trouble being around other people~ whats your explanation??

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i have trouble being around other people~ i find it physically draining.

this is usually labelled as being anti social, or disliking others, feeling uncomfortable around other people, being shy etc.
im none of those things, and its nothing personal. i like people and im very sociable; i just need to be alone most of the time.

in me, its unrelated to the fact that its 'people', or any person~ its more that my brain needs to know that i will not have the stimulation or irritation of movement and noise, or the expectation that i communicate.

its nothing to do with people *per se* ~ more like ive had a long day at work, and just want to be quiet and still for 5 minutes, and not have any interruptions~ except for me, this is the state my brain is in most of the time.

its nothing to do with other people, its simply the state my brain needs to be in.

if you have this, what do you think causes it??

sensory sensitivity and introversion

I have it and I can't stand living with other people. Even simple things like the sound of them in other rooms walking on carpet, opening cabinets, or turning on water feels intrusive and makes me angry. It's kind of a combination of sensory sensitivity and something I don't quite know how to describe except to call it introversion. By that I mean the tendency to be in one's own mind, absorbed in one's own thoughts, and so being alert and "in the world" takes effort, feels unnatural, and is tiring. The sounds and sights of people moving about constantly draw me out from my mind, where I'm most comfortable, to the outside world, where I'm less comfortable and which is less interesting.

Short answer: this is characteristic of Asperger syndrome in particular and ASDs in general. You would struggle to find an aspie who does not have this problem to some degree. I've always struggled with a very similar problem.

Slightly longer answer: nobody is sure what causes it, but my favourite theory is that the aspie mind is easily overwhelmed by sensory data. Like most humans, most aspies do have a need for social contact, but the effort required to handle the excessive input wears us out very quickly, as does being on guard for the common social gaffes that we tend to make with embarrassing frequency. This seems to be most consistent with the Intense World Theory of autism. This explains more: http://seventhvoice.wordpress.com/2013/ ... -too-much/

Thanks both of you. Yeah~ i agree.

I saw an AS shrink a cpl of weeks ago, and explained this to him. He disagreed, saud i have an attitude problem with other people, queeried my AS diagnosis, and regerred me to a personality disorder unit.

This is how i explained it to him, and said it was a common facet of As, but yet again met the brick wall of 'you have an issue with other people'.

Its nothing to do with other people, its just your brain is constantly awaiting a movement, sound, smell or need for interaction. Your brain reads it as irritants up to attacks, whether its from the love of your life or a stranger. Most of the time, i cant cope with it~ but its entirely unrelated to *people*.

Im astonished that any so-called expert could be so staggeringly backward in this fundamebtal issue.

Your profile says you have a formal diagnosis of AS. The characteristics you describe are consistent with AS.

Has this always been a problem? I mean, they are also consistent with other things, but "having an attitude problem" seems highly illogical given the diagnosis. I also note that you are female, and that AS often presents differently in females (I seem to keep posting this link http://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2 ... -syndrome/ ).

It's also not unusual for non-specialists to query an AS diagnosis (I've had this experience), so unless this guy has done a complete new assessment, preferably using female profiling criteria, I really don't see why the old diagnosis wouldn't stand. It's likewise not unusual for establishment figures to attempt to force you into that box labelled "normal", at all costs.

To me, you are describing characteristics of AS. It sounds like sensory overload followed by shutdown (something I've been intimately familiar with since early childhood, to one degree or another). I'm not in a position to make a diagnosis, but I see no reason to reject one made by an expert after a proper assessment.

@niall

Nah, its the first time since dx ive seen a pro. Yeah, i do have AS and i was diagnosed several years ago.

I put another post up today, asking about 'post diagnosis, have professionals queried your diagnosis', explaining it in more depth. I cant post a link, sorry, as im a newbie.

In short, its at a centre ive visited before and had a bad experience with~ i know others, since diagnosed with AS, who were also told 'you're just depressed', so the place has a lot of form with not recognising AS. Its horribly freudian~ huge bust of him out front, and all they wanna do is talk about your childhood. I was sceptical about going there but my dr assured me the unit was self contained. Turns out not so.

Ill freely admit i lost my cool, and just ranted, but all of my behaviour, ranting, meltdown etc, is very AS, and i know from all the AS research i participate in i certainly do have it, even if the diagnosis was flawed, which it wasnt. Its not like im borderline in anyway. I even look way younger than my real age etc.

I explained fairly coherently to him that i need to be alone, said it was just a cognitive processing issue, nothing to do with people, and the guy came out w all this poo about me being anti social and whatnot.

I asked this question to see how closely my opinions, which i related to him, accorded with other peoples' explanations. Seems i got it right, and hes just a penis who is obsessed by freud and thinks everyone needs psychoanalysis etc *yawn*

Im glad~ kind of~ to hear other people echo my thoughts, though, so thanks for taking the time to reply.

Its annoying to hear people say we're anti social~ in me its not. Its just neurology crap.

This is the other post i wrote~ http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt252442.html

Thanks for your input about sensory issues around other people.

It's OK. I found the other thread. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5921624.html

So, you are telling me that a bunch of neo-Freudians, complete with an oversized bust of dick-head himself, knowing of the AS diagnosis, with you having had a second diagnosis in order to take part in research (sounds, if not bomb-proof, then at least pretty hard to do any real damage to), triggered a meltdown and then told you that you have an "attitude problem" and referred you to a personality disorder unit?

WFT???

You can't make a PD diagnosis in 40 min. You certainly can't rule out AS and then make a PD diagnosis in 40 min. Reassessing the AS alone would take a couple of hours, bare minimum.

I'm not sure what the legal situation is (I'm also in the UK, but I haven't faced this kind of BS from the authorities - plenty of other BS, but not this), but this reeks of poor practice.

One thing that does occur to me (and I walked out of my shrink's office the other day just before I had another meltdown, partly for this reason) is that there is nothing they can realistically do to "treat" AS, so they are known to refer you round and round the fracking block in order to pretend to be doing something.

I imagine, however, that if there is a specialist PD unit, you are not local (there is fMRI research into autism at Edinburgh Uni, I believe). Such things don't seem to exist up here!

Sorry. Outraged on your behalf. I'm sick to the hind teeth of the way people like us are treated by neurotypical society. It's also been a bad week.

Peace. N

I think you've already hit on it: too much stimulation. Something like a television show or a book takes much less focus and "decoding" than a person.

@niall. Cheers, man~ PM sent.

@coffeebean. Thank you, yes!! ! Its just relaxing, lnowing things will be static and silent, or at least under your controll. I have no problem with people~ but they make noise, smells and movements, and if i want to relax, that prevents it.

Exactly, this.^




I agree, and the reason I know it is not about "people" is because my cats irritate me the same way...and whoever came up with the idea that cats are "aloof" because mine are nothing of the kind. They drive me crazy wanting me to interact with them, and their movements can make me so jittery and nervous I just want to hide in a closet to get away from them.

I don't know what to say, and I know I'm usually expected to.

Plus they scare me and hurt my ears (PTSD and hyperacusis, not ASD related).

Not to mention, you can't usually lounge in your pajamas and eat ice cream from the bucket when they're around...

Being around other people is... tasking. I have to think so much constantly with more than 1 person that I end up losing the conversation, forgetting what they're saying, forgetting what i'm saying while I am saying it, then I end up trying to stim without them noticing. I have multiple stims but for the past year + i've had one that has been obvious. I sit and pet the back of my hair and I do it for a long time and the way I do it begins to hurt my fingers but I keep doing. It's a bit better than what I did before which eventually would hurt my throat.

I used to breathe in lightly through my nose making croaking like sounds which I made when I was excited, happy, or stressed. My friends began to notice and it was really hard to control because I never really knew when I was doing it and it took a very long time until I attained a new stim. It was always a bit embarrassing when I was told "why are you doing that?! *laugh*" Lately though I haven't had to deal with more than 1 person at a time, even then it's a pain with one person. I was with a friend and I wasn't sure where to sit, what expression to have, where to put my arms, what way to hold my head, how to seat my feet, whether I should take my shoes off because I was uncomfortably warm. I was so stressed and forcing myself to not stim and be very conscious of it (didn't quite work I ended up croaking lightly) that I had to go to the bathroom a bunch of times because of nerves.

With me I feel the affliction of being shy and lacking confidence is what makes is hard to be around people. I find it gets boring because I don't have a lot to say to people or can't think of what to say, or if I do think of something to say, something makes me feel afraid to speak up and say it because of the fear of not being heard or sounding stupid or something. A lot of it is probably irrational but I still can't help it. I seem to have this extreme fear of being rejected and hurt, like I have been before. I know not all people are horrible, but I still feel afraid of people to a small extent. It's nothing personal. It's just how I feel. I'm probably just being silly.