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StarCity
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27 Feb 2014, 4:27 pm

I have been recently diagnosed as being an adult that has aspergers.
Previously I had been diagnosed as having ADHD, and after a lengthy diagnostic process I have been told that I am a person with both ADHD & Aspergers.

I informed my Father via email of my diagnosis. I did it that way as my family is highly dysfunctional, and it is the only way that I like to communicate with my Father.

As a result he has stated that he isn't my Father, and that my Mother had an affair durin their marriage which resulted in her becomming pregnant with me.
He told me that he wasn't my Father once before whilst he was in a drunken state when I was a teenager.

Personally I am not at all bothered.
The way I see it is that I Am here in this body, in this world, and that the details of biological conception are not important to me. I am here. I am, I am alive, I exist. That is all that is important.

My Mother has admitted that "yes" she did have an affair, but that my Father is the man who I have considered to be my Father (the one who is now saying that he isn't).

I don't think that this has just come about due to my recent aspergers diagnosis but that my Father has had doubts for many years and as he only has a few years to live that he wants to find out once and for all.

I have emailed him to say that I am willing to fund a paternal DNA test so as to put his mind at rest one way or the other.

Has anyone else experienced a simular situation?


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We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


Sethno
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27 Feb 2014, 5:41 pm

This may go easier for you than you think.

The other day in the pharmacy, I saw a box that said it was a paternity test.

I can try to get more info if you want. It may be far less expensive than going thru a genetics lab.

Of course, I can't vouch for the reliability of a boxed test.


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AQ 31
Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".


Pobbles
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28 Feb 2014, 12:52 am

Your father sounds like a knob, sorry you got a less than supportive response. My mother is a cruel person, I suspect she would say something similar to me just to get a reaction.

Either
a) He's telling the truth.
or
b) He's lying and going through some form of self-denial or shame. ASD can be hereditary. People can be stupid.

If it turns out to be a) congratulations. That man isn't your father.

Though I hope that either way it doesn't matter to you, this sounds like it is his problem, not yours.



StarCity
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28 Feb 2014, 1:59 pm

Sethno wrote:
This may go easier for you than you think.
The other day in the pharmacy, I saw a box that said it was a paternity test.
I can try to get more info if you want. It may be far less expensive than going thru a genetics lab.
Of course, I can't vouch for the reliability of a boxed test.


Many thanks Sethno for that information.
I have researched into the ones available in a pharmacy, and yes they are inexpensive for the kit, but then the samples have to be sent away for analysis; which is the expensive bit.
So a kit may be approx. £30, but then to have the DNA analysed costs perhaps a further £100.

Prices vary, but I have found one that does it all for £99.


_________________
We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


StarCity
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28 Feb 2014, 2:11 pm

Pobbles wrote:
Your father sounds like a knob, ........
Either
a) He's telling the truth.
or
b) He's lying and going through some form of self-denial or shame. ASD can be hereditary. People can be stupid.
Though I hope that either way it doesn't matter to you, this sounds like it is his problem, not yours.


Hi Pobbles,

Thank you for your reply.
The man concerned DEFINATELY has issues. When I was 14 he strangled me & then put a gun to my head, so yes he is not a regular type of person.

The way I see it is that "I am here & alive" & am not bothered how I got here. All that matters is what I do with my life, and that I try to live it to the best of my ability.

Unfortunately, both my parents are the sort of people that like drama, and also like "wallowing in their regrets from the past & self-inflicted emotional excrement".
Personally I am not interested in all that nonsense, and live to develop & move forwards.

Pobbles, I should imagine that you are a simular person to myself. Thank goodness there are some sane people in this world :D


_________________
We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


Pobbles
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28 Feb 2014, 3:27 pm

StarCity wrote:
Pobbles wrote:
Your father sounds like a knob, ........
Either
a) He's telling the truth.
or
b) He's lying and going through some form of self-denial or shame. ASD can be hereditary. People can be stupid.
Though I hope that either way it doesn't matter to you, this sounds like it is his problem, not yours.


Hi Pobbles,

Thank you for your reply.
The man concerned DEFINATELY has issues. When I was 14 he strangled me & then put a gun to my head, so yes he is not a regular type of person.

The way I see it is that "I am here & alive" & am not bothered how I got here. All that matters is what I do with my life, and that I try to live it to the best of my ability.

Unfortunately, both my parents are the sort of people that like drama, and also like "wallowing in their regrets from the past & self-inflicted emotional excrement".
Personally I am not interested in all that nonsense, and live to develop & move forwards.

Pobbles, I should imagine that you are a simular person to myself. Thank goodness there are some sane people in this world :D


I'm not sure I'm entirely sane, but thanks all the same. :wink:

I can't presume to know your family, but the kind of nutty violence you described has been going on in my family for at least two generations. Thinking about it, the violent ones (always the women, strangely) might also be ASD - it would explain much about them.