or 'I am a person with Asperger's. I am not 'Neurotypical', and I am not 'Aspie'. One of those is a part of me. I can use the terms to describe that part of me, but it does not describe who I am as an individual.

I am a person, and I am unique, just like everyone else (the irony). If I want to relate more to the behaviour of people with Asperger's, I will learn about it. If I want to relate more to the behaviour of people that do not have autism, I will learn about it. One may come to me more naturally as I share characteristics with others, but that doesn't stop me from learning the other eventually. This is my reality, and it may not apply to others.

That is all.

I find that I frequently realise that certain behaviours of mine are uncharacteristic of autism. When I converse with autistics for example the lack of reciprocity empathy etc really frustrates me. In a converstion if i say something I dont want someone else to say something totally unrelated - particularly when the topic is on an emotive level. I find that quite distressing and rude.

The irony is that in objective terms (peoples' response to me) my social functioning has deteriorated and my sensory issues have also become more pronounced as well as executive issues. All this while I claim that ive made "strides". Ive mae intellectual strides but in terms of practical applications...

That's hardly a meaningful basis upon which to shun grouping and labeling, because defining a person as a whole is not the purpose of grouping and labeling. The concept of belonging to a group is not intended to explain the entirety of an individual's being, so why judge it on the basis of its failing to do so?

Exactly. I think this is the most logical way to think about it. There's no point to identity and no need to belong in order to any groups in order to be happy. So my rational self who thinks this way conflicts with my emotional self, that really wants to have a group of people to go to where people would understand me and would behave similarly to me. However, I find the craving for that diminishes the more I spend my time alone. The situations that trigger this feeling are the ones where I feel different or out of sync from others, which is a lot of different kinds of situations, actually. Somehow, I find that having a label grounds me, even though my rational self is convinced that labels don't exist and every person is unique. I don't know, I don't understand it, and it doesn't help when people around me say that identity and belonging are part of human nature. Well, evidently they aren't because not all people have these needs.

It's not its actual purpose no, but unfortunately that's the way most people see it. If this wasn't true, stereotypes and every other negative association made with belonging to a group wouldn't exist.

Besides, it's not the only reason I'm against grouping and labeling anyway. I just don't bother to write everything else as no one likes to read massive posts. Also at times I may even confuse myself because similar to what MathGirl said I too have got more than one side to me; I'm not one dimensional. I can't think one thing, and have it apply to every aspect of my thinking.

I don't agree 100% with this. Sure, it is true in some cases, but not every Aspie is totally oblivious to their actions and all the social cues. I have proven to be average with recognising body language in other people. Also I have picked up and learned a lot over the years about NT behaviour, as I do observe that a lot, and I'm still working on improving my social skills. I usually just know if somebody likes me or not. I didn't used to when I was a teenager, I used to just guess and hope for the best. But now as I've gotten older I have sort of developed a sense of intuition what tells me if a person likes me and is willing to be friends or not. I have learnt not to be so clingy like I used to be with people, but I am still working on how to not back away too much from a friendship either (I do tend to back away a bit sometimes because of an irrational fear of rejection. I have been rejected a lot in the past, which has made me lose confidence in myself).
I still make social errors, but something tells me immediately after that I shouldn't have said or done that. And if I do something that's socially appropriate, something inside me applaudes, which then helps me learn more social skills.

Not all Aspies need someone telling them in clear English what we do right and what we do wrong. Some of us can figure it out for ourselves. Having Asperger's does not mean we are completely missing the part of our brain called instinct. I'm not a logical Aspie anyway, I'm more of an emotional type, so I can usually pick up other people's emotions and cotton on to non-verbal cues.