Why add more meanings onto what I say?

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My sister is the main one I'm having a problem with here.

I make a straight forward comment or response and she is tagging on a hundred meanings I didn't even think of, telling everyone I'm mean to her etc. But it is all in her head.

I am giving up talking to her now, she won't believe I simply mean what I say and nothing more or less.

I am speechless anyway at some things she says I "really meant".

I don't know if this problem is my literal way of thinking or if she is just delusional, bonkers.

Any ideas? Maybe she just prefers to think I'm mean so she can have a whinge.

Would help if you gave an example like:-

Q "Does my bum look big in this".

( Technodog starts running, any answer is the wrong answer, or spontaneously becomes blind & deaf. )

A "No, your bum does not look big in it".
A "Yes, if it was any bigger, it would have its own gravitational field".

No offense to anyone intended, but this sort of thing seems fairly typical of NT females. I mean, just watch any sitcom and you will see this situation played upon.

My husband also reads extra things into what I say at times and I do it to others on rare occasions but, from what I understand, "normal" people are always putting hidden things into their sentances so those are the things your sister is reading. The hidden things that anyone else would have meant by what you said.

This reminds me of a thread on here that I read years ago that may help you:
NTs DO THINGS with conversation (clicky)

Read that OP there and think about what your words might be "doing" to your sister. Random example: if you walk into her room and say "It smells weird in here" you may just think you were observing something unrelated to her but she may think you are implying she smells weird or is messy and therefore trying to insult her and put yourself at a higher status or something. Honestly, it still baffles me how we are to tell WHAT they are doing or think we are doing with conversation, but at least being aware that it does things can help with the first steps.

This seems to be normal for NTs. I don't know if she even heard your words as you said them, or if there is a little machine in her brrrainzzz that auto-coats your words with what she thought you meant and/or wanted you to mean.

^ That's exactly it. There is a translation machine in her head that (incorrectly in this instance) determines what your intentions were to say such and such a thing to her and therefore what it really meant.

I suggest you minimize conversational contact with your sister, but not until after you tell her in plain English that she is reading things into what you say to her that are simply not there, so she must be paranoid. Then head for the hills as fast as you can!

But my attempts to be tactful don't work. Like I say "I don't think its a good idea to put the ice out in a bowl, it just melts, I think its better to leave it in the freezer". This was after her repeatedly doing this for several days meaning no-one else could get ice for their drinks.

She was moody after that for a week before telling me what a b***h I was, how I always think I'm right, always making her look stupid and of course the ice melts, did I not think she knew that already? So I was only trying to embarrass her. In actual fact I was only trying to have ice in my drink, but she won't believe that. She won't believe that I didn't know why she was upset that week either.

I could bore you with other examples but won't cos I'm too fed up about her and couldn't be bothered.

My tactic is minimizing speaking to her now, does any other (more friendly) tactic work? Or is it just inevitable unless I explain everything for half an hour so she doesn't get the wrong idea. I am trying not to cut people out of my life, but sometimes they are impossible!

I still think she's bonkers.

I empathize; I have this problem all the time. Some people seem incapable of taking words at face value. If you care to make an effort, you could try explaining your speaking style to her so that she will understand that she cannot make assumptions about your intentions. I would be surprised if it worked, though. I imagine it must be a difficult mindset to break out of.

Not talking to her might make it worse.

I suspect what's going on, is that you don't talk to her much and when you do it's pointing out her mistakes (such as the ice).

Pointing out mistakes or problems is a very aspie thing to do.. it's also a very typically NT reaction to be annoyed by it.

So, you need to either hold down your comments or balance them out with more pleasantries and compliments. If the ice tray annoys you so much, why don't you just put it back yourself or offer to make her a drink?

I also get pretty ratty when people use the ice, butter, milk, break and so on and leave it out. or use it all without refilling or telling me, so I'm a fine one to be giving advice

Jason

Me and my brother are in some ways completely different so I kinda understand.

You could try mainly talk to her through texting, less of a chance of mixed messages

No matter how many times I try to explain to people that I tend to think and speak literally and usually mean exactly what I say, they seem unable to understand the concept, and interpret what I say in every way except the one I meant.

Imagine asking someone for an apple, and they say, "Oh, you mean a banana?" No, an apple. "Oh, you mean an orange?" No, an apple. "Oh, you mean a bicycle?" No, an apple. "Oh, you mean Jason Statham?" No, an apple. "Oh, you mean a Nobel peace prize?"

Lock the ice in a locked box like a cashiers box.

LOL

^^This, exactly!^^

Trufax. NT women(and some to an extreme degree) are hardwired to take things personally. What I don't understand is why it's said that women have more empathy. If this were true, wouldn't they be receiving the emotions that a person is actually feleing instead of projecting their own upon them?

They do have good intuition though, which ties in with empathy.

I don't have a lot of social trouble with men, it's always other women. When I find the ones like me I rejoice but dealing with the majority is awful.

That's how it feels for me too when I talk to certain people. I call it talking to a brick wall and I so want to scream and curse at them and call them names like stupid but I know doing that will just make the wall stronger and harder to break down. Insulting brick walls is adding armor to it.