Getting into arguments?
I have this idea in my mind that I say my opinion, they say their opinion, and we don't have to agree or do anything about it, it's just putting it out there so you both know where the other person stands on a topic, but of course it doesn't work that way. People get mad.
I have that same idea. Nope, never works that way.
I got into an argument with my husband over gun rights (he's pro and I'm not) and think I may have said that he was enabling mass shooters, yes.
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I got into an argument with my husband over gun rights (he's pro and I'm not) and think I may have said that he was enabling mass shooters, yes.
Funny how these turn into making you the bad guy. Originally I said that more crimes are committed with handguns than anything, so you should worry more about them than banning assault weapons (FBI stats say that). Somehow she got "so you're okay with crazy people walking around with AK-47s," which was not what I said.
I got into an argument with my husband over gun rights (he's pro and I'm not) and think I may have said that he was enabling mass shooters, yes.
Funny how these turn into making you the bad guy. Originally I said that more crimes are committed with handguns than anything, so you should worry more about them than banning assault weapons (FBI stats say that). Somehow she got "so you're okay with crazy people walking around with AK-47s," which was not what I said.
Yes, he's the bad guy, lol. But the gun discussion is a very devisive discussion. It is one that me husband and I try and avoid as much as possible.
I often get "Why does everything have to be an argument with you?" and I am completely baffled because I never even knew I was starting arguments. I thought I was having a perfectly good conversation but apparently they do not see it as that. I usually tell people "There is only one person who thinks this is an argument and that one person is not me so...."
I know people intentionally have arguments, I do not know why they would, I just see it as I am talking and they are responding, the only bad thing about that is I can not tell HOW they are responding. All I know is that the conversation is going back and fourth and, too me, that feels good cause I almost feel like I connect... Then they point out that I am getting everything all wrong and it goes down hill and I go back to being "Oh yeah, I forgot I really dont understand conversation". Kinda sucks and hurts too.
I find that it's more likely that someone will start an argument with me because of their problems with me, rather than any problem I really have. People have issues with the truth, and anyone who brings it to their attention, especially when the truth proves them wrong.
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That happens to me once in a while. Sometimes when I make a comment about something or ask a question some people would snap at me and it seems like I'm the only person they would do it to. I don't understand it either because what I would say wouldn't really sound offensive to me and they seem to overreact to what I said, even if I was wrong about something. It seems like they take it that I'm asking for a solution to my comment, but I'm just trying to make small talk. I just try to avoid those kind of people as much as I can.
Last edited by slw1990 on 28 Feb 2014, 12:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
I always end up in arguments even though I don't realize I am arguing half the time. I am always told that I am argumentative even though I never intend to be. I also get extremely emotional and it is also mixed with a strong degree of logic and sometimes my logic is not like anyone else's so it can get really confusing and extremely draining.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
I often get "Why does everything have to be an argument with you?" and I am completely baffled because I never even knew I was starting arguments. I thought I was having a perfectly good conversation but apparently they do not see it as that.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
I wish most people enjoy cool headed debate but most people don't like it. You try a rational argument and within a few minutes they're so insulted, it's like you've committed awful crime against their whole family or something. That's why I try to keep my mouth shut if I'm not sure what to say. I'm probably considered one of the better adapted aspies and even I'm resentful about social interactions. I'm never gonna get it right. Even to those close to me who know I'm a nice person, I'm often rude, neglectful, bossy, inattentive, uncaring, unsympathetic or just overall awkward. It's just a losing battle.
Wow, this is me everyday, I keep getting people yelling at me because of this, it's interesting, thanks, I thought I was alone! I do this even while instant messaging someone.
Not too long ago, A man was sitting down in a chair holding a big sign that said "EVOLUTION IS A LIE" in front of him. All I gave him was a thumbs down and he proceeded to provoke me into an argument by chanting "yay run away" and laugh.
That's the thing about people. You just can't help wanting your opinions to be heard. Some can handle it better than others. I'm not the greatest debater in the world so it wouldn't have helped anyways.
I love your Wreck it Ralph quote <3 It is the best quote ever!
I can write a big list full of all the people I have ever argued with. I argue with my mum a lot, and I mean a lot, but I have heard a lot of daughters do argue with their mums if they are close enough, although I think this is extreme with me. Also I argued a lot with my cousin who I grew up with (she was the same age as me). We spent a lot of time together, but we also found ourselves arguing a lot too. I don't know if that was normal or not, but we did share a sort of twin-sister bond, and I do know that brother and sisters, especially twins, argue a lot but love each other at the same time. I must admit, arguing with people is part of love to me. I seem to argue with the people I love the most out of anybody else.
Friends I have argued with, on the other hand, is a little bit different, and this always makes me feel depressed. I have fallen out with friends because we were arguing too much (I was even told that by an ex-friend). I have discovered that I only seem to argue with friends when I start to express my feelings to them. If I don't tell them how I feel, there are no arguments. So that is probably why I find it so hard to be assertive, because I fear conflict and losing another friend. When I lose friends, I go all depressed and also anxious, because I never know if it is my fault for being me, or if it is just the type of people I attract that seem to be insensitive to my feelings and so will argue. I know I always try to accept other people's feelings and try to relate or agree with them, even if how they're feeling about something sounds stupid to me, I don't tell them that. I just empathise and try to help them come up with solutions, etc. But as soon as I bring up my feelings on most subjects, that's when arguments begin. I really don't know why.
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Friends I have argued with, on the other hand, is a little bit different, and this always makes me feel depressed. I have fallen out with friends because we were arguing too much (I was even told that by an ex-friend). I have discovered that I only seem to argue with friends when I start to express my feelings to them. If I don't tell them how I feel, there are no arguments. So that is probably why I find it so hard to be assertive, because I fear conflict and losing another friend. When I lose friends, I go all depressed and also anxious, because I never know if it is my fault for being me, or if it is just the type of people I attract that seem to be insensitive to my feelings and so will argue. I know I always try to accept other people's feelings and try to relate or agree with them, even if how they're feeling about something sounds stupid to me, I don't tell them that. I just empathise and try to help them come up with solutions, etc. But as soon as I bring up my feelings on most subjects, that's when arguments begin. I really don't know why.
Family arguing is normal! As long as it does not turn physical. Mine usually do with my family because I have meltdowns with them and they get angry and they push me and push me till I lash out. Sometimes I feel like they think I am a toy, like they can not wait to see how long it takes till I pop!
I do that with friends too, and my older sister. As long as I am on her side, we get along great. I think, in my experience, that it sucks because I can not explain to them in the "proper" way how I feel about something and I talk really fast and just throw words together and then it ends up sounding really bad... at least to them anyway. I think life would be better if I just never talked, but then my children would suffer. Hmmm, is it possible to be mute to certain people and not to others? Sometimes, I just think it was better that I was mute.
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