Two brains

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I've noticed that I seem to have two brains. An NT brain and a non-NT brain. My NT brain can intuitively read body language, detect sarcasm, notice subtext, have a theory of mind and socialize in an NT way. My NT brain has always been there, but my non-NT brain always seemed to win. As a kid I often sensed that people said things that that they didn't mean. My non-NT brain didn't think that was logical, so I just took them literally. As I've gotten older I've learned to listen to my NT brain more.

I can relate to this. It's basically like the intuitive side of my brain does pick up on what is going on with people but the logical side just doesn't believe it. And it takes too long to process and synthesize information between the two. Maybe my corpus callosum is not connected properly.

The ever familiar refrain running through my mind is IT'S NOT LOGICAL IT'S NOT LOGICAL IT'S NOT LOGICAL IT'S NOT LOGICAL DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE

My non-NT brain takes them literally because saying what they don't mean would not be logical.
Five hours later my NT brain says "What just happened? Did I miss something in that conversation?".

When I was younger I had far more traits typical of Asperger's, such as compulsive rituals. My social skills and basically anything else that would go along with the syndrome were also worse than they are now as relative to what was/is normal. I feel that if you took the 3-12 year old me you could easily diagnose Asperger's, but now I'm not sure as I've developed so many coping mechanisms.

I have my whole life observed others, including on reality TV. I incorporated styles of speech, body language & facial expressions, and generally any other social behaviour that appeared to be successful. Everything that I copied makes up the majority of my personality today, and I apply it almost automatically (probably scripting). It's why I don't really have a strong sense of self identity. One of the reasons that I doubt I could have Asperger's is due to the fact that while others claim that 'putting on an act' such as this exhausts them, it barely tires me (2 brains). It does feel somewhat forced and fake, but I've 'acted' so many times that the behaviour is essentially my own. When I stop 'acting' around friends, they tend to stop liking me as much and I'm almost a third wheel in the group. It's as if I have no personality without acting.. I'm just boring and repetitive.

I made a thread about what I believe you're describing a while back. It may differ slightly, but I remember thinking it was as if I had '2 consciousnesses' back when I created it. My 2nd post has the analogy.

Link

I often get into NT mode when I'm around people that I click with. I usually stop feeling the need to stim, I can focus well on the conversation and social cues and I just feel happy and peaceful. I also notice that my voice sounds less monotone when I'm in NT mode. I also gain energy from socializing and it doesn't actually feel like an act. In a strange way I actually feel more like myself when I'm in NT mode than non-NT mode. When I'm in non-NT mode I just feel so self-absorbed. I also don't enjoy socializing and socializing feels forced and exhausts me. I want to find a way to be in NT mode more often.

Now I'm reading about disorders of the corpus callosum...this is interesting. Agenesis of the corpus callosum can be misdiagnosed as autism, or labeled PDD-NOS simply because they didn't identify what the actual problem is.

http://umaine.edu/edhd/about/research/a ... losum-acc/

Health-related/Physical:
•Vision impairments (near/farsightedness, nystagmus, strabismus, problems with depth perception)
•Low muscle tone (hypotonia)
•Early feeding difficulties/gastric reflux/chewing and swallowing difficulties
•Abnormal head and facial features
•High tolerance to pain
•Sleep difficulties (e.g. getting to sleep, nighttime waking, bed-wetting)
•Seizures or spasticity
•Hearing impairments
•Elimination problems including chronic constipation
•Less common: Genito-urinary defects, cardiac abnormalities, skeletal defects, metabolic disorders, genetic conditions

Developmental
•Delays in attaining motor milestones such as sitting, walking, riding a bike
•Early speech and language delays (particularly in expressive communication)
•Clumsiness/poor motor coordination
•Delayed toilet training

Social/behavioral
•Generally happy disposition, enjoys being with others
•Socially immature
•Lack of self awareness
•Inability to take the perspective of others
•Difficulties understanding and acting on the social cues of others
•Difficulty maintaining attention
•Restlessness or hyperactivity
•Fearfulness
•Obsessive/compulsive behaviors
•Challenges with peer interactions and relationships that seem to increase with age and the complexity of the social situations

Cognitive/Communication

Although mental retardation can occur in association with callosal conditions, individuals with ACC may also have normal intelligence. Yet, research suggests that even those with isolated ACC and normal intelligence may experience subtle neuropsychological and cognitive challenges.
•Early speech and language delays (particularly with expressive communication)
•Misinterpretation of the nonverbal communication of others (i.e. their facial expressions or tone of voice)
•Difficulties with complex tasks, abstract reasoning, problem solving (such as managing money and schedules, responding to novel situations)
•Limited insight into their own behavior and limitations
•Difficulty imagining the consequences of their own behavior
•Difficulty understanding abstract language/concepts
•Difficulty understanding slang, sarcasm, and sophisticated humor
•Difficulty understanding others’ perspectives and emotions
•Confabulation (communicating information that is untrue while perceiving that it is true)



Some of this fits me, some doesn't. The interesting thing is that it mentions gastric reflux problems. I have had an reflux problem for years, and I never thought about that possibly being a neurological problem too. I had it checked out when I was 16 and doctors never could find an explanation for it.

Why don't you enjoy socializing?

Health-related/Physical:
•Vision impairments (near/farsightedness, nystagmus, strabismus, problems with depth perception) This does fit me. My left eye is way worse than my right eye so I've struggled with depth perception for a while.
•Low muscle tone (hypotonia) Don't know.
•Early feeding difficulties/gastric reflux/chewing and swallowing difficulties No
•Abnormal head and facial features I don't think so
•High tolerance to pain Definitely no
•Sleep difficulties (e.g. getting to sleep, nighttime waking, bed-wetting) Yes
•Seizures or spasticity no
•Hearing impairments no
•Elimination problems including chronic constipation
•Less common: Genito-urinary defects, cardiac abnormalities, skeletal defects, metabolic disorders, genetic conditions

Developmental
•Delays in attaining motor milestones such as sitting, walking, riding a bike Yes
•Early speech and language delays (particularly in expressive communication) I had echolalia as a kid
•Clumsiness/poor motor coordination A bit
•Delayed toilet training Don't remember

Social/behavioral
•Generally happy disposition, enjoys being with others Once in a while
•Socially immature Yes
•Lack of self awareness Sometimes
•Inability to take the perspective of others Sometimes
•Difficulties understanding and acting on the social cues of others I often pick up on social cues, but fail to respond to them
•Difficulty maintaining attention Yes
•Restlessness or hyperactivity Yes
•Fearfulness Yes
•Obsessive/compulsive behaviors Yes
•Challenges with peer interactions and relationships that seem to increase with age and the complexity of the social situations Not sure

Cognitive/Communication

Although mental retardation can occur in association with callosal conditions, individuals with ACC may also have normal intelligence. Yet, research suggests that even those with isolated ACC and normal intelligence may experience subtle neuropsychological and cognitive challenges.
I definitely do not have mental retardation. Apparently I have an above average IQ.
•Early speech and language delays (particularly with expressive communication)
•Misinterpretation of the nonverbal communication of others (i.e. their facial expressions or tone of voice)
•Difficulties with complex tasks, abstract reasoning, problem solving (such as managing money and schedules, responding to novel situations)
•Limited insight into their own behavior and limitations
•Difficulty imagining the consequences of their own behavior
•Difficulty understanding abstract language/concepts
I actually did the best on this when they tested me recently.
•Difficulty understanding slang, sarcasm, and sophisticated humor
I did as a kid, but I don't anymore.
•Difficulty understanding others’ perspectives and emotions
•Confabulation (communicating information that is untrue while perceiving that it is true)

That's not really the same with me, but I at some occasions suspect that someone might be doing some NT thing, but I simply decide to disagree with it and its existence and everything, usually to avoid a debate with myself. I usually just really don't recognize it or notice it though.

I think i have pretty good intuition.
im just not sure what to do with it, or about it, if you know what i mean.
I mean i tend to avoid people i dont get bad vibes off, so that just means i
avoid the bad vibe ones even more.

As a matter of fact, we do have "two brains," the right hemisphere and the left hemisphere. Each acts quasi-independently of the other. It's a very remarkable system.

In fact, it is quite easy to live with only one hemisphere of the brain, just as one can live with only one kidney, one lobe of the liver, one lung, etc. The human body is made brilliantly with systems of redundancy superposed with subtle differences, and the brain is no exception.

I agree that it's definitely more remarkable than given credit for.

A huge problem with removing half a hemisphere however is that unless your brain is still very plastic (like that of a child's) you're far more likely to lose function permanently. For example, if the right hemisphere is removed you will be guaranteed to lose movement, vision and sensing on the left side of your body. If your brain is very plastic (not so much in-adulthood, at least in the ways of a child) changes would occur in the left hemisphere that would help to accommodate the lost function. The function would become increasingly better over time, but it has been shown that any regained control isn't 100% effective, especially in older individuals.

Here's a link that somewhat references this: Click

Norny, that is true. That's why I keep telling my right brain not to get too reliant on the left brain, and why I tell my left brain to leave my right brain alone. However, they haven't been listening to me. It seems they have minds of their own.

Very deep. >.>

Maybe that is the reasoning behind the OPs problem.

Last edited by Norny on 15 Feb 2014, 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Norny, must you use the name of the Lord in vain?

I thought my comment was pretty funny. However, the deep reality is that you and I and everyone else here -- we are not in charge of who we are. When you get right down to it, each of us was given a cerebral physiology, quite independent from our own desires and inclinations. It's something of a mystery: I am, and am not, my brain. (Which, by the way, is a very good proof for the existence of a soul.)

I like my brain sometimes, but other times I don't. It can tell you what day of the week was for January 1, 4321 (Saturday), but it cannot visualize anything. I can figure out patterns in just about anything (which is great for I.Q. tests), but as for a photographic memory? What about a Teflon memory!

Brains are amazing and awful things.

I talked to my mom and she agrees that I probably have a corpus callosum disorder. She told me that she won't get me evaluated because it won't change any funding. I kind of want to be evaluated because I want the correct diagnosis.