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Fear of Permanence & Change

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LonelyJar
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11 Feb 2014, 12:56 am

I know this sounds paradoxical, but two things I really hate about life are how there are some things I might not be able to undo, and how there are some things in my life that seem to be completely out of my control. Does anyone have tips on how I can cope?



auntblabby
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11 Feb 2014, 1:35 am

the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.



zer0netgain
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11 Feb 2014, 9:28 am

Both of these are legitimate issues of stress. Even if they seem contradictory.

Everyone should like some measure of change...because we eventually get bored with something.

I like to think of it in terms of employment.

The idea of getting a promotion or taking a new job IS stressful. So many unknowns.

However, the idea of staying in the same position for 20+ years is just as stressful. No hope of better pay, new opportunities, being stuck in a rut that bores you to tears.

When most people (NT and AS) choose to move on deals with comfort levels. Typically, depending on how much I "enjoy" where I'm at, after a couple of years, I'm more vigorously looking for something "better" than where I'm at because I want to make more money, get better benefits, etc. I also fear that staying in the same job too long may indicate I can't do anything better.



Marky9
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11 Feb 2014, 10:21 am

The serenity prayer that auntblabby previously cited works very well for me.

Also, Steven Covey, in his work "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", offers a model based on circles of influence and concern:

Link to One-Page PDF Explanation


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Eccles_the_Mighty
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11 Feb 2014, 12:21 pm

Try studying Buddhism for a while as one of the things they teach you is that change cannot be helped and you must embrace it and accept it.

There is however another way of looking at things. I try not to worry about things I cannot change so, for example, climate change and the global financial situation don't cause me sleepless nights because there's nothing I can do to change the situation. I do however think about the rusting muffler on my car and the unpainted ceilings in my apartment.


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