Being a robot

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Well, I don't really know how to articulate this properly, but I'll try. When I'm around people I'm not comfortable around (basically everyone), a few things happen. I'll get very self-conscious, I'll become very stiff in my motions which probably making me look like an idiot, and I have a different (serious?) voice. And the main problem, perhaps stemming from the previous ones, is that I don't know how to fit in with people. Yesterday I had my first event with a Star Wars costuming group I'm in. We were in a Mardi Gras parade. I was the new one and most people didn't know me except from our website so some of them knew my name and face. Some of them talked to me and I had a decent chat with them, but some didn't say anything to me and the ones I did talk to me as much as they did the others. So I was kind of the odd one out. How do you become friendly with people? I try, but I can never do it. I just don't understand how these things work. It's so foreign to me.

And another related issue I have is acquaintances. It's relatively easy to make an acquaintance with someone. It usually happens for me when someone initiates conversation with me because I never initiate it. But how do you make these people friends? It seems awkward to ask them to do something with me because why would anyone want to be bothered with me when they already have friends. And besides, if they wanted to be friends, they could ask me to do something. I'm probably too awkward anyway for most people to want to befriend me.

I know all of this sounds bad, but I am much better than I was in the past. At least now I can carry on a conversation with strangers, but I still can't initiate. Before, I would only answer their questions and give lots of one word answers and whenever anyone talked to me it was like they were interviewing me. it was completely one-way lol. And i'm not *as* uncomfortable as I used to be, although still not nearly where I need to be. Not to mention I'd never dream of joining a costume group much less walk in a parade with thousands of people watching. So there is hope for me!

Thanks for reading and hopefully some of you can relate and tell me how you get by.

Just dress up as a protocol droid and have at it.

(Though a robot technically can't be self-conscious.)

Bump since I'm ignored here

I sort of pretend I'm a robot like David in Prometheus.
Kinda makes it a little easier for me when around the humans.

I can relate to you... as I'm sure many of us can. Fitting in with people is and always will be the greatest battle of my life. I don't get it. I can fake social interactions to a certain extent but I can never understand how to form those connections with people. The story sharing, joke telling, playfulness... I enjoy listening and watching these interactions, I want them badly, but I simply can't grasp it.

That is why I will have a life full of acquaintances with few true friends. Which may seem sad to some people, but I enjoy my alone time. And I also need it to survive.

Once someone is an acquaintance maybe initiate interaction with them when you get a chance and maybe eventually they'll ask you to do something with them and then you can do so in return. Or just learn to deal with having few real friends. At least you get along with people. That's where I seem to be...

I've noticed that people like being asked to do things. It may seem like why would they want to spend time with you when they could do this or that. that is OUR logic not theirs. If someone wants to hang out with you they will appreciate your advance and if not then they will just make some excuse why they can't and that is your cue to know that they are not interested in making friends with you. I think this is one of the things that makes NTs intrigued by aspies. Is that we are direct and often not fake in our interactions. It may be uncomfortable at first but then it eases up as time passes. this is how friends are made in the world of the neurotypical from what i've observed.

Thanks for the advice. It's just so hard to ask people to do things since I have this nagging feeling that I don't belong and that I should leave and stop bothering people.

Starting a conversation with a stranger, now THERE'S an ASpie topic.
I've gone through this sort of freezing up. After practicing for awhile I've learned the trick. You simply bring up a topic that they can express an opinion about that is non-threatening to them. As for your situation, namely Mardi Gras, it would have been simple to just look at someone and ask "is this a great celebration, or what?" Or to a bloke, "did you see that woman dressed up as princess? she was really cute." You don't venture into forbidden topics, just something light and easy. I go to a lot of Collector Car shows, and frequently comment to strangers, "that's a rare one, never seen one before." And they'll take the cue…

This also applies to chatting up the ladies. Never mention politics, just say "those are really pretty earrings you're wearing".